Saturday, November 02, 2013

Gossip girl

*Points marked with * are not to be taken lightly ;-)
--Names are changed in this post.

From the horse's mouth:
In a huge vacant public restroom a friend and I talked about Lata and how bad her behavior was. We were loud and clear, well not louder than the flush sound that we heard from a corner. To our astonishment Lata came out from there, not showing any sign to have heard us. 

Lessons learned -
1. *Never gossip in a restroom, closed doors may have ears.
2. *VOLUME - keep it low.
3. When people hear opinions about them this way they change their behavior, well yes, it gets worse.

No need to mention - it breaks relations
Word of mouth:
I knew something about a relative, I wanted to spill it out to someone. I chose to chat about it to a school friend who sat next to me and who knew nothing about him. I told her 'I saw my relative Chandu with a girl, he is good looking and I think he must be having a lot of affairs'. A girl who sat on the front bench turned and asked 'Are you talking about Chandu who lives in bungalow Nandu?' I was stunned, how did she know Chandu in the whole wide Pune (that too it was his pet name), those were not even Facebook days...

Any smart person would have replied 'No, I am talking about Chandu from Agra'. My dumb reply was 'How the hell do you know him?'

As a true Punekar she found it her responsibility to let Chandu know about my opinion (which otherwise would have died with me and my friend). This of course didn't go well with him. A childish yak then got out of proportion reactions and a couple of relatives stopped talking to me.

Lessons learned - 
1. *LOCATION!  it is very important where you gossip, no unintended listener should be around.
2. True or false, big or small, good or bad - gossip does not go well with people. In the end you will be tagged as a blabbermouth. 
3. How not to react if I ever heard gossip about me - If you are self confident about who you are and what you are doing there is no need to react harshly, unless of course if there is something to hide. People engaged in name calling gossip are immature and I am no less if I react to it badly.
4. If I ever hear someone passing stupid remarks about say Rita then I will not act foolish by letting Rita know about it.

GAH and the fact remains  - it breaks relations.
Nita, Prit, Sita gossiped about Nita, Prit, Sita (of course in each other's absence) with me. Before knowing any of them really well my mind was already poisoned. I had high regard for Sita so I would try to convince Nita and Prit how good Sita was. In one such session Prit got angry and said why do you always take Sita's side I have heard it from Manish that she said such and such things about you. 

Lessons learned - 
1.  *Now I can gossip about Sita guilt free. Yey!
2.  People who gossip with you -  gossip about you in your absence, there is no loyalty here.
3.  It doesn't really feel good to hear bad things said behind your back from someone who is dear or important to you.

Can not stress more - it breaks relations.

Gossip girl title does not imply men are not gossipmongers
In my opinion people gossip to feel superior, out of jealousy or revenge, because they are puerile or then simply out of boredom. 
The good gossip:
The other day BFF and I discussed about gossiping's side effects - how it brings unhappiness to us/others and that it breaks relations. It was a thought provoking conversation... followed by some chit chat about rest of the world. Its good that she and I are on the same page - we both think what we do is venting and not gossiping which is good for our health. Whatever we talk about stays between us since 20 years.

They say gossiping deepens bonds with friends, gives an outlet to your frustrations/ bad or good experiences and opinions.
People who have nothing worthy to talk, read or write about also engage in celebrity gossip.

Anyway, sooo....what is happening with Ranbir and Katrina these days.....?

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