Idiot Box: Part 9

Travelers

It is a time travel show that is very light on science. Hundreds of years in our future, humanity is endangered and the survivors have learned to send their consciousness into their past, the 21st century. They then take over people’s bodies in order to carry out missions that will hopefully prevent humankind’s tragic fate. It is fun and freaky. 4/5.

American Vandal
American Vandal is a comedy series that satirizes true-crime shows. While most such shows are built around murders, the crime in this case is vandalism: penises are spray-painted on a row of teacher's cars. Those penises are shown over and over again and discussed at length, in silly ways, of course. Despite the language and vulgarity, this series is pretty sharp, sending up true-crime reportage by imitating it. Very different and off-beat show. 4/5.

Broadchurch
LOVED the first season and then it just got boring and tiring from season 2 onwards. 2/5.


Classic Legends/ Golden Years By Javed Akhtar
This documentary series explores the glamour of Bollywood through the stories of the men and women who have illuminated its screens. And as the name suggests it is based on the classic (black and white era) legends and the golden years of Bollywood. 5/5.

Mindhunter
This show is about serial killers, their mentality and why they do what they do. How does the police find out clues/ patterns if the murder was committed by serial killer and who his/her next victim will be. There is more chatter than splatter on the show (unlike Dexter). I found it just too slow, however it is a very well reviewed and received show. 2/5.

The Five
A thriller that has many cupboards all filled with skeletons, if you know what I mean. 4/5.

About Food...

1. Chew your food: eat and not swallow your food. The more you chew, the more satisfied you would be by the end of your meal. It also helps in digestion and absorption of nutrients.
2. Serve smaller portions. Eat often but lesser portions. Eat every 2 hours.
3. Eat Fruits, Nuts and Veggies. 
4. Fill your kitchen with healthy snacks. I don't keep any chips/soda/chocolates and such at home to avoid temptation.
5. Learn to say No! - My mother has a rule - finish whatever is served on the plate, which I followed for many years. Now, if I am full I put the leftover in the fridge. I have learned to say No. To myself and to others too. Once you are full, you are full, no matter what...and that is the only rule one should follow.

Idiot Box : part 8

You can see the earlier parts here - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Black Mirror
More seasons of Black Mirror are out and it is at its best, it provokes discussion, though often less about technological developments and more about the fallibility of human nature. 5/5.

Stranger Things
Stranger things is definitely the best Netflix original. There are only 8 episodes in each season, it has a terrific sense of mystery, the nostalgia of 80s is glorious, the casting is superb, humor and thriller is mind boggling. 5/5.

Dark
Originally a German series that you can watch with English subtitles. There are a lot of characters to keep track of in this show, which is one of the key challenges in the initial episodes, it inevitably sucks you in regardless. Dark is a mystery-box show through and through, complete with secrets and surprising twists and cliffhangers that put a cap on each episode while enticing you to immediately open the bottle of the next one. But at the same time it is a complicated story, just hang in there for the first few episodes and everything will start to make sense. 5/5.

Death in paradise

As with many cop procedurals there's an element of 'comfort food' about Death in Paradise. You know what you're going to get: the murder, the impossibility, the dogged legwork by the police officers, and then – usually just as it seems the case is uncrackable – the Detective Inspector sees or hears something that sparks a synapse or two… and he knows who did it. Gathering all the suspects in the best way, he explains it all. Chances are pretty good that if you're concentrating, you can get there ahead of the team – the way the murders are filmed nearly always contains some important clue – but even if you're half-asleep, you're led by the hand through the evidence. 4/5.

Planet Earth

This is a must watch show. Filmed on animals, jungles, rainforests, deserts and pole to pole, it just makes one realize how beautiful planet earth is and how we are destroying it. 5/5.

Indian Superfoods : Rujuta Diwekar

All my life when I looked around I felt a disconnect with the world. Fancy diets, calorie counting, don't eat this/ that, hours long workouts... I did not understand the necessity of all this. I eat small quantities after every few hours, I eat simple, homemade, Indian and fresh food, I eat ghee, rice, coconut everyday, I can not have a salad for a dinner, I can have khichadi for dinner but not salad (as the fad goes). I spend 60 minutes everyday on exercise, nothing more than that.

And when I looked around I thought 'my grandmother never followed any such diets, she ate simple and lived simple and didn't have to see a doctor all her life, why are there so many fads, who should I follow? my grandmother/ mother or the world? There are new scientific discoveries, may be my grandmother didn't know about them, but then I see that she lived a healthy life and maintained an awesome lean figure'.

And then one day I started reading and following Rujuta Diwekar and it dawned on me that my grandmother is and has always been right.  There was no looking back for me after that, I read all of Rujuta's books, she saved me from feeling confused, pulled me out of my quandary. Did Rujuta Diwekar turned me into a follower of my grandmother's lifestyle? No! I always followed it, all I needed was an affirmation that I am on the right path, the path of logic and simplicity, and she provided me with that affirmation.

Overall I feel Indian food is a superfood and in the book 'Indian Superfoods' Rujuta lists the superfoods of the superfood.

I highly recommend her books.

Book Reviews 2017.9

Reviewing the books that I read in 2017.

40. Replay - Ken Grimwood
Different concept, well written, loved it, definitely one of the best sci-fi books 5/5

41. Life with Jeeves - P.G. Woodhouse
It contains Right Ho, Jeeves; The Inimitable Jeeves; and Very Good, Jeeves. Jeeves, that noiseless provider of deliverance from the hangover, a bird of the ripest intellect, calm and wise enough to rescue Bertie and his pals from the most fearful scrapes. 5/5.

42. Dark Matter - Blake Crouch
If you have read other books by Blake (wayward pines) then the start of this book would be deja vu, people waking up in labs/ hospitals, not knowing where they are. After the start you need to be open and acceptable enough to read about scientific theories which are not proven yet ( and maybe they never will) , for the span of this book just assume those theories are true and once you do that the book is absolutely amazing. 4.5/5.

43. Mum on the Run - Fiona Gibson
Liked the story, did not like the whiny characters. 3/5.

44. Gilead - Marilynne Robinson
Gave up after 3rd chapter. Too much about Christianity, familial bonds, religion, prayers and stuff. 1/5.

45. The Inimitable Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse
The adventures of Bertie Wooster and Jeeves are narrated by Wodehouse with his natural flair and brilliantly fun-filled manner. P.G. Wodehouse yet again shows off his comic genius in this timeless funny classic. 5/5.

46. One Plus One - Jojo Moyes
I do not like Jojo Moyes' stories and this definitely is the last book of hers that I read. 1/5.

47. Ana and the french kiss - Stephanie Perkins 48. The Testament - John Grisham
Gave up both books half way.

49. A briefer history of time - Stephen Hawking
There are better books in science genre. 3/5.

Book Reviews 2017.8

Reviewing the books that I read in 2017.

36. Why does the world exist? An existential Detective Story - Jim Holt
The question why is there a world rather than nothing at all? remains the darkest and most enduring of all metaphysical mysteries. Jim Holt enters this fractious debate with his lively and deeply informed narrative that traces the latest efforts to grasp the origins of the universe. He leaves us with the question Stephen Hawking once asked but couldn't answer, ‘Why does the universe go through all the bother of existing?’. 4/5.

37. Harry Potter and the cursed child: parts 1 and 2 - John Tiffany
Before you start reading this book, separate your mind from the fact that this is going to be an exemplary continuation of the previous seven books. Aside from being a play, this books is also a more mature, character-driven, less magical story. I liked it. 3.5/5.

38. The first fifteen lives of Harry August - Claire North
Replay is a great book with a similar storyline, I highly recommend Replay but did not like The first fifteen lives of Harry August. 2/5.

39. Very Good, Jeeves! - P.G. Wodehouse
"Very Good, Jeeves" is a collection of 11 short stories featuring everyone's favorite valet ("a personal gentleman's gentleman," as Jeeves describes himself) and the ongoing scrapes of Mr. Bertie Wooster. In each story, either Bertie or one of his friends and relatives is in a bind, and fortunately for everyone, Jeeves is always there to advise and set things right. 5/5.

Book Reviews 2017.7

Reviewing books that I read in 2017.
31. When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi
What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir. 4/5.

32. Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse
Wondering what Wodehouse smoked before writing books. Pu la deshpande once mentioned that p g is his guru, after reading this book I had say there is no doubt about it, outrageous, hilarious and the best book in Bertie Jeeves series.

33. The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad - Twinkle Khanna
This was an easy read, a movie is also made on this book. Liked it. 3.5/5

34. Indian Superfoods - Rujuta Diwekar
It is interesting that yoga became cool only when the West embraced it. This book made me realize that billions of Indians are doing the same about food...blindly following trends of the West. I am not saying that everything that comes out of west is 'evil' (I mean, I'm writing this because of the West). But sometimes, it is nice to question what we have been taught. In my family I have seen my grandparents, parents living a healthy life with trim figures, how did they manage to do that? they don't follow any trends, dietitians or nutritionists. We already know the science, it is passed on to us from so many generations. Indian food is superfood, I have always been a believer of that. Loved Loved Loved this book. Highly recommended. 5/5

35. Kosla - Bhalachandra Nemade
I have the same feeling as I had for Catcher in the Rye (Kosla is 'inspired' by it). WTF did I just read? Nemade has received a Padma Shri and is a well renowned writer. You can give this book a try if you want, and let me know how it goes :). 2/5.

Book Reviews 2017.6

Reviewing books that I read in 2017.

26. Keys to Great Writing - Stephen Wilbers
From grammar rules to revision strategies, you'll find the crucial information you need in short, easy-to-browse sections that enable you to hone your own signature writing approach. 3/5.

27. Red Rising - Pierce Brown
Gave up half way, dystopian future... not my genre, otherwise the book has very good ratings.

28. The Great Escape - Fiona Gibson
Gibson's stories are about really mundane things like in mum on the run - a mother of 3 decides to start running every
day and lose some weight, in this book 3 friends meet after a long time and how it changes their lives in small possible ways. I love the way Gibson develops the scenes and the plot, there isn't a moment when I feel bored when reading her books, she has a good writing style. 4/5.

29. The Whistler - John Grishm
Predictable, boring, expected better from Grisham. 2/5.

30. Behind closed doors - B.A. Paris
It is a fast-paced, pulpy read that plays with your emotions without ever making you think too hard. I could not put it down. 4/5.

Socially Accepted Sexism - New Video

Lucky Basta**s!

I do not envy anyone, not anymore, not after junior college. I am content with all I have or don't have. I am willing to work hard to accomplish what I want so there is no reason to envy.

But lately, I have started feeling envious of some writers who have the power to express freely.

I want to be a loose cannon when writing, I want to write whatever comes to my mind without thinking twice and I was going to when I started this blog because I never expected anyone would read it :-)

But slowly that changed and now hundreds (I was gonna say millions but that would be the height of exaggeration) following my blog and judging me on the basis of the mere two paragraphs that they read here ... in spite of not having met me in years ... or even worse, have never met me in life but somehow found my blog. Maybe they think I am this deep serious person or probably a vain person spending time on clothes.

This is where I wonder don't other writers/ bloggers ever have such problems? How do they manage to give explicit access to people who might be on their blogs just for gossip and not necessarily the content, or may be judging them, falling in love or hate with them... and how do the bloggers provide opinions, information without worrying about who will be hurt in the process? How do they write without feeling scared of being misread/ misinterpreted/ misrepresented?


Those are the writers whom I envy.  Lucky Basta**s!

Book Reviews 2017.5

Reviews of books that I read in 2017 -

21. Right Ho, Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse
P. G. Does it again, situational comedy at its best, I am giving it 4 stars as my man Jeeves does not appear in most scenes, I want more of him. Can not wait to read the next in this series. 4/5.

22. The Best of Me - Nicholas Sparks
Gave it half way. That says it all.

23. Bridge to Terabithia - Katherine Peterson
This is more like a kid's book that is written for kids (unlike Harry Potter which everyone enjoys). 2/5.

24. An unsuitable boy - Karan Johar
Do not like his movies but loved his autobiography. 4/5.

25. The Colossus Rises - Peter Lerangis
I volunteer at a library and the colossus rises is a superhit book amongst the school children, I picked it up out of curiosity. After reading it I am wondering if the school children specially under 10 really understand this book. There are many elements that are hard to understand. It is a 3 book series, the story doesn't end in this part but I am not too keen on reading the next one, I give it 3 stars.

Time?

Do we have time? Or is it time that has us?

Delirium

In many parts of the world, women are distinctly seen as inferior sub-humans, who should stay confined at home, behind a veil, cook, produce children, take care of the in-laws and entertain their husbands. 

It becomes intolerable for men with male chauvinist mindsets when young women begin to challenge such stereotypes by stepping out and surpassing them in education and employment and by asserting their independence, opinions, financial freedom and demanding equal treatment.

Some men do not even stand close to the merit, strength, intelligence or grace of the women in their life and yet they live in a delirium of being a better species. Tch. Tch.

People Pleaser

It is human nature to want to fit-in, to belong, to be part of the ‘in’ crowd. A lot of you would accept (at least to yourself) that you are people pleasers.

I, amongst many others that I know, do not spend time pleasing people because

1. I am okay with being disliked,

2. People have bizarre kinds of expectations and objections, even though they never are up to the mark themselves. I am sure you have been through situations where you thought that people can have such nonsensical expectations and objections? I will give you one example, I took my own blankets and pillow to someone's house for a sleepover, because I wasn't sure if they would have enough for so many guests coming over to their house that too in winter. Can you guess what the host gossiped about me... that I carried my own blankets, while they should have been happy that I was considerate. I till today laugh at the whole thing... how bizarre can people's objections and observations be... It in a way shows how people need to grow up.

Anyway, the point is it is impossible to please all the people all the time, and some negative people can never be pleased whatever you do, a lot of people lack empathy. We should rather do our own thing and some will be pleased, at least some of the times ;-). 

If everyone likes you, then someone is definitely lying to you :) Do not feel the need for anyone’s approval and be undeterred by people’s opinions. Be clear about what you like and dislike, the kind of people you would want to meet and not meet. 

There are so many better things one can do with the time that they have, be it as trivial as taking a nap.…or read/write/paint or be around amazing people than to spend time fulfilling bizarre expectations.

As they say ‘You can not be afraid to not be liked. This fear limits you from being ALL of you’. I just want to live being me and be able to do things according to the circumstances and situations in life without being worried about what people are expecting from me or what are they objecting about. 

I do not have any intention of wasting this short presence on earth thinking about trivial objections, life is so vast, so BIG, there is so much one can do with time. I feel being a people pleaser restricts us from creating what we want to create and do what we want to do.

Expectations!

I have the least possible expectations of people. It doesn't mean I have given up on mankind. It only means that I like to give everyone some space to be whoever they want to be and whatever they want to do. It is not easy but not impossible either. 

Every time I feel a 'grudge' or 'bitterness' growing inside me, for someone failed me or didn't live up to my expectation, I tell myself 'everyone is doing the best they can!', I also like to cut people some slack, for example, if I am visiting someone and they are not welcoming enough or not the perfect hosts then I understand and say 'it's okay, they have kids to take care of and busy, stressful lives to be asking for attention.' I don't whine about it.

There is already so much stress in life, simply to even exist, why add to the drama with unnecessary expectations? The problem arises when people do not realize that they themselves were never up to the mark and express their grudge against you for not living up to their expectations - meaning they would expect a birthday card from you even though they themselves never wished you on your birthday. Lame example. But that is how lame expectations are.

Anyway, I think you get the gist, before you blame people for not doing something, ask yourself if you had done anything for them, also cut some slack - people go through ups and downs, depression, sickness, newborns, crazy work schedules, various phases and basically people have issues that you don't know about - think from their perspective before you jump to conclusions - give them benefit of doubt. It will give you some peace of mind...

My New Video - The Cooking Chromosome

Joke

(Do not want to portray women as stereotypical. I am sharing a joke, take it for what it is)

A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother that he has fallen in love and that
he is ready to get married.

He says, "Just for fun,  Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and
guess which  one I'm  going to marry."  The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them
down on the couch and they all chat for a while. He then  says, "Okay Ma, guess
which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The Indian mother replies, "I don't like her." 

What makes us happy?

They are right when they say happiness is just a state of mind. And yet I do feel agitated, anxious, stressed, sad and unhappy at times, over the years I have figured out six things that keep me in my default happy status -

1. First and foremost is good health. If I have bad health, I stop being myself, I stop enjoying anything that goes around me. Any ailment, however trivial, deducts from my happiness. So I work hard on staying healthy - as much as I can. Bad health is also a waste of time... already in our short lifespan.
2. Second is, being able to earn. Working and mainly earning for myself gives me a sense of pride, joy, and confidence. I saw a shift in my personality after I finished my masters and started earning. I have seen this happening with other people as well, shy and introvert-ish people start walking with an erect spine as soon as they start earning.
3. Money, in general, does provide happiness because it provides for your basic comforts, for recreation—travel, holidays, hobbies or in time of ill-health. A couple of years ago there was an article based on research conducted by Princeton University - on how much money one needs to earn to be happy and the magic number was 75,000$ per year (for the USA). I guess the number would vary for people living in different states/cities and also the number of dependents in the house etc. Money has a dangerous and unhappy side to it if it turns into greed.
4. The fourth is definitely family, friends, and people, being around them makes me happy. Companionship, camaraderie, socializing is rejuvenating, but at the same time, I stay away from the negative people as it robs me of my peace of mind.
5. The fifth is hobbies. I feel a void, big dent in my life if for some reason I am not able to spend time on stuff that I like to do, be it reading, writing, painting, dancing, biking or being with nature.

I feel going to clubs or parties every single weekend, gossiping, criticizing, watching TV constantly, or just being a lazy bum is a criminal waste of time. Social service and such also provides happiness. Basically, it’s important to concentrate on something that keeps you occupied meaningfully.

6. And last but not least is sunshine... Places like Seattle - which are constantly cloudy - are not meant for me. I felt low, gloomy and depressed in Seattle. I see a whole new shift in my mood and energy since I moved to the Bay Area. I feel back to my own self.

Video Log - Traditions

I keep making youTube videos on various topics, this one is about traditions.

Blogging

Blogging is a tricky medium. There is no guarantee that your post will be taken in the spirit that it was intended, it can be misunderstood by someone or the other.

I do not share names so there is no way to tell who it is written about or if it really happened (could very well be a figment of imagination). Also, I have had all sorts of experiences sad, bad, ugly, good, ecstatic and whatnot, I have known many vampires/ bullies/hypocrites/gossipmongers/male chauvinist pigs/negative/ beautiful/positive/amazing/ smart/intelligent/ warm/ welcoming/ terrific people. So the opinions expressed here are not based on one person or one thing, it can not be.

If the blogger is being sarcastic some may think they were upset or angry, sharing your opinions on human behavior can turn into debates as people might think you were targeting them, if you are making a valid point some will ignore the point and argue about something trivial that was expressed in the post and how it hurt them.

I have learned that no matter how clear, valid and simple we keep the posts there will always be an element of perception and interpretation, which again is subjected to the people who are reading it, their backgrounds, experiences, culture and sometimes their relation to me. I cannot control all this. 

So I have no option but to continue writing what I believe in. The only thing which is in my control is - I can make sure that the names are never mentioned anywhere, even my immediate family members do not know who I have written about (they have never asked me who the post was about too), there is never a personal vendetta or evil intended against anyone.

This blog is a reflection of my thought process, the opinions expressed here are not necessarily right or wrong, true or false it is simply my perception and interpretation of the world around me.

5 life lessons

Five life lessons that I have learned -

1) You can not please everyone.

Personally, I have seen that people have bizarre expectations. A lot of people are hypocrites and someone or the other will always get offended by what you do. Might as well do what makes you feel comfortable, happy and healthy.

2) Actions speak louder than words.

If there is something you wish to do, then do it first and talk about it later. Its always more fun listening to real-stories than the imaginary ones.

3) Life is short.

Great if you are adventurous and into daredevil sports but do not risk others lives because they might not recover from it. Ever! And if you are forced into doing something that you don't feel comfortable doing or don't have the nerve for then be strong enough to say no, doesn't matter if they call you a coward - I have experienced this firsthand, I broke my tailbone just because someone forced me to skate, it took me more than a year to heal from the injury, I had to take painkillers for one whole year otherwise the pain left me in tears each night. I didn't need to skate to show I wasn't a coward, I just needed to trust my intuition and should have said 'go to hell' (or whatever words I use when I am angry) - being aggressive/ vocal and upfront about what we want and do not want to do is much more courageous. Life is short. Do not make it shorter by being foolish.

The above does not apply just for adventures but anything in general. Remember you are an independent person, free citizen of a free nation. You alone are responsible for your health, well being, mental well being, people you want to hang out with or any decisions that you make. People will try to use bad-harsh-unpleasant words, thinking you will be manipulated that way. Let people bark. It doesn't matter. Trust your intuition. Stand up for yourself and if it comes to that then yell, scream make sure that you are heard and there are boundaries that people do not dare to cross.

4) Financial Independence is important.

Until you are dependent upon someone else for your 'survival', you will never truly be your own person.

5) Happiness is a choice.

And that means one needs to choose what we do in our lives, with our time, who do we hang out with, the kind of lifestyle we live - it is all a choice, happiness is a choice. 

Our Best

 

 

I work out every day for 60 minutes. Aerobics, Weight lifting, Pilates, Yoga, Hiking, Biking, Dance, Kickboxing and whatnot,  still I am not content because I never think I am doing enough. I should be doing more.

 

I prepare most of my meals. I spend around 60 minutes each day in the kitchen on meal preparations.  I eat simple and fresh food. I eat fruits, nuts for snack time. I also consume all my meals before 7 pm and I follow this successfully 9/10 times, the 10th meal I give up, I end up eating restaurant food, dessert, junk food, and such. 9/10 successful meals... and yet I think it is not good enough. I should be doing more. 

 

While I know this feeling of needing to do more will never go away but again it helps me to push myself and never give up. It helps me to stay motivated. 'Not doing enough' feeling doesn't have to translate into disappointment, it can also be translated into not giving up and pushing ourselves. 

 

When I started working out (I have been working out ever since I remember), my life was at a different stage. When I started blogging (2006?) it was at a different stage. And today (2019) it is at a different stage. With every stage, the challenges have changed and I am sure you have been through various stages/ phases - good bad, and the ugly. But as long as we keep doing our best and continue to focus on getting better, I guess we are doing enough. 

Lead By Example

I seldom give any weight to someone's opinion unless I respect them in 'that' particular field. If I like your body - health - mental status then I will listen to your fitness-diet tips. There are people who are double my size  - who have given me diet/ weight suggestions/advice.

Doesn't matter if you hold a doctorate in nutrition/ health or diet. First, prove to me that you have got it under control in your life and then you shall have my 100% attention :-)...

Don't get me wrong, I love to improve myself, I love pieces of advice, but say if my mother gives me advice on weight and diet then I would happily take it because she has been in shape forever, her diet is perfect, ever since I remember I have seen her exercise every.single.day, and even after having 3 kids she has a flat belly - she holds the credibility to give a piece of advice...

Or I would happily take a piece of advice on behavior and worldly wisdom from my father, he is one of the best people I have known in my life. But if toxic, negative and just bad people start to find faults in anyone/anything, I can not help but wonder why don't they spend that time in introspection.
I think you get the gist...Lead by example...


The world is changed by our example, not by our opinion.

The world of blogging

I have been writing a diary ever since I remember, even before the blogging world. It was simply my way of venting out my thoughts (and opinions). One day in 2006 I started blogging. This was my first post. I didn't have any expectations or any agenda from this activity. 

Then sometime in 2015 I started clicking pictures of my outfits every now and then and posted them on a new blog that I named as lifestyleandallthatjazz - basically about life, style, lifestyle, and everything under the Sun. 

When it comes to blogging I want to stay away from the herd mentality of gaining followers or having numerous comments and whatnot. Every blog has an aim and reason for its existence. Mine just happens to be for personal satisfaction & personal expression. 

The idea of my blogs is to show some creativity with clothes and again to express myself. Be myself. Be honest and voice my opinions. Yes, I am an opinionated person, just like every other person I have an opinion on books, movies, art, god, religion, war, pollution, population, diet, exercise, equality, and everything. While doing that I may have made a connection with a few, or offended a few. Who knows? I am just following my own rhythm. I appreciate you all coming out here and being part of the maniacal world of my opinions but don't forget that everything I write here is only an opinion about stuff be it Food, Fitness, Films, Fashion, Family, Friends or F-ilosophy! and I do not expect you to agree with anything that I express. 

Nasty

Most of the people who make nasty comments on others are bad/ toxic/ negative and unhappy people. People who live in mud sling mud on others ;-) The best people that at least I have met in my life are positive, encouraging, friendly, lovely, and too busy with activities to be spending time on gossiping.

I might remember the unfavorable feedback/ comments made on me by the toxic people but it doesn't mean that I let it get to me. Most of the negative people are hypocrites, honestly, it is hilarious to see the negative minds come up with their judgment, yes they are nasty but at the same time a mirror of themselves.

So I say - have a good memory but pretty much do your own thing. Do not even try to make people see their hypocrite or negative behavior, it is a waste of time. If you feel good and are not doing anything to hurt someone intentionally, then you are doing everything you can!

Illusion of perfection

We are all gauging each other's actions as per what we think is the right way to exist. Woven with intricate relationships we all are simply walking on pins and needles.

I try to survive on my own terms and focus all my energies on myself. I do not want to be someone else's 'version of existence or expectation or perfection'. 

I will stay true to myself, being myself no matter what. There is no perfection and there is no illusion of perfection either.

Ban

Every other year I impose a shopping ban on myself. So I do not shop for even a hairpin in that year (I am obviously not talking about the essentials - such as groceries). The max I have gone with the ban is 3 years straight. I must tell you it is quite challenging because there are temptations all around us. I get to try out many combinations in the ban periods and use everything that I have.

So why the ban? Because I cannot help but cringe over the materialistic world we have formed around us. We are all dwelling in excess. Believing in retail therapy more than believing in ourselves. Why do we feel we need to shop to feel happy? We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like. I am just trying NOT to be that person.

I have always been a big believer in savings. If you give me money, chances are I will straight away put it into my savings, planning for real estate investments. I didn't buy anything in 2018 and 2019 is a ban year too. Anyone interested in trying out the ban?

I do not condemn shopping, it builds and nourishes the economy. But here is a thought, in the good old days people got their clothes mended from tailors, shoes fixed from the cobbler, got small little parts of the blender, and stuff from the dingy little stores located in some tiny alleys - this all paid the small local businesses. Now the mentality is we are looking for something to go wrong with our stuff so that we can buy new stuff and throw away the old stuff.

So I say - I do not condemn shopping but I condemn the stigma attached to repeating clothes, needing something new to wear to every party, having things in the closet with their price tag on, and yet complaining about having nothing to wear, throwing away stuff without even trying to get it fixed first and just mindless shopping for self-gratification or shopping for the sake of having-everything-everyone-else has.

That is why I follow a shopping ban every other year or so. I have enough stuff to mix- match - use, I think most of us do. Imposing a ban gives a break to the mind and forces you to make most of your existing closet, try to make things work. While sometimes the temptations try and take over your sanity but staying strong gives you a greater sense of achievement later. Not to mention the money and time you save you can spend on hobbies, activities, travel or maybe go towards paying your loan.

If you are interested in pledging a shopping ban then -
Things that are banned:
- Clothes (all kinds!)
- Shoes
- Accessories/Jewelry
- Bags/Purses/Clutches
- Cosmetics
- Electronics/Gadgets and anything that is unnecessary

Things that are allowed:
- Food
- Water
- Home Supplies
- Medicines
- Toiletries (shampoo, soap, etc.)

Vlog - Carl Sagan

Greed

Is greed just about money or materialistic things? or greed is also wanting more and more from life, going through the fear of missing out or wanting every.single.thing in every.single.shape.and.size?

I feel greed can be for many things like knowledge, learning, helping, growth, progress, improvement, betterment. If the past generations were content with whatever they had then we wouldn't be living in a technologically advanced world today. 

If the whole world feels content with everything that they have then how will science advance, how will more discoveries and inventions happen, who will create empires and provide us with jobs? Also not feeling content with our health/ weight/ knowledge makes us live a better life. In my opinion greed (when it is not turning us into a demon) is essential for our and world's growth and progress.

Thoughts?

Motherhood

How consumed are you in motherhood? Are your kids the best part of your life? Do you feel complete as a woman because you have kids? Are your profile pictures/ status updates/ conversation topics/ small talks/ thoughts/ dreams everything of and about your kids?

I don't understand why anyone would think that way. Life is so BIG. So vast. There are endless possibilities of self-discovery. I hope people explore them all. Kids can remain a beautiful part of life, but not the sole happiness. One needs to feel complete without kids/ or for that matter without a partner.

I hope motherhood doesn't put any brakes on your quest for life, but accelerates it.

My 2 cents: There are some who think there is nothing as important for women as wanting to be mothers. Such glorification of motherhood also means if you can’t or don’t wish to have any children there must be something wrong with you. 

Having children can be one aspect of life but it isn't the whole life. It's okay if you want to have them and it's okay if you don't. Motherhood does not complete you, you are complete even without it.

3 in Science

Fashion 1 0 1

The fashion industry is the second largest industry in the world after the oil industry. The owner of Zara Amancio Ortega is the richest man in Europe and the fourth richest man in the world. That says a lot about the world of fashion.

Fashion is also the number two most polluting industry next to the oil industry. It is a socio-economic topic covering the whole world and pertaining to each and every one of us. However, everyone is not aware of things happening in the fashion industry and the way clothing production works. I think the more people know, the better we can work to make a change.

If I were to invite you to read just one topic on this blog then this would be it.

The maximum number of clothing items that I ever bought in one single year was 10  (clothing items include work clothes/nightdresses/ socks/ undergarments/ scarves). And there have been years that I didn’t buy a single clothing item, the max I have gone without shopping is 3 years. I did not buy a single item (not even a hairpin) in 2017. I can create loads of combinations with the quality products that I already have and it gives me a feeling that I am wearing something new every day. The clothing items that you see on my personal style blog are accrued over a period of 15+ years.
And why am I telling you this? I am coming to that.

There are many people who have a budget set (say 100$ per week) to buy clothes/ shoes/ purses/ accessories. Unfortunately, it is a story in most households. Do you know the average number of clothes bought every year by Americans? It is 65 per year - not per family but per person (I think the East is catching up too).
The point I am trying to make is - we buy too much.

Why do we buy so much?

Because we associate happiness with owning more. They call it ‘the retail therapy’. However therapy is something that fixes us for life, therapy is treatment - therapy can not be something that gives momentary pleasure, so chocolates or retail can not be termed as therapy. If retail is therapy then it is so only for the shop owners, not for you and me. If you think following the latest trends is making you look trendy or how many clothes you buy are showcasing you as rich then no - you are getting poorer and the only person getting richer is the owner of brands.

I have said this before on this blog - I am just reiterating myself - contrary to popular belief food and shopping can not be hobbies. Owning stuff and a materialistic attitude is not going to make us happy. The way to solve the problems in our life is not through consumption.

Careless production and endless consumption-
I did a part-time fashion designing course from Pune, India. I used to sew my own salwar kamizes for years in college. Sewing is a time-consuming task, it is physically challenging too - it would give me a lot of back and neck ache, so how much ever I enjoyed sewing I decided to call it quits (and now instead I break my back on a software job).

However, I must admit that sewing is one hobby that makes me the happiest. One sewing project takes hours and now I pick only one or two sewing projects every year. Good quality fabrics I buy for my projects start from 10$ per yard and you need say 3 yards for an adult skirt  (more if you add lining). On top of that other materials are needed like thread, elastic, zipper, and whatnot.
Anyhow, so up till now you must have understood from this post that

• We buy too much
• Sewing projects are time-consuming
• Sewing causes a lot of physical discomfort and
• Sewing is an expensive affair if we want quality material

Doesn’t it make you think how are the shops filled to the brim with dirt-cheap clothes? How are H&M, Old Navy, Forever21 selling skirts for less than $10???

Remember that everything that we wear is touched by human hands … not robots. How is it possible that we are paying dirt cheap price when someone is working hard to make them? How much are the sewers paid?

We can buy clothes so cheaply because they are made of very poor quality materials and because people who make these clothes do not earn a living wage. They work in factories that do not fulfill safety requirements. They work with highly toxic materials. They often work over a dozen hours a day, six days a week, with no provisions and no legal arrangements, in locked buildings they can not leave even in face of danger. They risk their health and their lives just so that we, the people of the West consider it a given that we can buy a cheap t-shirt. And then, tragedies occur, like the one in Rana Plaza where over one thousand people were killed in a clothing factory building collapse. When we buy cheap clothes, we are playing with people's lives and well-being and on the most basic level, on human dignity.

Their need to work, their need to earn money is being misused, they are being treated as slaves. They need to be treated with as much respect as any other working professional would  - be it the working hours/ safe working conditions/ health benefits/ sick leave.

In Cambodia when textile industry workers marched to ask for an increase in the minimum wage - police fired guns killing and injuring people - their only ask was 160$ per month - they are currently given 30 cents a day. Why their government doesn’t help with this? Because they fear that if the wages are increased the business will go to other countries that are offering lower wages - the businesses obviously care only for profits. Our government has no rules and regulations over the trades, the companies decide the working conditions, minimum wage, and these corporations are making loads of money.

This explains the reason why Zara's owner is the fourth richest man on Earth.

But wait there's more to that. The fast fashion industry has a massive and negative influence on the environment. The aim is to produce as much material for clothes as fast as possible. This means that the chain of harmfulness starts right at cotton plantations. The cotton isn't just sprayed with pesticides but also monopolized by big corporations which means very few rich producers are able to farm ecologically.

BT cotton is cotton in which a gene has been added from a bacteria to produce a toxin - this patent is owned by a big company (Monsanto) and a poor farmer has to go to the company to buy seeds, these seeds are extremely expensive. The pesticides that are used to produce the cotton for our clothes are spoiling the soil. The use of fertilizers pesticides increases toxicity in the region where cotton is grown, it causes cancer, birth defects, and many such illnesses. There are also weaving mills, dyers (Chemicals are used to dye), and tanneries polluting earth and water and also making people working on them and living close to them sick because of the proximity of all the toxic materials. Clothes are not biodegradable which means if you throw them they will sit on the land for many years.

I express my grief over many things like (a) people don’t work out, eat junk, parents feed their kids restaurant food/ processed/unhealthy food every other day (b) animals are killed for food and making leather for humans (c) many do not know even the basics of gender equality (d) clothing industry is treating the laborers/ environment poorly - people tell me not to think about it - enjoy your day, why do you have to think about all this they say. But I believe we should care. Let’s not merely, just exist. Let’s live a conscious life. If we are talking about long-term sustainability and well-being on this planet then the industry will have to change and also ‘we’ have to change.

I can't stand authoritarian opinions and I dislike selling my point of view. But remember that I am not knocking on your door telling you how to live your life, you have chosen to read this blog where I am expressing my opinions, so continue reading if you feel you need to change or make a difference in this scenario (how much ever little it is), else you can say I know how the fashion industry works but I don't care to make a difference, in that case, stop reading now.

Here are the steps that you can take if you care about finding a solution to the fast fashion problem like I do.

The industry works for us and gets rich thanks to us. The consumers are not some statistic, imaginary group: it consists of individuals, of you and me. We let it grow and get strong. So how do we start?

1. Slow down. Don't let the ads tempt you, don't go browsing the shops. Detox. We're buying too much anyway. If you see a skirt for 4$ think what kind of quality it is - the good quality fabrics that I have bought in this country for sewing an adult size skirt takes at least 10$ a yard - so something that is sold for 4$ is plain bad quality and also think how much was the sewer paid for his/her hard work (as the company is going to keep maximum profit). Next time you buy at sale realize that the company is still making its profit - the sale that you get is by cutting the wages of the sewers. I have thought a lot on this topic and the best solution that I see is - Stop mindless consumption, reuse, recycle and reduce.
2. Buy sensibly - from a lot to good. It is better to buy something that you are positive about: something that will match the rest of your wardrobe made well and out of quality materials. Something that will last for many years. That way you create a well-defined personal style. It's a smart thing to do for the environment and society. Every year we dump millions of tonnes of clothes and only a small part of them reach the second-hand/thrift stores. We spill a massive amount on developing countries, destroying the local and traditional workplaces at clothes making. The largest part goes to garbage dumps where it will decompose for hundreds of years, harming the environment (clothes are not bio-degradable).
3. Look for better alternatives. I buy only a few items every year from decent brands, I know their fabric is good quality - and I prefer to buy at brands who have ethical rules and regulations - you can check it on their websites if they follow an ethical process. People who can should look for alternatives - look for tailors in your area, or local boutiques who you know are doing ethical business.
4. Donate your clothes (when you are done using them) to someone you know or someone in need. As I said earlier clothes are not biodegradable. In my family we all use each other's clothes, my nieces use the clothes that don't fit me anymore or the ones that I think are no longer age-appropriate for me. I have no issues using clothes that someone else has used before but I know many people do not like it, using used clothes is too lowly for them - it is something that only the poor do, well I don't want to comment on how you should feel about it but think innovative ways of reusing, recycling and repurposing clothes. For example, I use worn-out clothes at home, turn them into rags, I have seen people making quilts with their old clothes or repurposing clothes to make baby/ toddler clothes. When it comes to donating clothes - My first preference is donating clothes to people I know - so that I can see them getting used and the next option is donating to the salvation army. I am sure you will find a lot of people around you who will happily accept used clothes - so donate.
5. Start to think about your clothes like they were made to last. Head fashion designers keep saying that fashion should not be disposable. So, start to clean your clothes the right way: it's different for polyester and cotton and wool. Tags will help you decide what to do and then there is the internet to dig through for detailed instructions. I always use the handwash mode on the machine for washing all my clothes and also I never put them in the dryer - the result is I use the same clothes for more than 15 years. If you own a piece for so long that it got damaged over time, then remember that you can shave the pilling on a sweater, patch a hole on the elbow and if you lost weight then all your clothes can be adjusted for the new measurements. Some things you can do on your own while it is better to have others done by a professional. A lot of skirts that you see on this blog were a size or two bigger, they have been adjusted to fit my new measurements. Why is this important? You're caring for the environment because you're limiting trash production. You're also supporting local artisans and so, helping people whose jobs are going extinct. For example, I always go to a cobbler to get my broken shoes fixed but many people choose to throw away things in the excitement of buying new stuff.

The clothes that live with you for a long time, get a lot of stories ingrained in them. One of my childhood friends wore skirts that her mother used to wear when she was in college. Those skirts were a different fashion altogether, they were unique because they were not in the market at that time and she got a lot of compliments on her clothes and a lot of surprised reactions when she said this is my mother's skirt. So if you've ever been given a garment worn by your grandmother or your grandfather in their youth, you know what I am talking about. Also, it is good for the pocket - you can save money and rather spend it on some good things like real estate!

And lastly 'The true cost' is a very good documentary on this topic.

Video Log - Dawkins

Book Reviews 2017.4

Reviewing books that I read in 2017.

16. Wedding Night - Sophie Kinsella
Did not like it, even though it is written by Kinsella. 2/5.

17. Into the Water - Paula Hawkins
Second book written by the author of 'girl on the train' (which I loved and couldn't put down). Into the water was a let down, did not enjoy it. 2/5.

18. Mrs Funnybones - Twinkle Khanna
I didn't know before buying the book that it is just a collection of Twinkle Khanna's blog posts, which I had read already. Loved reading them again, as the name suggests the book is very funny. 4/5.

19. Joy in the Morning - P.G. Wodehouse
Edwin was my favorite character in the book. Wodehouse at his best again. 4/5.

20. Mindset: the new psychology of success - Carol S. Dweck
"The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although many people may differ in every which way - in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests or temperaments - everyone can change and grow through application and experience." Liked the book and would definitely recommend it. 4/5.

Book Reviews. 2017.3

Reviewing books that I read in 2017:

11. Big Little Lies - Liane Moriarty 
Did not like the book but absolutely loved the show on HBO, which would be an ideal example of how to adapt books for TV shows. 3/5.

12. My not so perfect life - Sophie Kinsella
I read all her books, does not mean I like all of them :-). 2/5.

13. Space Chronicles: Facing the ultimate frontier - Neil deGrasse Tyson
Tyson illuminates the past, present, and future of space exploration and brilliantly reminds us why NASA matters now as much as ever. Loved the book. 5/5.

14. My Man Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse
My father has read all of Wodehouse books. And I want to. I am short of words to express what a legendary writer he is. Wodehouse is my favorite author when it comes to wordplay. His writing has a very natural flow, and even though the stories are set in British context, you feel very close to his characters. The only other author who made me laugh so hard was P. L. Deshpande. Wodehouse's stories are charmingly simple and yet delightfully funny. 5/5.

15. All the missing girls - Megan Miranda
A very well rated book on Goodreads, but I failed to understand all that hoopla around it. 2/5.