How To Lose weight and be healthy?

1. Why did I want to lose weight?

The main reason for my weight loss project was very superficial -  Every morning when I looked at myself in the mirror I did not like what I saw. Now one may wonder 'why do you care so much about how you look?'. Well, when you buy good clothes, jewelry, shoes, brands, get haircuts, manicure, pedicure - are you doing it for some kind of social service? Nope, you do that to look good/ presentable.

I truly believe that one may be adorned with diamonds, jewels, Prada or Chanel worth 1000 bucks but fitness looks the loveliest of all. Fit people are the most attractive people even if they are wearing torn clothes. One may be covered with gold but fitness is that Philosopher's stone that makes YOU look gold.

Also being overweight can cause a lot of medical issues.

2. Reasons for weight Gain?

One may put on weight because of several reasons: medical issues, bad diet, sedentary lifestyle etc. but the most lame reason I have heard for being overweight is 'It is genetic!'. 

The only thing that is genetic or so to say runs in the family is lifestyle, choice of diet and exercise. It is too convenient to blame it on genetics.

I weighed 175 pounds not too long ago. I covered myself with loose clothes/ scarves/ jackets and still was congratulated by many strangers at malls, social gatherings on being pregnant 

(I was NOT). It was terrible, I felt depressed.

I got angry at people if they pointed out what and how much I ate or how fat I looked.

3. How much weight is perfect?

The definition of perfect weight varies from person to person depending on the level of our laziness and disillusionment. 

I referred to this chart - http://www.calculator.net/ideal-weight-calculator.html trying to match the weight suggested by Robinson formula (for my height and age).

It is possible that you are kind of a person who is comfortable in your skin and weight issues do not bother you much. May be you are someone who carries that belly fat with pride, in that case this post is not for you. You can go back to being disillusioned, it's hard to take the weight loss challenge until we are out of the denial phase.

This post is for you if you accept that you are overweight, do not conveniently blame it on genetics and are determined to lose weight.

4. How to lose weight?

For those who are still with me - answer to the question 'How to lose weight?' is not a secret obviously, the keys are Diet and Exercise. The difficult part is how to implement it, unfortunately it doesn't happen by any magic trick (as I was hoping).

I like what they say about Hinduism - 'It is not a religion but a way of life'. 

It sure is applicable in case of weight loss - It is not something that you do every Sunday but needs to become a way of life.

If we don't change our core lifestyle then the lost pounds keep coming back.

For losing weight one needs to sacrifice a lot of things. WRONG. 

If weight loss is an important goal for you then what you give up is not sacrifice but gain/ profit. So nowhere in this post am I going to say 'I sacrificed...' NOPE it is all gain (in this case loss ;-), we don't want weight gain ;-) ). 

The things I gave up do not matter much to me as looking thinner gives me utmost happiness. I still have to lose 8 more pounds but I already love how I look now (f**k modesty).

5. How to find time for weight loss project?

In order to Exercise you need Time and that is the second most lame reason I have heard about being overweight - 'I don't have time to exercise'.

In my denial phase I have used both lame reasons myself - 'It is genetic' and 'I don't have time'.

Time - everyone gets 24 hours a day, no one is blessed enough to have more, seriously! The most important thing you need to do to find 'time' in your routine - Simplify. 

6. How to Simplify?

A. Possessions: Minimize things that you have. Clean up your house, organize it, donate/ throw away things that are not required. This saves up time that you spend on managing, cleaning and finding stuff. Simplify Clutter. So if you have a bunch of kids and pets then you are doomed ;-) just kidding... I am sure you will still be able to simplify in any given situation.

B. Relationships: Do you like quality or variety? I like quality and hang out only with people whom I get along very well. Relationships that give you stress, humiliation, unhappiness are not worth having. Cut Down... you will be saving a lot of energy, frustration and in return what you get is time to do things that matter.

C. Actions: Are there any junk actions that you can live without? which are not helping you in any which way? For example - I cut my hair short and saved the time to manage and set long hair, didn't get my nails done, didn't go shopping AT ALL for 3 whole years... it was hard :-) 

I am sure you can think of some actions that you can cut down on. Video games anyone? 

D. Chores: Get Help! Rather than spending on expensive brands/ jewelry and what not, spend on maids who can help you cook, hire house cleaners. Delegate tasks. 

I don't know, but may be you are helping a friend's kid learn Spanish when you can actually use that time to work out. Well, trust me your friend will manage. Make a priority list and cut down the non important stuff.

E. E for e-clutter - I delete all my emails unless there is some action that needs to be taken. I am subscribed to a very few people on social accounts. Other sources where I lost a lot of my time - you know celebrities wearing nice clothes and make up and posting their pictures from every angle everyday - fuck them - those pictures are not adding any value to anyone's life so I unsubscribed to all celebrity accounts I followed. Cut down the e-clutter - This is the biggest time saver.

F.  Parallel task - I take care of laundry, ironing, cleaning etc. while I listen to audiobooks, I am sure you should be able to make a list of things that you don't want to cut down on and can also be done in parallel. 

 G. At Work: All of the above (which ever is applicable for you) needs to be applied at work as well. I would highly recommend the book Essentialism: The disciplined pursuit of less by Greg McKeown. 

If you are someone who is overly ambitious and after money/ promotions and all that jazz (or work with Amazon ;-) ) then what can I say?.. just Get a fuckin' LIFE!

So basically - Donate, Throw away, Cut down, Prioritize, Organize, Minimize, Delegate and Simply Simplify. Woohooo! Now you have a cleaner, de-cluttered house, you are surrounded by only those that matter, doing things that are utmost important, congratulations on getting a fuckin' LIFE and most importantly for claiming back your very own TIME. So what do you do with all the time that you have?

A. Exercise, B.Focus on diet, C. Sleep, D. Read, E. Take a hobby.

Because that is also important for mental health.

A.Exercise: 


'Gyms are expensive' this is the third most lame reason I have heard from people. These are the very people who spend a LOT on restaurants, movies, clothes and what not. Does one need to join gym to exercise? I haven't been to gym in last 6 months and that is when I lost the most of my weight. 

What kind of exercise do you do to lose weight?

1. Aerobic - hiking, biking, running, aerobic gym classes like boot camp, bosu circuit, HIIT training etc.
2. Weight Training
3. YOGA and pilates

Notice how I have written Yoga in all caps? that is how much it helped me in every which way to have a mental, emotional and physical balance.

Exercise helps one feel energetic, increases immune system, improves mental health, helps your heart function normally and of course helps with weight loss. I can not insist more that how much it is important for everyone to exercise (even if you don't want to lose weight).

7. What about Energy?

We have a great fear of getting tired so we look for an easy way out. Any energy depleted is not lost forever. Why do we plan our fatigue the same way we plan work? Most of us barely move as we need to 'save energy' to work out at the gym, there too we time ourselves, count repetitions, track the heart rate. These days people wear those wrist bands which even tracks how much they slept! If you wake up and feel fresh then you slept well... Similarly if you feel like working out in the morning and then again in the evening go for it!

STOP robotic routines, move around, run, walk, do Pilates, go biking, climb hills - There is no rule how many times or how much to do... just do it as much as you can... because you can!

Stop staring at the idiot box for hours, consumption is easy, creation is hard and creation is something that gives us long lasting happiness. In this case it is creating a good healthy body.

8. DIET

Eat less, stop eating sugar, try intermittent diet, eat fresh home cooked food!

WhatzApp Message...

You know sometimes we get these stupid forwards which are sent without thinking it over twice... I received one such forward -

It said "Our generation is becoming so busy trying to prove that women can do what men can do that women are losing their uniqueness. Women weren't created to do everything a man can do. Women were created to do everything a man can't do."

What a blunder of a statement!

When you say 'Women weren't created to do everything a man can do. Women were created to do everything a man can not do' - you are assuming that people and the whole existence was created and there is a creator with consciousness - who planned it out that this is how a man will look and this is what he will do - this is how a woman will look and these will be her tasks - that assumption in itself is so idiotic that I do not need to explain it further.. But I am still going to do that - 

Let us assume for a minute that there is a creator who had everything planned then you are assuming that a man was created first and the left-over tasks were assigned to a woman - Please tell me how was the man created in the first place if not from a woman's womb? - so let us rewrite the statement in a correct way (for fun as it still assumes that there is a creator) - a man was created by a woman to delegate things that she didn't want to do ;-)

Let's look at the next statement - 'Our generation is becoming so busy trying to prove that women can do what men can do that women are losing their uniqueness' -

So men and women have unique traits which are specific to their gender and which shouldn’t overlap?

My question is – who gets to decide what men can do? Who is trying to prove this, and to whom are they trying to prove it? One could argue that it no longer needs to proven to anybody – that was accomplished generations ago.

What needs to be focused on is the encouragement of women in whatever field they wish to pursue. Individual passion, work ethic and ability will determine whether one succeeds in a particular type of job or skill, not gender alone. But hearing voices which value their ambition and drive, rather than questioning or disapproving of it, is so important to the success of young women in a variety of fields.

The second thing is why would anyone want to prove that they can do what a man can do? - you are posing it here as if men are doing something extraordinarily awesome that is completely out of reach of the other gender, well, you are not. Our generation of women is just rebellious enough to grab opportunities which were always rightfully ours- equally.

Differences in brain physiology between sexes do not necessarily relate to differences in intellect. Although men have bigger brain size which is partly explained by their bigger bodies, women have a greater cortical thickness, cortical complexity and cortical surface area (controlling for body size) which compensates for smaller brain size. If you were checking IQ test papers with no names on it then you wouldn't be able to tell the race, color, sexual orientation nor gender from the results. Two people can have the same IQ - irrespective of anything.

Also what kind of uniqueness are we talking about in the statement? that women can give birth? 

Taking care of household things cannot be an uniqueness because it needs two hands to take care of things and men who have hands should be able to take care of it too, unless they lack brain power to do simple mundane tasks like dishes or are physically so weak that they can not gather the energy to move around and take care of chores - that would explain their bulging paunch by the way!

Our sense of uniqueness isn’t dependent on the gender expectations of others.

People call me a 'feminist' as if I hate men - I do not hate men, I love both sexes, in fact, men more so (as I have spent hours thinking about them;-)). But I am just an equalist. I never liked hearing men are better than women at anything and I don't want to do that disservice to the other sex.

But do I really think all the men are my equal? No. They are not. Some are better, some are equal and some are different (just being diplomatic).

Do I really think all the women are my equal? No. They are not. And the same logic as above applies.

Are two men equal in their strengths and weaknesses? No. Are two sexes equal in their strengths and weaknesses? No. Are two women equal in their strengths and weaknesses? No. 

But they do deserve an equal opportunity to try everything, to get what they rightfully deserve (that means if a job is dependent on a test result then whoever tops the list should get it) and an equal reward for a work well done... and not judging anyone based on gender roles which were defined over a thousand of years ago... And that's the point of equalism (in my books).

New video - 5 books by 5 female writers

 

The in-laws problem

According to Cambridge University psychologist, Terri Apter, 3 out of 4 couples experience significant conflict with their in-laws so chances are high that you are one of those 3 couples.

I am yet to meet a married girl who has in-laws and does not complain about them. Why are so many of them complaining I thought? There has to be something wrong with this system…

This is my analysis of the problem based on the examples that I have heard. 

example 1 - a woman once told me 'my daughter in law does what she wants, she goes for parties, she also wears mini skirts and I have no objection. I have given her all the freedom and yet she does not behave well with me'.

And this is what I said to the lady - 

Your daughter in law is a free citizen of a free nation, freedom is her birthright, Who exactly do you think you are to give her freedom?
And that is problem number 1. Just because someone is married to your son does not make you their authority. unless there is a change in the mindset how can there be any improvement in the relationship? 

example 2 - Since I live in the USA I get to hear the problems ladies living outside of India have. The ladies travel to India for a few days in a year and before leaving for India they go through sleepless nights and anxiety attacks. Why? because they are not just expected to but also forced and mentally tortured to stay with their in-laws during the trip. Not obliging by it causes so much drama in their daily lives that they choose to rather oblige. It wrenches my heart when I hear these kinds of stories. 

The ladies have their own parents that they are wanting to spend time with, just like your sons do. Torturing women to sacrifice time with their parents is nothing but cruel. 

The man has his own side of the family and the woman has her own side of the family, it is an amalgamation of families, no one family owns the other person.

Daughter in law is solely responsible for the entire family’s happiness, she is at the bottom of the ladder in the family and has to prove herself, she has to respect no matter what, she needs to sacrifice her feelings and her family, and after marriage in-laws' house is where she belongs. 

If you think this way - REALLY! What century do you come from? How can anybody think that getting married means the end of her relationship with her parents, who gave her birth, who did everything for her, and because of whom she is and has - whether it’s professional or personal achievements? Many Indian men live with uncut umbilical cords all their lives and expect women to sacrifice. Unfair. Illogical. Unhuman.

Example 3 -

A lot of people have asked me to compare my sister in laws based on how much they have cared for me and my parents. No one has ever asked me to compare me and my brothers based on the caring factor.

It is fascinating to see that women are expected to take care of their in-laws. The ladies are not little care packages sent to take care of your family, your parents are your responsibility, the ladies have their own parents to take care of. 

What generally happens is people become part of an extended family, spend time with each other, show each other respect, get fond of each other and then want to spend more time with each other and then start caring for each other, which has happened with my sisters-in-law organically, but that scenario is different than someone being judged solely based on gender roles. Regressive thinking regarding women and gender roles prevails in the world, many times it is unconscious, it is so deep-rooted in our psyche that people don't even realize that they are being biased.

Example 4 - "You know Rasika, this X person cooks for 10 people every day, and also, she is not allowed to eat before her in-laws do, but she is managing it wonderfully. she is so courageous". 

When I heard those words I thought I had time traveled to the 1600s. I feel that on many occasions. Time travel would be fun but preferably to the future, and I am assuming humans have evolved in the future. 

So this X person was not allowed to eat at her own will. Just so you know..Even when she was pregnant. And she is called courageous for abiding by some stupid egomaniac people. 

Sacrificing, obedience, getting tortured, and yet not speaking a word against it, not standing up for yourself are not a courageous person's strengths they are a weak person's weaknesses. When it comes to women Don't glorify sacrifice and obedience, these very characteristics shackle them.

Example 5 - Ever heard any in-laws getting mad to see that their son was taking care of the household chores? I have seen this happening with many of my girlfriends. 

I find it quite weird when people complain ‘oh my son has to help her in the kitchen’. What that means is household chores are her responsibility and the husband has to help her. They both have full-time jobs, they both own a house, they both together made kids - tell me how is it her job to take care of all of it? These tasks are their responsibilities - together. He isn't helping her, he is just owning the fair share of his responsibilities.

I have heard many more examples of women being observed, judged, and criticized by their husband's family... for being different, for following different customs, habits, traditions, gods - and at times for not following any. 

I have a little Advice for the men - A friend once told me that her mother in law asks questions like "How was the party you went to yesterday? how does your new dress look?".

I asked her what was wrong with her asking those questions. And she said, " But I never told her that I bought a new dress or went to a party, 

So, Her husband was providing this trivial information to his mother. Here is the thing - DON'T DO THAT.

 

From what your wife wears to the status of her menstrual cramps, is her private information. you can not provide it to your parents just because you happen to know it. Unless you have her consent which is unlikely.

if you want to complain about her then find a friend, don't criticize her in front of your parents. She already has a strained relationship with them and you are going to strain it even further by complaining about her.

let your parents know clearly that you will not allow them to treat your wife shabbily or even with an authority. From what I hear, when a husband stands by his wife, nobody from his family bothers her. 

Advice for the women -

Stand up for yourself -

because not speaking about it is like giving them permission to behave badly with you. And then you will have to go on taking all that controlling, criticism and BS.

Know that as an adult, you get to decide when you eat, what you eat, where you stay when you visit India or how you share the household responsibilities with your partner. You have freedom of choice.

 

 

Advice for the Girl's parents: 

A friend’s mother told her that she needs to be strong, and that means don’t settle with any kind of torture by your in-laws or for that matter by anyone - but stand up against it. 

This is the kind of parent we should aspire to be. If your daughter is tortured emotionally, physically by her husband or in-laws, she is going to need support. And you will need to stand by her when she is standing up against cruelty.

Till today Thousands of women leave their husbands because they are tortured, some even brutally, at the hands of their in-laws, no need to say that a change in our mentality towards women needs to happen right away.

And I know there are extreme examples of women killed for dowry by inlaws but the examples I mentioned in this post are not trivial, they are equally important because we unnecessarily torture women on an emotional level, we deprive them of leading wholesome free lives by controlling them for irrelevant things and chip away at the quality of their life.

New video - the story of confirmation bias

 

Women and their cooking

Question 1 - If you get picked up at the airport by a man, you spend the night at his house, he orders a pizza for dinner, you eat, sleep and leave the next day, reach your home ... what will you tell about the man to your family?

Question 2 - If you get picked up at the airport by a woman, you spend the night at her house, she orders a pizza for dinner, you eat, sleep and leave the next day, reach your home ... what will you tell about the woman to your family?

Question 3 - If you get picked up at the airport by a family, you spend the night at their house, they order a pizza for dinner, you eat, sleep and leave the next day, reach your home ... what will you tell about the family to your family?

Here is a generalized answer sheet for these questions -

Answer 1 - the man was awesome, warm, and welcoming, he went out of the way to take care of me.

Answer 2 - the woman picked me up fine but you know what, she didn't even cook for me, she ordered pizza, oh how much did I miss home-cooked food.

Answer 3 - the family picked me up, the man has a beautiful house, but you know what, the woman didn't even cook for me, she ordered pizza, oh how much did I miss home-cooked food.

I personally have experienced being judged on my cooking enthusiasm and skills many many times. So it does not matter what I did for the guests they always complained behind my back saying she didn't cook for me.

It is expected of women that they are welcoming and warm by cooking for the guests, this is never an expectation from the men. I don't understand these kinds of people. Most of the new generation ladies do not have their hobby/pastime set as cooking, they do not even boast about their cooking skills and nor do I. But don't get me wrong, I eat, simple home-cooked, fresh food every day, I don't cook because I am a woman but because it is a good idea to eat home-cooked meals (at least 9/10). I do not like to cook, I am not a confident cook either so if there was a huge party of sorts then the biggest way I can help is by staying away from the kitchen, and guess what, I know many more ladies who are like me.

How many of you were told this phrase that 'the road to a man's heart goes through his stomach'.

If someone tells me that phrase then I tell them I would rather get to a person's heart through their brain, trust me many men have one. 

How many times have you been for a lunch/dinner party where women are in the kitchen while men are sitting outside in the living room, chatting away... I don't understand that... and I don't just sit there thinking why are the women cooking and men are sitting outside ... I go out and about and express it, speak about it, sometimes nicely and sometimes harshly, does not matter if people call me a madwoman, there are people who laugh at me and they don't even understand that the joke is actually on them.  orthodox/idiotic/regressive thought process is the laughable thing in today's times. 

It is high time the world changes, we are an advanced/intelligent species to be living with such idiotic customs. It is high time that we stop judging women based on if they cooked for us or not. 

Favorite City

 

I leave a piece of my heart in every city I visit. Every place I go, I visit it with a curious and an open mind. So far there hasn't been a city/ village/ town that I didn't like.

 

I feel connected to every other place in India, it will be another post if I want to write about India. Outside of India, my favorite city is London, because it is special. The first place that I visited outside India was London.

 

Switzerland is my favorite country because it is extremely scenic and I went there on my own, walked the streets on my own, somewhere deep down in hope that I will find my Raj there - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge hangover! No need to tell you that I didn't find any Raj but figured out that traveling alone is so much fun.

 

Seattle obviously is very close to my heart. There is no place on earth like Seattle, the emerald city. I have lived in quite a few places and Seattle is where I have lived for the longest... more than 12 years.

 

New York felt like oxygen. But Paris my friends, is magical. If I had to pick a city where I would like to go back and wander aimlessly and still stumble upon culture, history, museums and charming neighborhoods it would definitely be Paris. I have so much ground to cover on this earth, but I am adding Paris, and France for that matter (Nice, Antibe, Canne), to the 'must go back again' list.

New video - Best Biology Books

 

The business of spirituality- new video

 

Best Books by Dr Michio Kaku

 

The habit of reading books

 

Confirmation Bias

Confirmation bias is our tendency to cherry-pick information that confirms our 
existing beliefs or ideas. 

And how do we form beliefs and ideas?
Many of them are imbibed in us since childhood, our background, reading, upbringing, surroundings.

Confirmation bias is somewhat linked to our memories. 

We have a fondness for recalling evidence that backs up our beliefs. 

As Leo Tolstoy wrote:

The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he 
has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot 
be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that 
he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him.

Examples of confirmation bias are endless and are not just restricted to faith and religions. 

Take for example - Homeopathy
The multibillion-dollar homeopathy industry is an example of mass confirmation bias.
Homeopathy was invented by a French researcher studying histamines. 
He became convinced that as a solution of histamines was diluted, the effectiveness increased due to what he termed “water memories.” 
He was so certain of his hypothesis that he found data to confirm it and ignored

 that which did not. 

And the same thing applies for people using homeopathy. They will not read the
 research done by thousands of scientists all over the world to show that homeopathy is a fraud. 
They will read articles that support homeopathy and deny the fact 
that the medicine simply gives them a placebo effect.
Countries like India recognize an entire medical degree in Homeopathy. This just helps spread the confirmation bias.  

We would still be living in idiotic primeval times if no one was challenging the people in power who make decisions. 

Same applies on a personal level. If no one challenges our thought process then how does a person grow? How do we evolve? How do we come out of the bubbles of ideas that we are born and brainwashed into.
When we read/ listen/ discuss/ watch things that do not support our own beliefs
 is the time when we get a different perspective, and see the world through
 a new lens. 

And We all have confirmation biases. However small or big.

The complexity of confirmation bias arises partly from the fact that it is impossible to overcome it without an awareness of the concept.
 
If we talk about our beliefs then we need to think 
Do I just want to prove myself right in this conversation or Is it my confirmation 
bias that I need to work on?
The biggest confirmation bias I had was when it came to fitness and diet. 

I have seen my parents work out every day - doing yoga and going for walks. 

And so it was imbibed it in me unconsciously, that exercise is a part of our day

 like brushing our teeth and that those are the best forms of exercises.
 

My parents eat after every few hours, everything including sugar but in little quantities, And that is how I exercised and that is how I ate.

 

 If anyone said anything against it then I made sure to read more articles that supported my belief and sent them over to shut people up.
Why did I or anyone else does that?
 
because we would rather keep doing the same things that now have become a 
way of our life, they are convenient and are in our comfort zone.  Learning a 
new way means agreeing that what we and our parents and people around us did all their lives was wrong all along.And how can we let that happen? 
So we hold on to it even tighter when challenged. 

 
And then I happened to come across articles on intermittent diet, and how sugar is poison even if eaten in small quantity, and also about the importance of cardio, strength and HIIT - High Intensity Interval Training. 

 

So the point is we all need to sit down for a second and ask ourselves... 
why do I follow/ believe what I believe and how can I get another perspective 
on the matter? 

And I truly feel that we will find multiple things about ourselves, exercise and diet is just one example I told you about me, I still have a number of 
them and I am working on it... 
And I am not ashamed to admit it.
I am not one of those who says ‘this is how I am’ 

I am not.

 I will keep on changing.
Because I feel Becoming is more important than just being... 
 being is stagnant, becoming is evolving and evolving is the ultimate success
 of any human being, society, company or country.

Or is it just my confirmation bias talking? 
Maybe I got to ponder over that too. 

Wink. ;-)

Women, childbirth and their careers

After having a kid, were you advised that now it would be good if you let go of your job and focus on the family, marriage and child?

And some stupid comments like – the one who earns lesser should leave the job to take care of a child.

Due to historical advantages men obviously have more, they earn more. 

Till today the notion is it is women who need to sacrifice their ambition, dream, career and their financial independence. 

It is always a woman who takes a backseat after having children. Well, women scale back their career ambitions in order to focus on domestic matters – this inequality at home perpetuates inequality at work and also their salary. 

A man once said to me after watching my video 'the cooking chromosome' that - “men don’t cook because the one who earns less should take care of all house chores...” 

But Salaries are based on a bunch of factors.

Maybe the man is a doctor and the woman is a nurse, they both work equal hours, the doctor is obviously going to earn more but how do you define who worked more?

If you were hospitalized for a couple of days after your surgery then who would you remember when you go home? Doctor or nurse? I have always remembered the nurses…

They are the caregivers.

Maybe the man is a software engineer and his spouse is volunteering at an orphanage,

the man earns, the spouse doesn’t, but in the end who exactly has earned more? 

How do you define that? 

A person who earns more should not be responsible for the house chores - If you are saying that then you won’t stop there, this kind of person will also go on and say I will make all the decisions in this house because I earn more. 

That being said, sometimes bigger incomes are associated with more hours at work. In this case, I think the higher income earner should spend some of that money on a cleaning/ cooking service so there's less overall housekeeping to do for both of them.

And I feel every Working Mom Must Ask these questions Before Quitting their job -

Ask yourself, is this a choice I would make if I were the higher-earning partner whose career was prioritized? 

ask your partner: How can you equalize domestic labor and childcare?

Ask your employer for more support for caregiving employees or if you can take an unpaid leave of absence, or work part-time.

Don’t quit your aspirations due to societal pressures and the idiotic reasoning of who earns more gets to keep the job. If women quit jobs then the higher earning party will always be men!

Society is never happy, it doesn't matter what we do, and making them happy should not be our goal.

Roar - fresh perspectives on womanhood

 

Some More Movies...

The Grand Budapest Hotel - Liked it, I had a smile all along.

Banglore Days - A top notch simple ,smooth and sweet three hour drama dwelling in and out with emotions of love and friendship....

Moonrise kingdom - Strange, beautiful, innocent, funny, weird, and just an amazing amazing movie. Highly Recommended.

Shabdo - A very different Bengali movie which shows the trauma of a sound artist as he slowly gets disconnected from the humane sound to others......Great film, ambitious concept!!!

About Elly - What I like about Farhadi's films is he is not force feeding the audience with a set of preconceived notions, rather than asserting his own world vision he opens a space in which the audience get to be independent thinkers than being just consumers. About Elly is simple, elegant and yet incredibly complicated and tense. 

Katyar kalajat ghusali - This Marathi movie is all about, Music , FriendShip , Forgiveness , love , ego, Help , Anger , Hatred. This is a must watch movie and I hope it reaches an audience worldwide.

Bajirao mastani - Liked Bhansali's portrayal of the Peshwa reign.