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The outdated rituals in weddings

I attended many weddings in India since childhood, the only thing that I did in them was changed clothes after every 1 hour and posed for photographs with my cousins. I never saw the rituals followed in the weddings. It was in my 20s that I realized that the rituals are outdated and beyond idiotic. My mother says it is good that you realized it late otherwise If I had the knowledge of these kinds of rituals earlier then I would have protested outside every wedding hall instead of participating in the wedding. Here are the idiotic rituals which are still followed in weddings -

Kanya Daan – the father “gives” his daughter as a “gift” to the groom by placing the bride’s hand in the groom’s hand.


Who do you think you guys are to ‘Offer’, ‘Receive’, and ‘Bestow’? She isn't a thing or a piece of land to offer to someone else and who is this person to receive her? The bride's parents put a plate on the groom's and his parent's head and they say 'Our burden is now your burden is what the girl's family tells the grooms family. REALLY! What century do you guys live in?

Long ago, when the ritual was formed, was Kanya Daan a mere formality or was the ownership of women a fact of life? We don’t know. What we do know for a fact is that the concept of kanya daan exists even to this day. It remains not only symbolic of the ownership exercised over women by the male members of her family, but also translates to practical life. Women are treated with authority by their birth family as well as by the husband’s family. Many married women are still required to take permission even to step out.

Kanyaa daan ritual needs to stop right away. If you are a single Hindu person then remember to protest against it in your own wedding or then call me.

Gruh Pravesh - after the wedding rituals are over the groom takes the bride to his parent's house - this is called Gruh Pravesh - the groom's family welcoming the bride to their house. This sets a tone that the woman has now come to their house to become their family, now she belongs to their family - untrue - the boy and girl come together and build their own house and family, no one family owns the other person, no one person is going to the other family, it all is equal. Gruh Pravesh ceremonies need to be banned.

Mangalsutra and the Mrs. - 
Tying of the mangalsutra or thali is done ONLY to the bride. The thread also comes to be linked to the husband’s health and long life.  There is no marriage ritual that prays for the health and long life of the bride. Some women roam around in such ornaments, become Mrs. and take pride in being married, they change their lastname to their husband's lastname, like how an envelope gets stamped they get stamped too. Are you not worthy if you are not married? Men live as Mr. all their life, why are you tagging women as Miss and Mrs. This is idiotic beyond words.

Changing the lastname - 
Crappy old tradition where women are first given the father's name and then they are given (today's women willingly accept) the husband's name. Then later on the child is given the father's name too... Stop this nonsense, stop changing your lastname, name your child after you, either his/her middlename or lastname needs to be yours. Be the change that you want to see in the society, be a catalyst.

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Stephen Hawking - Great Man Great Books

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Dust if you must...

I live in clean surroundings but I don't spend all my time on cleaning everything to the brim, prim and proper. There is so much to life than keeping the house spotless and this applies to so many other things, like gossiping, spending time around negativity and stuff like that.


I would rather exercise, read a book, watch a movie, write, paint, sing, dance, learn an instrument, learn a new language, go hiking, biking, meditate, be with the nature, travel, be around positive people, play board games, the list is endless...


Here is one of my favorite poem by Rose Milligan on the same topic -

“Dust if you must but wouldn’t it be better

To paint a picture or write a letter,

Bake a cake or plant a seed.

Ponder the difference between want and need.

Dust if you must but there’s not much time,

With rivers to swim and mountains to climb!

Music to hear and books to read,

Friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must but the world’s out there

With the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair,

A flutter of snow, a shower of rain.

This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must but bear in mind,

Old age will come and it’s not kind.

And when you go and go you must, you, yourself, will make more dust.”

Social Media

If we're not careful the online world can suck us in, change us, turn us into something that is false, and twist notions of what is really real.

We begin to second guess ourself and feel as though we're not good enough, young enough, pretty enough, wealthy enough, popular enough and the list goes on.

We watch others become crazy successful, witness people going on exotic romantic trips, we see them party hard.... Our head starts to spin and we finally stop and wonder...what the HELL am I doing? Is it just me going through problems?

Social media puts pressure on people to enjoy life... to enjoy and capture each moment so that they can boast about the parties that they really did not have fun at, partners that they don’t really get along with, the friends who do not care about them, the kids that they hardly have the time for...

I do not feel ashamed to admit that I felt jealous - negative at times to see all that fun, amazing relationships that people were having... even though I know that there is a high chance that it is much exaggerated, filtered, manicured. Nobody is going to share negative things obviously.

I am subscribed to very few people, who publish posts with quality content that I like. I no longer feel overwhelmed with information overload. I really don’t care to find out who is drinking what. 

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10 Random Things about me

1. I let myself be and I let people be.

2. I am a creature of habit and discipline, I do not like too many unpredictable things happening.

3. I avoid doing unnecessary things that brings me drama and stress.

4. If I don't want to do something, my answer is, "No!". "No" is the shortest complete sentence. It does not bother me even if people say a straightaway No.

5. I am not committed to making other people happy, especially the ones who have bizarre expectations and weirdest possible objections, it is impossible to make such people happy. The only people I am committed to making happy are me and my near n dear ones.

6. I have always been a voracious reader, but I do not read anything and everything, life is too short to read crap.

7. I do not switch on the TV for months in a row, I very rarely miss it.

8. I spend approximately 2 minutes each day on social media. I am subscribed to only 4 people on it. But I do spend about 30 minutes every week reading a few blogs that I like.

9. I type the blog posts and then they get published when they do. Like I am writing this post on April 2nd, 2018, I don't know when it will get scheduled to be published.

10. I recycle content and post ages-old articles from this blog (rasikam.blogspot.com) and post them on my new blog (www.lifestyleandallthatjazz.blogspot.com) no one notices that they are from 2005/2006, so works out for me ;-).

So what is the lesson here? None. Do what makes sense to you at that moment and brings you joy.

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Just Random Thoughts...

1. Is there any such thing as bad art? I feel that art is about the process and not the finished piece. The simple act of its creation is what is important. Just doing it is good. There should be no rules in art-making. If ever there was a place that was meant to be free then it is the world of making art.

2. Love stays, relationships finish, and sometimes they last forever. Most of us have experienced it. Celebrate when it does but lovingly release it when it doesn’t. don't get sucked into negative relationships, burn the bridges and move on. The most difficult part is knowing when to do that.

3. Are there many small deaths in a lifetime? There is plenty to heal and a lot of letting go to be done.
Are we meant to seek permanence? but we are always growing, dying and being reborn so change is the only constant. Each one of us is just incredible works in progress.

4. Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved — William Jennings Bryan

5. Emotional stability is great for everyday life but it sucks for writing. Because when nothing is bothering you, or getting on your nerves, what does one write about? But I guess I don't need to worry about that for years, my mind is always overworking, there is enough material to sustain this blog for years to come ;-)

6. Can I tell you a little secret? I take outfit posts for days (for my style blog) in a row and then I don't for months, I get lazy to step out to take pictures when it is dark, gloomy and cold. I still am able to sustain this blog because it's frequency is once a week.

7. Even though I have been writing a blog for last so many years, my ultimate dream is to be a regular YouTuber, make videos and talk nonstop, about books, movies, issues or anything that is on my mind.

8. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr

9. My posts are never in real-time (not even this, this is written on 03/26/2018). I write my basic thoughts, then I ponder over them, then I type the post, then I schedule the post for some time in the future. Then the only time I edit the post is when I want to attach the photos were taken, which are not real-time again, they make it to the blog when I copy them from the camera and then edit them (crop, adjust lights, etc), I do not keep track of the date/time the posts will be published.

As I write this post - my blog posts are already scheduled till August 2020, so this post will make it to sometime after that. If I am run over by a bus tomorrow it won't affect the blog - the posts will continue to publish :-).

10. Over the years I have learned that anything is possible for people who are disciplined. Discipline has many complementary traits as well like self-control, determination and strong will power. Discipline also comes from priority. If you have led a disciplined life for the most parts then you are kind-of on an auto-pilot to lead a 'relatively' healthy and productive life, in present and in future too.

Real Beauty

Qualities I believe someone who evokes natural beauty embodies:



1. An appreciation, enthusiasm for life! Easy going, happy go lucky people with an ability to find meaning in a simple, fleeting moment just as easily as they can in a large-scale or life-changing one…


2. A love for real food; which means enjoying your indulgences once in a while but who understand the importance of a balanced diet and quality of food and are disciplined about it.


3. A desire to challenge their mind and body. Expanding one's understanding via books and art or trying a new workout or a yoga pose. Who value physical, cognitive and emotional growth.


4. An ability to walk out the door, with confidence and ready to conquer the world, every day!

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Irony

The biggest irony about my being a personal blogger is that - I am a private person in my personal life. I do not like to share my problems, thoughts, dreams, goals, plans (apart from a very few who I trust completely). If I do, then it is only when I want to share a perspective from that experience. My posts are generally 'thoughts' versus details from my life or about people in my life. I have stayed clear of mentioning any name or relationship in my entire blogging history. Interestingly none of my family members has ever asked me who is the post about, because the focus is not on who but about my learning from the experience of dealing with the who.

I never was too specific about my life in this space and I never will be. The intention is not to be mysterious or cryptic but because I like to keep my whereabouts and everyday life to myself (as much as possible), and the same goes for updates on social profiles.

I do not want my readers to agree with me on everything I say, but at least try and see where I am coming from and engage to learn more or share their own opinions.

I cringe a little when I meet people from my personal life (family, friends) and they choose to talk about my posts or outfits in person with me. Even if it is all compliments (on my face at least). My online life taking over my offline life is rather quite uncomfortable for me. My wish is to share posts on the internet and then leave them there. I do not ever want to dissect its contents with anyone in real life.  :-).

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Say What You Wanna Say

(Below opinions are only for the close relationships, the ones that you really care about, the ones in which you are respected and cared for. Relationships where you are disrespected, the ones that add stress or drama to your life - all I can say is - burn the bridges and move on, life is too short and too beautiful to spend a single moment on negative people)

Here are my five reasons why I think saying what's on your mind is always the best way to go:

1. Silence is as good as approval. If you disapprove of something but not say anything about it, it is as good as enabling it.

2. People are not mind-readers. While you may think things are obvious, people might not view the world from your perspective.

3. You might not be the only one thinking about it.

4. Speaking your mind can be a huge stress relief. I am incapable of not speaking my mind, I have a great deal of anxiety if for some reason I don't speak. It drives me crazy. It becomes this whole thing that would have not even existed had I just spoken up. Speak up!

5. You would never have to say, “I wish I had said…”
Obviously, there is a way to put forth what you want to say. The above points are not applicable for saying just the disapproved things or just the things that are hurting you but the good things too :-).

Four Favorites

Here are my most favorite 4 writers in the science genre -

• Carl Sagan - Carl Sagan's books are by far the best books in the science genre (amongst the ones that I have come across). He is revered upon by most of the scientists even today. His writing has this philosophical side to it that I LOVE. Some great books by Carl Sagan are Pale Blue Dot, Cosmos and The Demon Haunted World.

• 

  
  Richard Dawkins -In my teens when I looked around I felt a disconnect with the world. Temples, churches, mosques, god, rituals, religions, prayers... I did not understand it's meaning or it's necessity. I felt inferior, I felt I was one of these lowly creatures who lacks the most important thing that drives the world - faith. I lacked faith and I still do. When I asked questions like 'if god made us what made god' people looked at me as if I was an idiot. Then someone introduced me to Richard Dawkins and his books, then it dawned on me that it was more than normal to ask 'why', to ponder/ wonder and mostly question the various aspects of existence. Then there was no looking back for me, I read all his books, he saved me from feeling lowly about myself. Did he turn me into an atheist? No! I always was an atheist, all I needed was an affirmation that I am on the right path, the path of science.I LOVE all of his books. I feel this strong emotional bond for Dawkins as if he is my Guru/ teacher/ mentor. Some great books by Dawkins are - The Selfish Gene, The God Delusion, The Blind Watchmaker, The Greatest Show on Earth, Ancestor's Tale, The magic of reality.

• 

  Neil Degrasse Tyson - He makes astrophysics sound so easy and comprehensible even for laymen like me. It is one thing to have knowledge and another to express in words that anyone and everyone would be able to understand, and Tyson has that skill. I love all his TV shows as well, he has this amazing, positive, chirpy personality too. Another interesting fact that I want to unabashedly tell you is I have had this strong undying crush on Tyson for years. Intelligence + personality combo is quite sexy. Some good books by Tyson are - Astrophysics for people in a hurry, death by black hole, Space chronicles, Origins.

• Michio Kaku - I like his books because it always has information on latest- advancements, growth, progress, discoveries, inventions, instruments, techniques and whatnot. His books are fairly easy to understand. I feel in awe of scientists and the kind of progress that they are making. Some amazing books by Kaku are - Physics of the impossible, Parallel worlds, Future of the mind (I want to read all books he wrote).

I know from time and again I keep writing these kind of book/ writer reviews, in hope that someone will read them and pick up a science book for themselves and for their kids, I also hope that the new generation is taught astronomy over astrology, science over religion and logic over beliefs!
They say 'The more the universe seems comprehensible, the more it also seems pointless' and I say 'the more that one reads science, the more religion, wars etc. seem pointless'.

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My new video log - My Top 5 Favorite Books - 

Now...

Most of us will agree that the sheer number of years we have lived has taught us varied experiences and has taught us some important truths. We come to know, for instance, that time really does mend broken hearts; that we can not take back the words we used so we had better take care in using them, and we should speak up or take action when something or someone doesn't feel right. 

It also becomes clear life is not what we leave behind, that is history. Life is the living of it. Whether we are remembered by history or family or no one at all, we are here to live it now, in these moments when our hearts are beating in our chests, when our eyes gaze across the great skies…

Let's breathe in, laugh as much as possible, soothe our wounds and the wounds of others, love as truly as we can, take what this life has to offer, and turn it into what we need, what has meaning for us… to recognize the small but important moments in our lives when we are living them.

My new vlog - the ghost story

Hope you like it.

Philosopher’s stone

1. I do not believe in 'love at first sight' or 'love at first meet'. For there to be love... there needs to be togetherness. There is a difference between attraction and love, attraction can lead to affinity, which people can mistake for love. In my opinion, if attraction and affinity are followed by togetherness and the attraction and affinity still stays unaffected... then that state is called love.

2. Can humans live with just a beautiful body or they crave the companionship of beautiful thoughts? I don't know about others but I easily get attracted to smiling faces with progressive thoughts, the good-natured people. With their intelligence, positivity, good nature and thinking they will make you grow as a person too. For me people with rotten attitudes and negative approaches are reproachful ... how-much-ever good looking they might be.

3. If you want to look good then buy gold but if you want to turn into gold... then look for the philosopher's stone.

Life Choices

 

I am pretty darn happy with all my life choices. I like where the path has led me with the decisions that I have made.

One and the only reason why I am at peace with my choices is that I NEVER compare my life to anyone else's. My life is my own. I am here due to 'the family I was born in, the country I was born in, the personality I was born with, and then what I did with all of the variables that life offered me. No two people have the same starting point. Not even twins. So the question of comparing and resenting doesn't arise.

 If one is set out on the path of comparing and resenting about the starting points that life gave them then there is no end to it. I could have sat in a corner each day and wondered why was I born in a village not a city, why did I have to do my early schooling in schools with no walls, why not those huge posh convents, why didn't my father have any money to send me to good schools and why wasn't I born to Amitabh Bachchan instead. You see what I am saying... there is no end to it. All I need to do is compare myself ... with me... the past me.

 

I need to see my start point and compare it with the current me and ask myself do I see growth?

 

As long as I am actively choosing growth -  physical, mental, intellectual, spiritual and emotional in every moment and learning from every mistake, I count that as a successful life choice.

 

All I would say is there is nothing positive about envying anyone. Everyone has their own path. Do what makes you happy. Everyday. Choose the path of growth and rest will follow.

Smule

I had a great time singing with all these lovely people in the video, absolutely enjoying smule.

P.S. most of the videos are recorded in my bathroom- trying to emphasize on the fact that I am just a bathroom singer. 🙂

Diary

In the beginning my writing was confined in a 100 page diary. I wrote about what I did during the day, what I wore and mostly it was the reflection of all the feelings that I went through. We gaze at ourselves in the mirror once in a while, just like that whenever I get a chance I go through the old pages of my diary, to look for that innocent naive existence of me, it is not lost, I have it preserved - in my diary.

Sometimes an emotion takes over us and then we stop listening to our brain and do what the heart tells us to. That emotion can be anything, love, anger, vengeance or rage. The brain stops functioning logically when the heart starts to rule, and then we start dancing to the tunes of our emotions.
I am a common (wo)man who has experienced the battles between the brain and mind. All of these battles, struggles, fights are witnessed by my diary, and most of the battles end in the diary too. Those white papers have the power to calm me down. Stress at work, at home, my principles or the tangled relationships, thrilling-sad-funny-happy experiences and all sorts of ideas - the diary knows it all.

She bears with my anger and love both with equal poise. She listens. Everyone goes through struggles but she constantly gave me the courage to get up and try again. I am not a quiet person, sometime I feel I talk way too much and I should let others do some talking too, but with the diary I speak my innermost feelings. My parents have a big role to play in the kind of person I am today and my diary has a solid part in the kind of person I am not. Because I don't avenge, speak badly, with anger etc. just because I get to express it to the diary. She is my venting mechanism. Most of the storms relinquish in it.

She also developed a liking for creation in me.

I see the memories of yesterday and the dreams of tomorrow in my diary. She provides me the kind of support I need to be at peace and not just superficially. In real life I do not abide by the rules of society, and I am the same with my diary... more so. I have had inferiority complex ever since I remember but the diary provides me a surge of confidence every time I express myself to her.
There are loads of advantages of writing a diary, even psychiatrists prescribe it to patients going through depression etc. I had highly recommend picking up the habit of writing a journal/ diary, even if it's just 4 lines everyday.
Ciao.

PG My Man

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If you propose to speak

“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind” –Buddha

“Is It True? Is It Necessary? Is It Kind?

Oh! Stay, dear child, one moment stay,

Before a word you speak,

That can do harm in any way

To the poor, or to the weak;

And never say of any one

What you’d not have said of you,

Ere you ask yourself the question,

“Is the accusation true?”

And if ’tis true, for I suppose

You would not tell a lie;

Before the failings you expose

Of friend or enemy:

Yet even then be careful, very;

Pause and your words well weigh,

And ask it it be necessary,

What you’re about to say.

And should it necessary be,

At least you deem it so,

Yet speak not unadvisedly

Of friend or even foe,

Till in your secret soul you seek

For some excuse to find;

And ere the thoughtless word you speak,

Ask yourself, “Is it kind?”

When you have ask’d these questions three—

True,—Necessary,—Kind,—

Ask’d them in all sincerity,

I think that you will find,

It is not hardship to obey

The command of our Blessed Lord,—

No ill of any man to say;

No, not a single word.

Poem by - Mary Ann Pietzker

9 books that stayed with me - part 2

5. 5 point someone - Chetan Bhagat


Yes! A book by Chetan Bhagat is on my list! I am saying this guilt free that I loved this book and that is why I kept reading all his next books - until 3 mistakes of my life - after that I gave up. But anyway, this book opened a new avenue of books for me - English books written by Indian writers, I had never read any books by Indian writers, not even anything by R.K. Laxman, before reading 5 point someone. Then I read books by Jhumpa Lahiri, Aarvind Aadiga, Amitav Ghosh, Abraham Verghese, Salman Rushdie, Sudha Murthy, Deepak Chopra, Anurag Mathur (I love his book the inscrutable americans). I was blown away by ‘Palace of illusion’ - the rendition of Mahabharata from a female perspective. ‘Palace of illusion’ emphasized the prominence of how every story is multidimensional and every one’s point of view is equally valid and interesting, it remains amongst the top five books that I have ever read.

6. Who moved my cheese - Spencer Johnson

This was the first book that I read in self help book category. I was then at a perfect age to read self-help books, earlier would have helped too. When I look back at myself in my teens, I don’t resemble that person even a bit, I have grown up to be so different, part of it definitely is life experiences, people I met and the self-help books that I read.

Self-help books give you different perspectives on the world around you and how you interact with people, your environment and yourself. It is pretty much a blueprint for a bigger project. Remember that most of the time, these books are a life's accumulation of knowledge by some pretty brilliant people. But don't take everything in the self help books to be an ultimate truth. It is just another point of view, way of thinking. You sure learn things from books , but use the perspective you gain cumulatively along with your real life experiences and experiences of others to shape your core values. Its those core values that will help you be a better person. Books are just one of the various tools, and an important one, in that process. Always stay open and keep learning. If you are an avid reader of self help books balance your reading across different topics. E.g read about money but also read about soul, read about productivity but also read about mindfulness. This will help you gain more from each book.

Some of my favorite self help books are - the power of your subconscious mind, power of positive thinking, who moved my cheese, seven habits of highly effective people, grow younger live longer, rich dad poor dad, tough times never last but tough people do, I am okay you are okay, eat that frog, how to win friends and influence people, the four agreements, grit: the power of passion and perseverance, count your chickens before they hatch.

7. The Inimitable Jeeves

My father had the entire set of P.G. Wodehouse books, he would read them non stop, I was too curious to read P.G. but had doubts if I will understand it, considering it is british comedy. Sometimes without even trying something we unnecessarily feel that we won’t be able to do it. So anyway, before reading P.G. I watched the TV show ‘Jeeves and Wooster’ - it gave me an idea of the mannerism, style, lifestyle that the British at that time had. Once I understood that I started reading P.G. and now I am a complete fan. He has written 100+ books and I have read hardly 12, I will definitely be reading them ALL. P.G. has filled my life with humor, I read at least five pages of P.G. before going to bed, it relaxes my mind before sleeping. Life is so playful, silly, light and fun if we look at that side of it. If I ever write a book then my style would be largely influenced by P.G. and Pu. La. Deshpande.

8. Confessions of a Shopaholic - Sophie Kinsella


Before I read this book I had never read the genre called chick lit - The genre often addresses issues of modern womanhood – from romantic relationships to female friendships to matters in the workplace – in humorous and lighthearted ways. Chick lits became my guilty pleasure, however I haven’t found a better writer in this genre than Sophie Kinsella. Sometime I do hate the women characters in her books - who by chance meet millionaire bachelors and end up becoming rich and whatnot, I still read all her books. Finding Audrey is one of my favorite.

Some avid readers say they read anything and everything, well I don’t. Life is too short to read anything and everything also once we start reading and appreciating quality stuff like Ayn Rand and Richard Dawkins it is hard to read anything and everything.

9. The Martian - Andy Weir


I had an aversion towards Sci Fi books, I had read a few like ‘a wrinkle in time’, ‘ender’s game’, ‘Hitch Hiker’s guide to the galaxy’, ‘1984’ - all of these are well known books, however I did not enjoy reading them. I picked up ‘The Martian’ with reluctance and I absolutely loved it, I realized I do enjoy Sci Fi after all, only if chosen wisely :). I am now open to reading sci fi and the ones that really liked are - Replay, The Martian and dark matter. Please do recommend if you have read and liked any sci fi books.



I had a fun time writing this series, hope you enjoyed reading it too and I hope you enjoy reading those books too. Ciao.

9 books that stayed with me... Part 1

75% of the parents want their children to start reading books for fun, but I think mostly those pick up the habit of it at an early age who see their family read books for fun. You can not tell the children ‘eat healthy’, they are simply following you, as the phrase goes ‘raise yourself before you raise your kids’. I started reading because that is what I saw my family members do and reading is contagious.

There are a lot of benefits of reading - reading boosts brain power, it helps you to relax, it makes you more empathetic, it can help you sleep better, it obviously gives knowledge. 

For me, reading is a beautiful escape from the nuances of the mundane world. You can sit comfortably in your couch and yet you get transported into a different world altogether. A world with so many possibilities,  opinions, and mysteries. The best part about reading is that it leaves so much to your imagination as you create pictures in your mind, through words. And these pictures create an experience that is all yours, hidden in the depths of your mind.

Reading is definitely one of my first and foremost passions. The books that I read have a large part to play in defining the person that I am today (even more than the people in my life).

If I had to select the books that I loved it will be a very long list, so I decided to write a post on 9 books that influenced me and my reading patterns over the years.

1. Batatyachi Chaal - Pu. La. Deshpande

I did my schooling in Marathi medium so when it came to reading books the obvious choice of books for me was Marathi. I started reading ‘Chandoba’, ‘Champak’, fairy tales, followed by treasure hunt books like ‘Khajinyacha Shodh’. My reading did not evolve from that phase for a long time, probably until I turned 15.

Then it happened that my eldest brother would come back from work, sit in a relaxing chair, read a book and laugh out loud. So I picked up one of his books ‘Batatyachi Chaal’ out of curiosity, to find out why my otherwise serious brother laughed so much.

When I read Batatyachi Chaal it opened a new exciting avenue of books for me, it showed me a ray of light while I was dilly-dallying in an abyss. Pu. La. is definitely one of the best Marathi writers and was a great choice to start ‘actual’ reading. And then I read all books by good Marathi writers Pu. La., Va. Pu. Kale, Suhas Shirwalkar, Gangadhar Gadgil, Irawati Karve and more.

2. Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand

I had read enough Marathi books, so when I went to the library I had read most of the books by good writers and had to read books by ‘Popatrao’ because I wanted to read something new. If you haven’t read books by ‘Popatrao’ then you wouldn’t know the level of low-grade books that I had started to read. And that is when I saw one of my relative, also from Marathi medium, read an English book (she also appears in one of my earlier posts ‘Chiu and I’). She advised me to start reading English books. I said I don't understand English. But then looking at the ease and passion with which she read English books - I decided to give it a try, and boy oh boy how glad am I that I did. ‘Batatyachi Chaal’ showed me a ray of light and ‘Atlas Shrugged’ put me straight out on a sunny beach.

I don’t read anything and everything now, life is too short to do that and there is a lot of quality available, and for that I had to conquer the language barrier.

It took me 8 months to finish reading this book - considering it was my first English book, obviously one reads slow when they are not accustomed to the language and also because the book is huge.

From the first scene in this book where a girl gets out of a train and is teased by some men for questioning why the train stopped working, and then she shuts them up by saying she is Dagny Taggart - the owner of the train that they are traveling in. From that first scene onwards every scene in the book gave me goosebumps, it made the feminist in me proud too. I do not want to divulge the plot in case you are planning to read this book. But the basic theme is about creators and leeches, creators are ignored by the public, that is by us, and leeches are worshipped who exist because of the creators. This book was written in the 50’s and one can not help but wonder the kind of vision Ayn Rand had, the theme applies to today’s world too.

And then the next book I read was ‘Fountainhead’, again by Ayn Rand. A man who doesn’t let go of his principles and values, can he attain success? Considering everyone around us are ‘compromising’ some way or the other. At one point I got so mad at the man that I threw the book to the floor (I do not remember doing this to any other books that I read), such are the emotions that Ayn Rand makes the readers go through.

I read Fountainhead a couple of times after that and it remains one of my favorite books.

Then I kept reading English books - like Animal Farm, Alchemist, Pride and Prejudice, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, The Da Vinci Code, Tell me your dreams etc.

3. Cheaper by the dozen


I was asked in an interview at my first job, which book influenced you the most? And this was the book I said influenced me the most and the weird thing is even after reading so many books from then and now this book still remains the one that has influenced me the most. I apply it every single day in whatever I do.

It is a true story of Frank Gilbreth who brought the idea of time management into industries, he was a time and motion expert. He always thought of a more efficient process that can be followed to take care of any given task or chore, be at work or at home. He also brought the idea of parallel tasking in industries. Till today I try to form an efficient process for everything that I do and parallel task all the time.

Anyway, the book is called Cheaper by the dozen because Frank had a dozen kids. Frank was asked in an interview ‘what you do with so much time that you save by doing everything efficiently and faster?’ He said in that time I do things that I like, drink wine and listen to music (and apparently make kids too ;-) ).

If it was not for this book then I would never have been able to do the 100 things that I want to achieve everyday.

(The Indian IT industry needs to follow this book, they give importance to spending more time at work, there is zero value for efficient people)

4. Selfish Gene


As a kid I had innumerable questions for my parents, why is there life? Why does the world exist? What is God? If God created us then who created god? Why do you worship these idols? I did not feel even an ounce of faith and did not want to be a part of worships, prayers, and whatnot. Being an atheist is not easy in India, first of all, people don't understand if you question their faith, they are okay to follow thousand-year-old traditions, customs, rituals and things (like God) that were born out of someone's imagination but if you point it out to them you will be called a madman/ woman.

I was afraid that I was the ignorant one and may be there is truth to what everyone around me believes and follows, whenever something bad happened to me I felt guilty that it happened because I do not believe in God. It was a frustrating phase for me.

Richard Dawkins is the man who helped me understand that it is perfectly normal to question the existence of a creator. I can not thank him enough for pulling me out of my quandary and feeding me with all that easy to understand knowledge. And I have to thank my brother too who introduced me to Dawkins.

‘If you have beliefs then what do you have the intelligence for?’ - very well said by J. Krishnamurthi. Science will one day conquer all the ignorance in the world. It might not happen in our lifetime but one day humans will go beyond fears and see things for what they are. All gods will die off one by one as their relevance outlive our evolving intellect.

Today I am a non closeted atheist who is not afraid of any fear tactics. People are killed in the name of God/ religion more than in the name of science.

Although I am not as vocal or aggressive as Dawkins is, as long as people are not dragging me to prayers or forcing me to come to temples/ pujas and such I keep things to myself.

And then started the phase of reading loads of science books - brief history of time, Short History of Nearly Everything, mapping human history, the Sun’s heartbeat, the blind watchmaker, the magic of reality, the ancestor's tale, universe from nothing: why is there something rather than nothing, pale blue dot, demon haunted world, physics of the impossible, the elegant universe, why does the world exist, the god delusion, death by a black hole… and the list goes on.

My New Video - The Rockstar Physicist

Idiot Box : Part 11

Reviewing TV shows -
Counterpart
Too slow, gave up half way. Dark is a far better show (based on similar theme). 1/5.

Mr. Robot
Loved the first season then it got boring and tiring. 2/5.

The Middle
Hilarious. I have seen 6/7 seasons and laughed out loud in every episode. 4/5.

Blackish
Great theme, bad actors, it needs better actors with a better chemistry. Some shows were laugh out loud funny but again needs better actors. 3/5.

The Missing
Heart wrenching. 5/5.

Idiot Box : Part 10

Reviewing TV shows.

Master of none
Witty, intelligent, funny, extraordinary. 5/5.

13 reasons why
I have already reviewed it here.

Big Little Lies
It is a glossy, very well made, mystery melodrama. I love it. 5/5.

The Crown
I know everyone is going gaga over the crown but I don't understand why. Is there anything extraordinary that the queen did so the viewer needs to see a tv show based on her life? I didn't find her life interesting. 2/5.

The Handmaid's Tale
Astounding, marvelous, superb, no television event has hit such a nerve. 5/5.

The end of the F***ing World
I did not like it. 1/5.