The Cooking Chromosome

“Rasikaaaa how will you find a husband if you don’t know how to cook?”

a man once asked me out of concern. 

I panicked, I didn’t know it was a prerequisite to get married.

And I was so angry with my parents because, well,

they always told me to make a career, make a living, be independent but

never told me to learn how to cook.

A woman once told me “Rasika, You better learn how to cook,

because the way to a man’s heart goes through his…. stomach,”

yes, she said stomach, I don’t know what you were thinking. 

A way to a man’s heart goes through his stomach, you must

have heard that before. I obviously ignored her as who even wants

to marry such a shallow person whose heart revolves around

his stomach?

I think you get the gist of what I am trying to say. 

I often wonder why is there so much pressure on women to cook? 

I wondered if women are born with a cooking gene? It can not be

genetic for sure, because I and many women I know are

definitely not born with that gene. So I thought it must be some

sort of brainpower that can only be acquired by women?

Like you know, learning multiple languages is not

everyone’s cup of tea. But It can not be that too because most of the

rich and famous chefs around the world are men. So there is

neither a cooking gene nor a cooking chromosome.

So I don’t know why women are socialized to see

cooking as their role? The problem with gender roles is that it

prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are.

It prescribes what we should be doing rather than recognizing

what we want and do not want to do.

today women are pilots, doctors, engineers, scientists, police,

construction workers, astronauts, teachers. Women have

reached everywhere, but what is it about men that they

are not able to reach a room called a kitchen in their very own house?

I always thought that at this age We should celebrate

being women and having the opportunities to do things that our

grandmothers and great-grandmothers were not allowed to do.

Though now, of course, I realize that women are expected to do

the cooking, cleaning, childcare, chores along with their ambitions…

It is disheartening to see this happen. 

Men should be able to Realize that women are burdened with a lot,

they are equally tired as you are, they are equally looking for a

break as you are, and I am not even talking about equality here,

but it is basic humanity. 

Also, I feel Going to restaurants, having frozen food is not the

solution to this problem,  it won’t let you create better health and

body for yourself and your family. Fresh home-cooked food every

day for kids is going to build them a strong health foundation. 

This is 2019 and if you still think that it is a woman’s job to

cook, then you have some deep-rooted issues and it is high time

you address them. 

Now obviously there are many men who cook because many

people evolve, advance and progress with time, age and with the world.

But I have often seen that when a man cooks his wife’s attitude

is judged, their relationship is questioned. 

What I don’t understand is Why do people even notice it when men

are cooking? See, I do not like to cook but it is an important life skill that I had to acquire for better health.  

And what I have realized is cooking is comparatively an easy skill

to acquire, as long as you can see, have hands and can read and

follow basic instructions called recipes, you are good to go.

And many Men are intelligent enough to acquire these simple skills. 

So Why isn’t it still seen as perfectly normal and natural that

a man cooks, takes care of his own child, and takes care of chores

around his own house? 

There is nothing derogatory about cooking.

The ability to feed and nourish oneself and one’s family is

quite a noble task. So if a man is being responsible then

why is this behavior condemned?

Do you think that it is unmanly to cook?

I think it’s unmanly not to be able to cook. Because if you really

want to go for the archaic gender definitions then a man spends

time with his family, a man is independent, a man is healthy and

strong and a man provides for himself and others. 

History tells us that cooking is a woman’s job.

But what we do today is also going to be history for

the next generations, let's create an evolved history for them.

Let our kids see mothers and fathers both cook in the kitchen.  

And next time you see a man cook, remember that there is

nothing wrong with his wife’s attitude, or their relationship.

In fact, men who cook live in happy marriages because there is

less stress, better health, more family time, and more energy

left to do whatever they want to do.