The in-laws problem!

 

Women and Work Places

How many times have you refused to work late at office only because you didn’t want to get back home alone in a cab ? 

When I worked in India our team used to have a call with the Canadian customer at 8 pm.

 

The whole team was required to be in the office for that call. I didn't attend it.
Why you ask... I was scared of traveling alone at night. I felt it involved a high risk of being kidnapped, molested or being raped and killed. 

My manager at the time reprimanded me for not attending the call so I had to ask one of my male colleagues, who I trusted completely, to drop me home after the call.

Women should be able to step into public transport whenever they want to - if we consider this as a sign of equality in any place then we are going in the opposite direction.

How many times have you asked a male friend to drop you back home as it was too late in the night ?

I have done it innumerable times, whenever I was out after 8pm I asked male friends to drop me home - in India.

If you demand equality at a work place, make sure to stay up late just like the men. Do not give the excuse of family or being a woman to be allowed to go back early. Do you agree? 

I don't. Most work-places and work-timings have evolved to the needs of men who have been working all along, and hence they are suited for men. Most of the bachelors in my company worked till 11pm, even though they did not work, they stayed back to show they were available and because they had nothing better to do in their life. This creates a bad environment for women to work in. The higher management needs to take an action in such cases as being available can not be a criteria for promotion, job security or recognition.

 

Indian men (married men and fathers) have a support system in place which makes working conditions convenient for them. They have a spouse who cooks, packs tiffin (I have seen women pack their husband's travel bags too!), takes care of the children and the elderly. Men are able to travel easily too because the spouse takes care of the home and family.

Indian women, specially married women,  generally do not have this support system. They are expected to make sure that the working man is not inconvenienced when they pick up paid-jobs. So for most women today, entering into a marriage and having kids seems like a bad career move.

It is high time women protest against this, ask men to take care of equal responsibilities at home, every woman standing up against the norms is going to help change the culture and working conditions for women.

The work places need to evolve. It’s mutual need.  Jobs need workers and  the new age workers have different needs. 

If we do not create work-places that make it possible for parents to work, we will make it difficult for the the coming generations (specially women) to choose to have children. It’s happening in Europe and Australia already.  Women should not have to choose between self-reliance and motherhood/marriage- because then they might be forced to choose self reliance.

The society needs to make sure that marriage and motherhood do not deprive half the population of self reliance, happiness, safety, good-health, respect, dignity, freedom and equality.

Birthright

What perplexes me the most is what holds women back from conveying our point of view? Why do we complain about 'unfair treatment' but never make an effort to achieve equality in every relationship?

Is financial independence required to gather courage? Is it even valid to say I earn so treat me as an equal? It is the birthright of every individual of all genders, races, and castes to be treated square.

Waste of time

Do we have a constant need to categorize things that we do as productive and unproductive? The heart says read fiction and the brain says 'read non-fiction that is productive'.

I crave to experience those childhood days again when life was innocent, had no responsibilities, had nothing to prove and I felt ecstatic over non-materialistic things. I would spend hours making paper boats and looking at them move in a pond from one end to the other. I did it goal-free and guilt-free. No one (including my brain) had opinions on how I spent my time. 

 'You read a lot, looks like you have a lot of time to waste' someone said. 

It is amazing to see people who have figured out what 'waste of time' is while I am still contemplating what 'time' means...When the whole existence and time in itself seems to be a waste of time :-) It exists with no purpose, goal, meaning... and it is going to end without any achievements, accolades, or even anyone to remember that it was there. 

I think you get the gist.

Stranger anxiety

I do not have an ounce of stranger anxiety. When I am at parties/ around new people - on most occasions I end up talking to everyone around and often get asked: "Do you know them?"

And I wonder why would I want to know someone to talk to them? To think of it, for me, it is the other way round... I can easily talk to people I don't know but if I am not talking to someone means I know them too well :-)

I think you get the gist ;-)

Great songs

When you lose someone and you know you are never going to get them back
When you know you are going to spend the rest of your life walking around with a hole in your heart 
Asking yourself do I even wanna be here
That’s the kind of pain great songs are made of

Quit like a woman...