Saturday, July 30, 2016

My opinions on opinions

As children we go about our life of jumping, running, screaming, playing and doing whatever we want without worrying about any kind of opinions that people are forming about us, until our parents remind us "what will people think".

Now comes a phase when we have the awareness that we are being observed and everything that we say or do (or don't say or don't do) is under scrutiny and judged by others. And so start the inhibitions, I don't know maybe you are born to doctor parents and want to be a ballet dancer, now your own heart might worry "What will people say".

In order to rise above this, to do what we want and also to not worry so much about our image it is important to realize that people who are forming opinions about you are:

1. Too busy with their own crap to spend too much time on you, the focus on you will die down soon. Also they will most likely find someone new to pass their expert comments on.

2. They are forming opinions based on their own perspective, upbringing, experiences and open or closed mindedness, they are not necessarily right or wrong, good or bad, true or false.

3. Most of them are good at just judging and may be not be doing anything else with their life. They are obviously talking about you even though they themselves are in deep shit.

4. The other day the BFF and I talked about how people get fat and never realize the importance of exercise and good diet, it was a good discussion while indulging in a big piece of cheesecake. We soon realized the irony of comments and laughed out loud (we both are overweight and nowhere close to being healthy). Not everyone realizes the irony when they pass their opinions. Opinions are ALWAYS hypocritical.

5. People talk about others as it gives them a momentary pleasure of feeling better even though proving others are doing bad doesn't prove we ourselves are doing any good.

5. People talk more about things that they want but can not have. Maybe you want to start your own business and people talking about it brings you down then realize it that they lack the courage to do it and so all they can do is talk! May be you are flaunting a bikini at a beach and people start gossiping/ passing comments, trust me they all want to be able to carry it off like you do (I know I do) but they can't and so I say people who do not or cannot do something start criticizing it, like I review movies even though I don't know how to make any ;-)

See how people talking about you is never about you but always about them?

Ignoring people's opinions is a skill that is necessary for everyone, be it artists or plumbers, to create what we want and simply to live our short lives happily on our own terms.

Be free, do what you want, create what you want to create. As long as we intend no harm no one but we ourselves should decide who we are and what we are meant to do. We are more than able to follow our own compass. We must live our own truth no matter who may be offended because trust me at all times someone or the other will be offended!

Don't bother shutting people up because they never will. Don't let people's unwanted and hypocritical opinions weigh you down as you would be able to fly high without all that weight.

Thursday, July 21, 2016


I know a girl N, she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my lifetime. She looks a lot like Madhubala (yesteryear actress). When we were little N was always very quiet and didn't play with anyone. She was tagged as being arrogant, the one who has a superiority complex. And why not? the one who looks good has to be haughty, isn't that our prejudice? N's resemblance to Madhubala was so uncanny that even she had a hole in her heart (just like Madhubala). So the reason she didn't play or interact much with anyone was because of her health/ stress and who knows may be she actually had inferiority complex because she wasn't 'normal' like the other kids.

Here is another story of a brilliant person X, working at an amazing position, always cheerful, extremely confident and the most vibrant person I have ever met. X is born with a physical deformity which has been a subject of laughter/ pity and the very people who made fun of /or thought lowly of X are nowhere close to being as smart or as good a person as X is.

Good looks are not your achievement and bad looks not a failure, it is simply a game of statistics, probability, nature and genetics. There is no reason to feel any sort of complex for belonging to one of the category or being prejudiced about people belonging to one of those categories. 

Wonder is the name of the book - it is a story of a boy born with a genetic disorder that makes his face look all mushed up. He goes through many troubles - from school admission (though he is brilliant) to acceptance from the school kids (even though he is super funny, goodhearted kid). It is a serious topic, handled beautifully and lightly. I wish every single adult and child reads it. Good for ages 5+. 

*The world would be an awesome place if we get admission/ job/ opportunity/ respect based solely on our skills, merit, intelligence and not based on our looks, gender, caste, family, class, sub caste, religion or nationality.