Monday, January 25, 2016

Avoid These People

1. The Gossiper

It definitely feels like a warm blanket when someone is curious to know about our wellbeing. It shows caring and love, it gives us a confirmation that we are not alone.

I am sure you like it when people ask you how you are doing and listen to what you have to say. But beware because some are just looking for information to provide it to someone else. It is not hard to recognize people with these villain-ish traits, they turn around the things you said into stupid gossip.
If someone is gossiping with you then be 100% sure that they are even gossiping about you.

2. People with negative attitude

They find trivial faults, incise old wounds, try to control your life, make you feel good for nothing through various comments and will make every move to make you feel sad. Avoid such people as it causes unnecessary negativity in life. Its tough when these people are in your family but if it bothers you then it is not impossible to stay away from these sort of relationships.

3. The Emotional Vampire

These are the people who suck the energy right out of us with their incessant complaining about their all-consuming problems and leave us completely drained.

There are people who are having just a bad day don't mistake them for an emotional vampire. This category of people consistently plays the victim and manipulates, they constantly complain about everything even as trivial as catching common cold. In contrast someone-in-need is going through a rough patch and your relationship is not built on her so called struggles. If you feel perpetually drained and negative rather than energized and boosted by your connection then set limits or pull away.

I think it is better to surround ourselves with people who are positive and who let us be ourselves. Should we dump people when they are struggling because they are unable to make us happy? Obviously not. But what do you do if this person is always dragging you down?

I recently found myself never sharing good things about my own life and changing the way I communicated and behaved in order to avoid upsetting my always complaining friend. I had compromised my true self around her and I knew I had to pull back.

4. Tit for tat category

The tit for tat category do not give any benefit of doubt and assume every single and silly act was done on purpose and take silly revenges. If you don't attend their birthday party because you were sick then on your birthday they will go out of their way to not wish you. Sometimes it is hard to even understand that you actually did a tit until you receive a tat! Why have these type of childish relationships unless of course if you are in middle school!

5. The no reciprocation category

There are a lot of people whom I find extremely interesting and try to connect with them but they never reciprocate. If they are meeting hundred other people and giving you an excuse that they are very busy to find time for you then don't waste your energy and emotions over them. Try a few times but then let go, relationships can not be forced.

I wish it was easier to identify toxic people right away. If it feels wrong in our gut then it is probably not a productive relationship. What are your warning signs?

Monday, January 11, 2016

In search of another Guru

I know it is my track record but no, I am not writing another post on spirituality frauds ;-) This post is about the legendary film maker Guru Dutt.
I am intrigued and awestruck by Dutt's films, the seamless quality of their screenplays, the richness and beauty of dialogues, strong male and female characters, remarkable acting and last but not the least use of meaningful melodious songs. Apart from Rajesh Khanna and Dev Anand, Guru Dutt has been my most beloved Bollywood personality.
Some incredible films by Guru Dutt are 'Pyaasa', 'Chaudhavin ka Chand', 'Kagaj ke phool', 'Baazi', 'Mr. & Mrs. 55', 'Aar paar', 'CID', 'Sahib Biwi Aur Gulam', 'Bahurani'.
The world we live in is full of jealousy/ hatred, everything revolves around money, relationships are temporary, people are friends only when in need, the ones who call you family might even be the first ones to strike you with bad words and Pyaasa brilliantly captures the dark side of the world.
Do you think there are great writers and poets in the world who go unnoticed because we are too busy reading crap like Fifty shades of Grey? Pyaasa is a story of an incredible poet whose depth of poetry is not understood by the publishers. I feel most of us confuse art with entertainment. In the realm of the visual, we want to see and read something pleasant, something that is not abstract, I think most of the artists create entertainment (and not art) to survive.

May be I like Pyaasa so much as my version of the world is quite similar to what is shown in the film. As one of the song in the movie says - Yeh Mehlo, Yeh Takhto, Yeh Taajo Ki Duniya, Yeh  Insaan Ke Dushman Samaajo Ki Duniya, Yeh Daulat Ke Bhookhe Riwaajo Ki  Duniya, Yeh Duniya Agar Mil Bhi Jaayeh To Kya Hain? - This world of palaces, thrones, and crowns, This world of societies that resent humanity, This world of those hungry for material wealth, What is this world to me, even if I can have it (In short it means nothing to me).
Dev Anand thought that Dutt wasn't a good actor (I read in his interview) but I love Dutt as an actor. Dutt's acting doesn't seem to have a method, process or any style, and so it is extremely subtle and real. The men that I see around are not Hritik Roshans, Dev Anands or Salman Khans they are more Amol Palekars, Rakesh Roshans and Guru Dutts, simple, enigmatic and elegant.
I wonder if Dutt portrayed himself in Pyaasa and Kagaj ke phool. He died too young, he should have made more films. We as an audience missed out on a lot. I am always in search of movies that are of Pyaasa's caliber, I wonder if the industry too is in search of another Guru!