Feeling alive: Chirping of birds, the crowded bazaars, hawkers screaming in the morning, cows sitting in the middle of the road; everyone trying to pass without disturbing them, the whistles of pressure cooker, smell of curries, ‘colorful’ people and the big fat festivals, children playing cricket anywhere and everywhere, the nonstop activities happening around all day long.
Life ‘in your face’ that gets tiring but never boring.
Belonging : I miss the instant connection and comfort that I feel when I see anyone even on the road and instinctively knowing the cultural connection. The sense of belonging makes me want to make a difference (in a way that I can’t being away).
Family : I want to be close to the family. It is not going to come with a hassle-free guarantee but which worthwhile thing ever does?
Miscellaneous : Food for vegetarians which doesn’t get better than in India, maids - not having to do dishes ever again. I want to be surrounded more by people than machines.
Why I want to stay back here in the US?
Calm and peace: much needed after a hectic day, big houses in quiet areas. American suburbs have spoilt me.
Work culture: absolutely amazing work culture which is hard to find in India.
Facilities: infrastructure, quality and ease with day to day stuff that this country has to offer.
People: honesty, orderliness, discipline, attention to detail, patience and non interfering attitudes of people, smiles and greeting even by strangers.
Very important for me: Huge libraries, easy and secured access to hiking/ biking trails and national parks, easy availability of international cinema and television, quality theaters where watching 3D films is a pleasure.
Miscellaneous: customer service, availability of variety of cuisines, driving in marvelous cars on beautiful roads where people follow all traffic rules, oh and of course Jcrew.
The decision would have been easy if I didn’t love US the way I do. Living out of India gives people a reality check. Exposure to the hassle free life makes one less tolerant of the ugly realities that are a part of everyday India.The questioning must be making a lot of you uneasy and the longer we stay the harder it will get to go back.
Should I make any more friends here? Should I buy this product? Would I be able to take and use this it in India if I ever move back? Yes, many decisions would be affected until I am clear about the question.
For here or to go?
2 comments:
Part 1 of 2:
I have wrangled with this exact same dilemma a million times and logically, with every iteration, it should get easier to decide. But on the contrary, the decision only gets harder.
Belonging: Even with the wild number of "cultures" in India, there's something common connecting us, which is hard to put a finger on. There's something non-tangible yet invaluable that we all share with (pardon my exaggeration!) OUR people.
Family: Nothing beats that! Even if you are in a different state/city, you are still very close. No figuring out visa expiration, renewals and stamping, none of that nonsense. Just hop in a car/bus/train/flight and you are with your family. Or the family can join you if you yourself can't travel!
Food: This is one of the biggest complaint I have with the PNW, Seattle-area in particular. Even Oregon and Vancouver-BC has better AND mind-blowing vegetarian Indian food. Seattle-area (Redmond/Bellevue), in spite of having high concentration of Indian vegetarians, doesn't offer decent Indian vegetarian options. Most new veg restaurants go belly-up within a few months.
Maids: this is the only thing I disagree with you on :-)
While it sounds "great" it is just that, "sounds" great. In reality, maids bring their own drama to the table! More or less, they control you ;-) You rotate around their schedule, (near unlimited) unpaid vacation, erratic time and worst of all that dreaded last-minute call/text that will stop any mom cold in her tracks: "I won't be able to come in today!". And dare you get cross with one maid, you'll have a hard time getting good maid again ;-)
But, for some people the convenience of having a maid is worth all of that!
Work culture: One very stark quality I notice in people here is the work-life separation they achieve. (most) People here are excellent at doing that. It is totally acceptable for an employee here to say "I cannot do this today because of ---insert family duty/obligation--- today" and there is no negative consequence to doing that.
Infrastructure: This is something they nailed it early on: roads, public benefits (libraries esp!), city/state parks, Nationals Parks... we just don't have an equivalent for this back home! National Forests/Parks are just exceptional with clean and well-stocked facilities.
Part 2 of 2:
One one thing where this country falls on its face wrt infrastructure is: banking and telecom. India, esp. in last 5 years or so has leapfrogged USA by decades! And sadly, US will never match up to India in that regards (just look at government backed UPI, (almost) rampant competition in telecom market).
Another thing is the Medical system, it is something right out of Stephen King's horror movie! The system scares the sh!t out of me! And it is not getting any better. We are medically secure ONLY as long as we are employed, after that, God help us! That is why people here tend to work AS LONG AS humanly possible, so they don't have to foot the bill for medical-extortion.
I say, judge a country by how they treat their military veterans, pretty good indicator for country's long-term health priorities.
Conclusion: What I have realized and started doing is... see where I want to be 5-10-15 years from now. When do I want to retire and what will be my must-haves and good-to-haves during that journey or at the destination (retirement). While we cannot predict what USA or India will be like 5-10-15 yrs from now, what I like to do is think things will remain the same (not better, nor worse) and see which place best serves my needs.
A Big But: It still never gets easy! Because at the end of the day, more often than not, this always turns out to be an emotional decision and not a logical one (esp. the longer you stay here). So, for better or worse, no about of analysis will conclusively help us decide one way or the other :-) We will be better equipped to handle this even if we just accept this fact and treat it as such!
Wish you all the best in your quest!
Keep sharing your insights.
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