Saturday, April 21, 2018

Past Present Future


Once in a while I mull over my actions and or beliefs from a few years back and I reach the same conclusion every time - "I can not believe, how naïve (aka dumb) I was!

Looking back I never think I was all that intelligent. I could have done things differently. Done them better. I could have been more confident, studied more, played more, created more, snapped out of inferiority complex or had the ability to judge people better. I am not telling you my regrets. It is a mere analysis and aftermath of what goes on in my head.
The 'present me' gives the 'past me' that aggrieved feeling, the kind one gets when they cannot believe that someone can be that disillusioned (aka stupid).
Do you ever feel unhappy with the 'past you'? 
Well, never mind, here's to the better 'present us' which we will be looking back as past in the future!

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Enjoy


Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

- Mary Schmich

Saturday, April 07, 2018

I no longer have patience...


I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals (and are not feminists). And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.
- José Micard Teixeira

- and are not feminists added by me ;-)

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Empty Voids


We are all surrounded by chemicals. Our soap, shampoo, perfume, deodorants, house cleaning supplies, dish washer soap, laundry soap, sometimes water that we drink, air that we breathe, the food that we eat (grown with pesticides/ fertilizers), clothes that we wear (processed with chemicals and dyes), everything is loaded with chemicals and toxins. To add to that we, with our own 'conscious will' decide to indulge in some more toxins like alcohol, drugs, cocktails, chocolates-deserts-ice-creams made with liquid nitrogen, preserved foods.

Humans have these empty voids that they try to fill up with some crazy entertainment (which is mostly consumption - as mentioned above). We have moved away from natural living big time.

We need to eat clean, simple food, explore variety but keep it simple, respect food. Food gives us energy, it was us, it is us, it repairs us, we are what we eat/drink and what we digest, food is sacred.

There is nothing safe in consuming alcohol, drugs or food loaded with chemicals (molecular gastronomy!), even though the argument will be, it is safe in small quantities. We are surrounded by toxins already, we don't need to add more to our body.

Change is required in the way we eat, move, sleep and think...

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Busyness

In your recent interactions with people have ever answered to the simple question “How are you?” with some variation of “I’m so busy!” What happened to the good old, “I’m fine, thank you. How are you?”. Do we somehow think that being “busy” is a symbol of status and importance?

Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness; it is our way to tell people that our life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if we are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day. When we say 'I am busy' it sets a wrong tone to the conversation too, because if we are so busy then it creates distance even before one starts the conversation (my opinion), why would anyone want to take our time in a small talk if we are so busy.

The truth is that being busy all the time is counterproductive. Our brains need space to think clearly and strategically. If we are caught up in the busy trap then it actually means that we are constantly reacting to tasks, accept whatever the day throws at us, being part of something that we don't even want to do, instead of making purposeful choices about what to do with our time.

We need to stop the glorification of busy and not let the activities/ social events/ tasks choose us, but we should choose them.

We need to make the choice to be less busy and schedule some time to reset, relax and give our mind the space it needs to think creatively, to come up with great ideas and to just rejuvenate.

Every time we tell ourselves (or others) that we are too busy, we should stop and think about what we are really saying and think about everything that is cluttering up our calendar and our to-do list and decide to do only what is important. We just might discover the joy of being less busy.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Fashion



These are my opinions on what fashion is (as usual applicable for both genders).
  1. We should not wear certain clothes because others are wearing them. We need to wear clothes which make us look & feel good. Fashion can take a hike! It's good to be fashionable but only when fashion makes us look good!
  2. We should not forget our paunch :) how many of us have a perfect-flat-stomach? I know I don't. And yet, we are determined to wear body-fitted dresses circling our paunch almost, as if with a compass! don't wear belts, low rise jeans or things like that, unless you want to highlight the paunch.
  3. We need to watch our make-up (if you decide to wear it). It is a good idea to learn basic makeup and know some tricks like the foundation needs to match our skin-tone. Innumerable makeup tutorials are available on Youtube.
  4. Keep it simple. Fancy clothes plus too many accessories can result into looking like a circus really :). When accessorizing, choose one - bunch of bangles/bracelets or bunch of necklaces/chains or one of each and never all!

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Random Thoughts


  1. Value your time. Don't confuse being busy as being productive.
  2. Pick your battles. Just because you choose to be quiet doesn't mean you are wrong. It means you are smart enough to save your energy for what matters more.
  3. Don't let anyone else decide your self-worth - not social media, not your followers, friends, not your family. You decide your own self-worth.
  4. Standing up for what you believe in doesn't always mean going out on a protest march. Simply continuing to live the way you want to is action enough.
  5. People will continue to surprise you. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes not. Try and keep an open mind. Even with buffoons.
  6. Just because someone is intelligent doesn't mean they will produce quality work and vice versa.
  7. No one has it 'all' figured out, no matter how sorted they look. Everyone is just doing the best they can.
  8. Let go of the fear of missing out. No one is having more fun than you are. If you are happy where you are, then that's what matters the most.

Saturday, March 03, 2018

Not my concern


Some people want people they like, to get along with each other, they take measures to make sure that everyone they hang out with like each other back. For example your friend might want you to get along well with her husband and kids, or your partner would like it if you got along with her family, your family would prefer it if you got along with all your relatives, your relatives would be elated if you got along with all their relatives, may be that's bit of a stretch but you get the gist.



I understand that it can be very stressful mentally to be spending time with people you don't get along with - simply in the name of association.



I am totally fine if two people I am extremely fond of, are not fond of each other much. The least I expect from people in general is to be civil and well-mannered no matter who they are and whom they like (or not). I have no need for my girlfriend to get along perfectly well with another girlfriend, or every family member to get along with every other family member, so on and so forth. It is great if they do, but if they don't it doesn't bother me.



It also does not bother me if someone I am fond of is hanging out with someone I don't get along with. I really don't care to indulge in anyone's personal dynamics with each other. I like giving people their space and letting them make their own choices about who they want in their lives and/or don't, my wavelength matching or not matching with someone does not imply it will for you. I do not think having me as a common link should be a punishment for anyone. The only relationship they need to care about is with me. Anything else is not necessarily my concern.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

6 Benefits of home cooking



When it comes down to feeding your body, nothing is superior to preparing your food from scratch, with quality ingredients and made with love. If you have never experienced this phenomenon then try it out for 90 days and see how you feel. Let’s take a look at why preparing your food is a win-win situation for everyone.

1. Saves money
Packaged and prepared meals cost you considerably more than cooking with raw ingredients at home. Preparing meals at home can save you money.

2. Saves time
In the time it takes to drive to a restaurant, place your order, wait for your order, return home and serve the meal,  or even in the time you eat at the restaurant, you could have made a three-course meal from scratch with time to sit and eat too. For those on a busy schedule, prepare half the week’s meals on a Sunday and the other half mid-week, which can allow time for relaxation or beneficial exercise.

3. Less salt and trans fats
Preparing meals at home allows you to control the amount of salt and oils you use in your recipes. This in turn reduces the possibility of weight gain and clogged arteries.

4. Balanced meals
Taking the time to plan your weekly menu not only helps to save time and money, but also provides a way to create meals with a balance of protein, carbohydrates and fat, plus all the essential vitamins and minerals needed for the adult and child’s body. When eating balanced meals your body feels satisfied, has fewer cravings and this in turn prevents late-night snacking.

5. Hygiene
According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) 76 million people are poisoned by food each year in the United States. This is caused by food-borne pathogens such as bacteria, viruses and parasites that can seriously harm you. Forty cents of every U.S dollar spent on food is for restaurant or prepared foods, which allows for more possibility of consuming cheap foods prepared by inexperienced handlers, posing a greater risk of improper cooking and/or cross contamination of foods. When preparing meals at home you can better control the temperatures when cooking meats, keep hands and countertops clean and properly wash your raw produce.

6. Weight control
I am not saying this out of my hat- research is saying - that people who eat home cooked meals tend to be healthier and weigh less than the ones who eat restaurant food often.

(Cooking is definitely an essential skill to have for both genders.)

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Blood is thicker than water...


I have had some amazing friends, that I am still friends with. They helped me to be the person that I am today. Be it happiness or sadness I still feel comfortable sharing stuff with them. I remember the day when I moved to Seattle, I did not cry leaving my mother but I cried when my best friend (sakhi as I call her) showed up.

But then the bestest of my friends have been my cousins and relatives my age, I get along with them even better than my non-family best friends. There is this instant connection, belongingness and care when one hears that we are a 'family'. Yes, this post is about family.

If I look back at my life I have been the closest to my family members, I can not stand a single word against any of my family members. If and when I have been through the darkest phases it is the family who has helped me the most. Same goes for me - if anything had to happen to any of my family member I would want to drop everything and be of help. I am glad that I have a sane family who understands and care for each other.

There are some weird type of families, like, four brothers living on four floors and yet no one talks to each other, fighting over an estate that the parents left for them, like the vultures fighting over dead bodies.

There are gossiping families, the ones who gossip about every family member in their absence and are not loyal to each other. All they have for each other is disrespect and poison. It is not surprising that such families do not stick together. They fight, quarrel, yell, scream, gossip or try to control or demean others.

And yet I feel that if something drastic had to happen in one's life, say cancer, then it is the family that would come for help, doesn't matter what the past equation has been.

There comes a phase in life when you love your friends more than your relatives or family, but then eventually one realizes that it is not about likes or dislikes or whom you want to go watch movies or party with, it is about  - for whom does your heart ache when you see them in trouble? For whom can you not stand a single word against? Who would drop everything and be with you if you had been in a bad accident? I bet most of the names would be your family members, isn't it?

And that's why they say 'blood is thicker than water'.

Do you agree?