Saturday, May 25, 2019

Illusion of perfection

We are all gauging each other's actions as per what we think is the right way to exist. Woven with intricate relationships we all are simply walking on pins and needles.

I try to survive on my own terms and focus all my energies on myself. I do not want to be someone else's 'version of existence or expectation or perfection'. I will stay true to myself, being myself no matter what. There is no perfection and there is no illusion of perfection either.

Saturday, May 18, 2019


Every other year I impose a shopping ban on myself. So I do not shop for even a hairpin in that year (I am obviously not talking about the essentials - such as groceries). The max I have gone with the ban is 3 years straight. I must tell you it is quite challenging, because there are temptations all around us. I get to try out many combinations in the ban periods and use everything that I have.

So why the ban? Because I cannot help but cringe over the materialistic world we have formed around us. We are all dwelling in excess. Believing in retail therapy more than believing in ourselves. Why do we feel we need to shop to feel happy? We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like. I am just trying NOT to be that person.

I have always been a big believer in savings. If you give me money, chances are I will straight away put it into my savings, planning for real estate investments. I didn't buy anything in 2018 and 2019 is a ban year too. Anyone interested in trying out the ban?

I do not condemn shopping, it builds and nourishes the economy. But here is a thought, in the good old days people got their clothes mended from tailors, shoes fixed from the cobbler, got small little parts of blender and stuff from the dingy little stores located in some tiny alleys - this all paid the small local businesses. Now the mentality is we are looking for something to go wrong with our stuff so that we can buy new stuff and throw away the old stuff.

So I say - I do not condemn shopping but I condemn the stigma attached to repeating clothes, needing something new to wear to every party, having things in the closet with their price tag on and yet complaining about having nothing to wear, throwing away stuff without even trying to get it fixed first and just mindless shopping for self-gratification or shopping for the sake of having-everything-everyone-else has.

That is why I follow a shopping ban every other year or so. I have enough stuff to mix- match - use, I think most of us do. Imposing a ban gives a break to the mind and forces you to make most of your existing closet, try to make things work. While sometimes the temptations try and take over your sanity but staying strong gives you a greater sense of achievement later. Not to mention the money and time you save you can spend on hobbies, activities, travel or may be go towards paying your loan.

If you are interested in pledging a shopping ban then -
Things that are banned:
- Clothes (all kinds!)
- Shoes
- Accessories/Jewelry
- Bags/Purses/Clutches
- Cosmetics
- Electronics/Gadgets and anything that is unnecessary

Things that are allowed:
- Food
- Water
- Home Supplies
- Medicines
- Toiletries (shampoo, soap, etc.)