I wouldn't want to know that kind of information from my immediate family too.
On Facebook, Instagram and other platforms we can choose the people we want to follow. And that too we get to see their posts if and when we login. No sweat.
With the advent of WhatsApp everyone who has our phone number can reach us. Not bad, as mostly people who are close to us have our phone number and communicating/ keeping in touch with good friends/ family members got so much easier. All good so far.
Then one day we are added to WhatsApp groups because someone suddenly realizes that 'hey we can have a group with everyone who we went to kindergarten with or went to college with'.
Then the list of groups we are part of keeps building up, the apartment complex where we live, the pilates/ dance and other classes that we go to, immediate family, cousins, friends from our old neighborhood... and the list goes on.
I was happy to be part of a few groups because planning got so much easier.
Coordinating for a dance performance that is coming up... planning a Diwali get-together with community friends, who is bringing what food, decoration everything planned without having to start an email chain and whatnot.
You know, I went to many schools as my father got transferred to a new town every 2 years. And I got added to all those school/ college/ neighborhood groups.
And the downside of being part of WhatsApp groups - forwards, good morning messages, and again people sharing too much irrelevant information that does not interest us - such as dogs!
I couldn't keep up with the information overload. Also, those were friendships based on the love and memories that we shared in the past, with nothing common in the present moment, nothing that I could connect on in the present moment (same applies to many relatives too, by the way).
So, I exited many groups.
And WhatsApp has no graceful way to handle someone exiting a group. It announces to the whole group - 'Rasika Mahabal left the group'. And then we can have some answering to do on private messages - as to why we left the group.
Now that being said, I still remained part of some groups.
And I don’t know if everyone has experienced this, but slowly I realized the vicious nature of group chats. WhatsApp groups are the new battlegrounds.
And the fights/ arguments happening on WhatsApp are about opinions. From political party to belief system.
I mean I have left a couple of groups when I realized that the group members were racist, Islamophobic, misogynistic, homophobic. And I felt ashamed of myself for ever being associated with such people.
And I wondered why didn't I see that side of them before? What is it with WhatsApp conversations that brings out the true colors of people?
Why wouldn't they discuss such sensitive topics in-person and why are they taking out all their frustration in WhatsApp chats? Why has it become a cauldron of heated discussions?
On Instagram and FB people have this hunky-dory image that they carry but since we have WhatsApp groups with people we are already very familiar with all the guards are off, everything goes unfiltered.
WhatsApp groups have become a hub of political campaigning, fake news forwards, demeaning political jokes, online bullying, and intolerance leading to hatred.
But we need to remember that when we talk about sensitive topics WhatsApp is not the right medium... as the person reading the messages has no way to find out the tone of our messages.
One could very well be joking about something and it can be misconstrued.... you want to discuss something sensitive - pick up the phone... because us spending hours on group chats to convince people about our opinions on some political party is no use...they are not going to change their opinions, the only thing that can be achieved through such group chats is fights...
I have a strict rule to be a part of WhatsApp groups now...I am part of them if they are strictly related to planning things -
"hey, going biking, anyone wants to join... what time do we meet?" .... and that kind of conversation.
But it all comes down to the basics...and these are serious questions we need to ask ourselves. What is the need for heated topics on WhatsApp groups?
Why continue spreading poison through relationships over disagreements of opinions…. It's time for us all - to introspect.
Introspect... what purpose do we want to use WhatsApp groups for, how do the discussions and showing disagreements on these groups help us and the other person... if we want to change their mind then is a group chat the right medium to do that?
And what points are important to make or break relationships. For example, for me - I can't take misogynistic, racist shit, in-person or on WhatsApp. And I am sure you all have breaking points... but just try to think can it be a disagreement over political party? Can it be a disagreement over what brand you use?
And I am assuming that we all have experienced it that people break relationships even with family members over a heated discussion over a political party that happened on a WhatsApp group!
So, what if they support a political party that we do not like? Is politics above relationships?
Why can't we keep WhatsApp groups a happy and mostly a useful place?
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