Diary

In the beginning my writing was confined in a 100 page diary. I wrote about what I did during the day, what I wore and mostly it was the reflection of all the feelings that I went through. We gaze at ourselves in the mirror once in a while, just like that whenever I get a chance I go through the old pages of my diary, to look for that innocent naive existence of me, it is not lost, I have it preserved - in my diary.

Sometimes an emotion takes over us and then we stop listening to our brain and do what the heart tells us to. That emotion can be anything, love, anger, vengeance or rage. The brain stops functioning logically when the heart starts to rule, and then we start dancing to the tunes of our emotions.
I am a common (wo)man who has experienced the battles between the brain and mind. All of these battles, struggles, fights are witnessed by my diary, and most of the battles end in the diary too. Those white papers have the power to calm me down. Stress at work, at home, my principles or the tangled relationships, thrilling-sad-funny-happy experiences and all sorts of ideas - the diary knows it all.

She bears with my anger and love both with equal poise. She listens. Everyone goes through struggles but she constantly gave me the courage to get up and try again. I am not a quiet person, sometime I feel I talk way too much and I should let others do some talking too, but with the diary I speak my innermost feelings. My parents have a big role to play in the kind of person I am today and my diary has a solid part in the kind of person I am not. Because I don't avenge, speak badly, with anger etc. just because I get to express it to the diary. She is my venting mechanism. Most of the storms relinquish in it.

She also developed a liking for creation in me.

I see the memories of yesterday and the dreams of tomorrow in my diary. She provides me the kind of support I need to be at peace and not just superficially. In real life I do not abide by the rules of society, and I am the same with my diary... more so. I have had inferiority complex ever since I remember but the diary provides me a surge of confidence every time I express myself to her.
There are loads of advantages of writing a diary, even psychiatrists prescribe it to patients going through depression etc. I had highly recommend picking up the habit of writing a journal/ diary, even if it's just 4 lines everyday.
Ciao.

PG My Man

My new vlog -

If you propose to speak

“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind” –Buddha

“Is It True? Is It Necessary? Is It Kind?

Oh! Stay, dear child, one moment stay,

Before a word you speak,

That can do harm in any way

To the poor, or to the weak;

And never say of any one

What you’d not have said of you,

Ere you ask yourself the question,

“Is the accusation true?”

And if ’tis true, for I suppose

You would not tell a lie;

Before the failings you expose

Of friend or enemy:

Yet even then be careful, very;

Pause and your words well weigh,

And ask it it be necessary,

What you’re about to say.

And should it necessary be,

At least you deem it so,

Yet speak not unadvisedly

Of friend or even foe,

Till in your secret soul you seek

For some excuse to find;

And ere the thoughtless word you speak,

Ask yourself, “Is it kind?”

When you have ask’d these questions three—

True,—Necessary,—Kind,—

Ask’d them in all sincerity,

I think that you will find,

It is not hardship to obey

The command of our Blessed Lord,—

No ill of any man to say;

No, not a single word.

Poem by - Mary Ann Pietzker

9 books that stayed with me - part 2

5. 5 point someone - Chetan Bhagat


Yes! A book by Chetan Bhagat is on my list! I am saying this guilt free that I loved this book and that is why I kept reading all his next books - until 3 mistakes of my life - after that I gave up. But anyway, this book opened a new avenue of books for me - English books written by Indian writers, I had never read any books by Indian writers, not even anything by R.K. Laxman, before reading 5 point someone. Then I read books by Jhumpa Lahiri, Aarvind Aadiga, Amitav Ghosh, Abraham Verghese, Salman Rushdie, Sudha Murthy, Deepak Chopra, Anurag Mathur (I love his book the inscrutable americans). I was blown away by ‘Palace of illusion’ - the rendition of Mahabharata from a female perspective. ‘Palace of illusion’ emphasized the prominence of how every story is multidimensional and every one’s point of view is equally valid and interesting, it remains amongst the top five books that I have ever read.

6. Who moved my cheese - Spencer Johnson

This was the first book that I read in self help book category. I was then at a perfect age to read self-help books, earlier would have helped too. When I look back at myself in my teens, I don’t resemble that person even a bit, I have grown up to be so different, part of it definitely is life experiences, people I met and the self-help books that I read.

Self-help books give you different perspectives on the world around you and how you interact with people, your environment and yourself. It is pretty much a blueprint for a bigger project. Remember that most of the time, these books are a life's accumulation of knowledge by some pretty brilliant people. But don't take everything in the self help books to be an ultimate truth. It is just another point of view, way of thinking. You sure learn things from books , but use the perspective you gain cumulatively along with your real life experiences and experiences of others to shape your core values. Its those core values that will help you be a better person. Books are just one of the various tools, and an important one, in that process. Always stay open and keep learning. If you are an avid reader of self help books balance your reading across different topics. E.g read about money but also read about soul, read about productivity but also read about mindfulness. This will help you gain more from each book.

Some of my favorite self help books are - the power of your subconscious mind, power of positive thinking, who moved my cheese, seven habits of highly effective people, grow younger live longer, rich dad poor dad, tough times never last but tough people do, I am okay you are okay, eat that frog, how to win friends and influence people, the four agreements, grit: the power of passion and perseverance, count your chickens before they hatch.

7. The Inimitable Jeeves

My father had the entire set of P.G. Wodehouse books, he would read them non stop, I was too curious to read P.G. but had doubts if I will understand it, considering it is british comedy. Sometimes without even trying something we unnecessarily feel that we won’t be able to do it. So anyway, before reading P.G. I watched the TV show ‘Jeeves and Wooster’ - it gave me an idea of the mannerism, style, lifestyle that the British at that time had. Once I understood that I started reading P.G. and now I am a complete fan. He has written 100+ books and I have read hardly 12, I will definitely be reading them ALL. P.G. has filled my life with humor, I read at least five pages of P.G. before going to bed, it relaxes my mind before sleeping. Life is so playful, silly, light and fun if we look at that side of it. If I ever write a book then my style would be largely influenced by P.G. and Pu. La. Deshpande.

8. Confessions of a Shopaholic - Sophie Kinsella


Before I read this book I had never read the genre called chick lit - The genre often addresses issues of modern womanhood – from romantic relationships to female friendships to matters in the workplace – in humorous and lighthearted ways. Chick lits became my guilty pleasure, however I haven’t found a better writer in this genre than Sophie Kinsella. Sometime I do hate the women characters in her books - who by chance meet millionaire bachelors and end up becoming rich and whatnot, I still read all her books. Finding Audrey is one of my favorite.

Some avid readers say they read anything and everything, well I don’t. Life is too short to read anything and everything also once we start reading and appreciating quality stuff like Ayn Rand and Richard Dawkins it is hard to read anything and everything.

9. The Martian - Andy Weir


I had an aversion towards Sci Fi books, I had read a few like ‘a wrinkle in time’, ‘ender’s game’, ‘Hitch Hiker’s guide to the galaxy’, ‘1984’ - all of these are well known books, however I did not enjoy reading them. I picked up ‘The Martian’ with reluctance and I absolutely loved it, I realized I do enjoy Sci Fi after all, only if chosen wisely :). I am now open to reading sci fi and the ones that really liked are - Replay, The Martian and dark matter. Please do recommend if you have read and liked any sci fi books.



I had a fun time writing this series, hope you enjoyed reading it too and I hope you enjoy reading those books too. Ciao.

9 books that stayed with me... Part 1

75% of the parents want their children to start reading books for fun, but I think mostly those pick up the habit of it at an early age who see their family read books for fun. You can not tell the children ‘eat healthy’, they are simply following you, as the phrase goes ‘raise yourself before you raise your kids’. I started reading because that is what I saw my family members do and reading is contagious.

There are a lot of benefits of reading - reading boosts brain power, it helps you to relax, it makes you more empathetic, it can help you sleep better, it obviously gives knowledge. 

For me, reading is a beautiful escape from the nuances of the mundane world. You can sit comfortably in your couch and yet you get transported into a different world altogether. A world with so many possibilities,  opinions, and mysteries. The best part about reading is that it leaves so much to your imagination as you create pictures in your mind, through words. And these pictures create an experience that is all yours, hidden in the depths of your mind.

Reading is definitely one of my first and foremost passions. The books that I read have a large part to play in defining the person that I am today (even more than the people in my life).

If I had to select the books that I loved it will be a very long list, so I decided to write a post on 9 books that influenced me and my reading patterns over the years.

1. Batatyachi Chaal - Pu. La. Deshpande

I did my schooling in Marathi medium so when it came to reading books the obvious choice of books for me was Marathi. I started reading ‘Chandoba’, ‘Champak’, fairy tales, followed by treasure hunt books like ‘Khajinyacha Shodh’. My reading did not evolve from that phase for a long time, probably until I turned 15.

Then it happened that my eldest brother would come back from work, sit in a relaxing chair, read a book and laugh out loud. So I picked up one of his books ‘Batatyachi Chaal’ out of curiosity, to find out why my otherwise serious brother laughed so much.

When I read Batatyachi Chaal it opened a new exciting avenue of books for me, it showed me a ray of light while I was dilly-dallying in an abyss. Pu. La. is definitely one of the best Marathi writers and was a great choice to start ‘actual’ reading. And then I read all books by good Marathi writers Pu. La., Va. Pu. Kale, Suhas Shirwalkar, Gangadhar Gadgil, Irawati Karve and more.

2. Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand

I had read enough Marathi books, so when I went to the library I had read most of the books by good writers and had to read books by ‘Popatrao’ because I wanted to read something new. If you haven’t read books by ‘Popatrao’ then you wouldn’t know the level of low-grade books that I had started to read. And that is when I saw one of my relative, also from Marathi medium, read an English book (she also appears in one of my earlier posts ‘Chiu and I’). She advised me to start reading English books. I said I don't understand English. But then looking at the ease and passion with which she read English books - I decided to give it a try, and boy oh boy how glad am I that I did. ‘Batatyachi Chaal’ showed me a ray of light and ‘Atlas Shrugged’ put me straight out on a sunny beach.

I don’t read anything and everything now, life is too short to do that and there is a lot of quality available, and for that I had to conquer the language barrier.

It took me 8 months to finish reading this book - considering it was my first English book, obviously one reads slow when they are not accustomed to the language and also because the book is huge.

From the first scene in this book where a girl gets out of a train and is teased by some men for questioning why the train stopped working, and then she shuts them up by saying she is Dagny Taggart - the owner of the train that they are traveling in. From that first scene onwards every scene in the book gave me goosebumps, it made the feminist in me proud too. I do not want to divulge the plot in case you are planning to read this book. But the basic theme is about creators and leeches, creators are ignored by the public, that is by us, and leeches are worshipped who exist because of the creators. This book was written in the 50’s and one can not help but wonder the kind of vision Ayn Rand had, the theme applies to today’s world too.

And then the next book I read was ‘Fountainhead’, again by Ayn Rand. A man who doesn’t let go of his principles and values, can he attain success? Considering everyone around us are ‘compromising’ some way or the other. At one point I got so mad at the man that I threw the book to the floor (I do not remember doing this to any other books that I read), such are the emotions that Ayn Rand makes the readers go through.

I read Fountainhead a couple of times after that and it remains one of my favorite books.

Then I kept reading English books - like Animal Farm, Alchemist, Pride and Prejudice, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, The Da Vinci Code, Tell me your dreams etc.

3. Cheaper by the dozen


I was asked in an interview at my first job, which book influenced you the most? And this was the book I said influenced me the most and the weird thing is even after reading so many books from then and now this book still remains the one that has influenced me the most. I apply it every single day in whatever I do.

It is a true story of Frank Gilbreth who brought the idea of time management into industries, he was a time and motion expert. He always thought of a more efficient process that can be followed to take care of any given task or chore, be at work or at home. He also brought the idea of parallel tasking in industries. Till today I try to form an efficient process for everything that I do and parallel task all the time.

Anyway, the book is called Cheaper by the dozen because Frank had a dozen kids. Frank was asked in an interview ‘what you do with so much time that you save by doing everything efficiently and faster?’ He said in that time I do things that I like, drink wine and listen to music (and apparently make kids too ;-) ).

If it was not for this book then I would never have been able to do the 100 things that I want to achieve everyday.

(The Indian IT industry needs to follow this book, they give importance to spending more time at work, there is zero value for efficient people)

4. Selfish Gene


As a kid I had innumerable questions for my parents, why is there life? Why does the world exist? What is God? If God created us then who created god? Why do you worship these idols? I did not feel even an ounce of faith and did not want to be a part of worships, prayers, and whatnot. Being an atheist is not easy in India, first of all, people don't understand if you question their faith, they are okay to follow thousand-year-old traditions, customs, rituals and things (like God) that were born out of someone's imagination but if you point it out to them you will be called a madman/ woman.

I was afraid that I was the ignorant one and may be there is truth to what everyone around me believes and follows, whenever something bad happened to me I felt guilty that it happened because I do not believe in God. It was a frustrating phase for me.

Richard Dawkins is the man who helped me understand that it is perfectly normal to question the existence of a creator. I can not thank him enough for pulling me out of my quandary and feeding me with all that easy to understand knowledge. And I have to thank my brother too who introduced me to Dawkins.

‘If you have beliefs then what do you have the intelligence for?’ - very well said by J. Krishnamurthi. Science will one day conquer all the ignorance in the world. It might not happen in our lifetime but one day humans will go beyond fears and see things for what they are. All gods will die off one by one as their relevance outlive our evolving intellect.

Today I am a non closeted atheist who is not afraid of any fear tactics. People are killed in the name of God/ religion more than in the name of science.

Although I am not as vocal or aggressive as Dawkins is, as long as people are not dragging me to prayers or forcing me to come to temples/ pujas and such I keep things to myself.

And then started the phase of reading loads of science books - brief history of time, Short History of Nearly Everything, mapping human history, the Sun’s heartbeat, the blind watchmaker, the magic of reality, the ancestor's tale, universe from nothing: why is there something rather than nothing, pale blue dot, demon haunted world, physics of the impossible, the elegant universe, why does the world exist, the god delusion, death by a black hole… and the list goes on.

My New Video - The Rockstar Physicist

Idiot Box : Part 11

Reviewing TV shows -
Counterpart
Too slow, gave up half way. Dark is a far better show (based on similar theme). 1/5.

Mr. Robot
Loved the first season then it got boring and tiring. 2/5.

The Middle
Hilarious. I have seen 6/7 seasons and laughed out loud in every episode. 4/5.

Blackish
Great theme, bad actors, it needs better actors with a better chemistry. Some shows were laugh out loud funny but again needs better actors. 3/5.

The Missing
Heart wrenching. 5/5.

Idiot Box : Part 10

Reviewing TV shows.

Master of none
Witty, intelligent, funny, extraordinary. 5/5.

13 reasons why
I have already reviewed it here.

Big Little Lies
It is a glossy, very well made, mystery melodrama. I love it. 5/5.

The Crown
I know everyone is going gaga over the crown but I don't understand why. Is there anything extraordinary that the queen did so the viewer needs to see a tv show based on her life? I didn't find her life interesting. 2/5.

The Handmaid's Tale
Astounding, marvelous, superb, no television event has hit such a nerve. 5/5.

The end of the F***ing World
I did not like it. 1/5.

Idiot Box: Part 9

Travelers

It is a time travel show that is very light on science. Hundreds of years in our future, humanity is endangered and the survivors have learned to send their consciousness into their past, the 21st century. They then take over people’s bodies in order to carry out missions that will hopefully prevent humankind’s tragic fate. It is fun and freaky. 4/5.

American Vandal
American Vandal is a comedy series that satirizes true-crime shows. While most such shows are built around murders, the crime in this case is vandalism: penises are spray-painted on a row of teacher's cars. Those penises are shown over and over again and discussed at length, in silly ways, of course. Despite the language and vulgarity, this series is pretty sharp, sending up true-crime reportage by imitating it. Very different and off-beat show. 4/5.

Broadchurch
LOVED the first season and then it just got boring and tiring from season 2 onwards. 2/5.


Classic Legends/ Golden Years By Javed Akhtar
This documentary series explores the glamour of Bollywood through the stories of the men and women who have illuminated its screens. And as the name suggests it is based on the classic (black and white era) legends and the golden years of Bollywood. 5/5.

Mindhunter
This show is about serial killers, their mentality and why they do what they do. How does the police find out clues/ patterns if the murder was committed by serial killer and who his/her next victim will be. There is more chatter than splatter on the show (unlike Dexter). I found it just too slow, however it is a very well reviewed and received show. 2/5.

The Five
A thriller that has many cupboards all filled with skeletons, if you know what I mean. 4/5.

About Food...

1. Chew your food: eat and not swallow your food. The more you chew, the more satisfied you would be by the end of your meal. It also helps in digestion and absorption of nutrients.
2. Serve smaller portions. Eat often but lesser portions. Eat every 2 hours.
3. Eat Fruits, Nuts and Veggies. 
4. Fill your kitchen with healthy snacks. I don't keep any chips/soda/chocolates and such at home to avoid temptation.
5. Learn to say No! - My mother has a rule - finish whatever is served on the plate, which I followed for many years. Now, if I am full I put the leftover in the fridge. I have learned to say No. To myself and to others too. Once you are full, you are full, no matter what...and that is the only rule one should follow.

Idiot Box : part 8

You can see the earlier parts here - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Black Mirror
More seasons of Black Mirror are out and it is at its best, it provokes discussion, though often less about technological developments and more about the fallibility of human nature. 5/5.

Stranger Things
Stranger things is definitely the best Netflix original. There are only 8 episodes in each season, it has a terrific sense of mystery, the nostalgia of 80s is glorious, the casting is superb, humor and thriller is mind boggling. 5/5.

Dark
Originally a German series that you can watch with English subtitles. There are a lot of characters to keep track of in this show, which is one of the key challenges in the initial episodes, it inevitably sucks you in regardless. Dark is a mystery-box show through and through, complete with secrets and surprising twists and cliffhangers that put a cap on each episode while enticing you to immediately open the bottle of the next one. But at the same time it is a complicated story, just hang in there for the first few episodes and everything will start to make sense. 5/5.

Death in paradise

As with many cop procedurals there's an element of 'comfort food' about Death in Paradise. You know what you're going to get: the murder, the impossibility, the dogged legwork by the police officers, and then – usually just as it seems the case is uncrackable – the Detective Inspector sees or hears something that sparks a synapse or two… and he knows who did it. Gathering all the suspects in the best way, he explains it all. Chances are pretty good that if you're concentrating, you can get there ahead of the team – the way the murders are filmed nearly always contains some important clue – but even if you're half-asleep, you're led by the hand through the evidence. 4/5.

Planet Earth

This is a must watch show. Filmed on animals, jungles, rainforests, deserts and pole to pole, it just makes one realize how beautiful planet earth is and how we are destroying it. 5/5.

Indian Superfoods : Rujuta Diwekar

All my life when I looked around I felt a disconnect with the world. Fancy diets, calorie counting, don't eat this/ that, hours long workouts... I did not understand the necessity of all this. I eat small quantities after every few hours, I eat simple, homemade, Indian and fresh food, I eat ghee, rice, coconut everyday, I can not have a salad for a dinner, I can have khichadi for dinner but not salad (as the fad goes). I spend 60 minutes everyday on exercise, nothing more than that.

And when I looked around I thought 'my grandmother never followed any such diets, she ate simple and lived simple and didn't have to see a doctor all her life, why are there so many fads, who should I follow? my grandmother/ mother or the world? There are new scientific discoveries, may be my grandmother didn't know about them, but then I see that she lived a healthy life and maintained an awesome lean figure'.

And then one day I started reading and following Rujuta Diwekar and it dawned on me that my grandmother is and has always been right.  There was no looking back for me after that, I read all of Rujuta's books, she saved me from feeling confused, pulled me out of my quandary. Did Rujuta Diwekar turned me into a follower of my grandmother's lifestyle? No! I always followed it, all I needed was an affirmation that I am on the right path, the path of logic and simplicity, and she provided me with that affirmation.

Overall I feel Indian food is a superfood and in the book 'Indian Superfoods' Rujuta lists the superfoods of the superfood.

I highly recommend her books.

Book Reviews 2017.9

Reviewing the books that I read in 2017.

40. Replay - Ken Grimwood
Different concept, well written, loved it, definitely one of the best sci-fi books 5/5

41. Life with Jeeves - P.G. Woodhouse
It contains Right Ho, Jeeves; The Inimitable Jeeves; and Very Good, Jeeves. Jeeves, that noiseless provider of deliverance from the hangover, a bird of the ripest intellect, calm and wise enough to rescue Bertie and his pals from the most fearful scrapes. 5/5.

42. Dark Matter - Blake Crouch
If you have read other books by Blake (wayward pines) then the start of this book would be deja vu, people waking up in labs/ hospitals, not knowing where they are. After the start you need to be open and acceptable enough to read about scientific theories which are not proven yet ( and maybe they never will) , for the span of this book just assume those theories are true and once you do that the book is absolutely amazing. 4.5/5.

43. Mum on the Run - Fiona Gibson
Liked the story, did not like the whiny characters. 3/5.

44. Gilead - Marilynne Robinson
Gave up after 3rd chapter. Too much about Christianity, familial bonds, religion, prayers and stuff. 1/5.

45. The Inimitable Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse
The adventures of Bertie Wooster and Jeeves are narrated by Wodehouse with his natural flair and brilliantly fun-filled manner. P.G. Wodehouse yet again shows off his comic genius in this timeless funny classic. 5/5.

46. One Plus One - Jojo Moyes
I do not like Jojo Moyes' stories and this definitely is the last book of hers that I read. 1/5.

47. Ana and the french kiss - Stephanie Perkins 48. The Testament - John Grisham
Gave up both books half way.

49. A briefer history of time - Stephen Hawking
There are better books in science genre. 3/5.

Book Reviews 2017.8

Reviewing the books that I read in 2017.

36. Why does the world exist? An existential Detective Story - Jim Holt
The question why is there a world rather than nothing at all? remains the darkest and most enduring of all metaphysical mysteries. Jim Holt enters this fractious debate with his lively and deeply informed narrative that traces the latest efforts to grasp the origins of the universe. He leaves us with the question Stephen Hawking once asked but couldn't answer, ‘Why does the universe go through all the bother of existing?’. 4/5.

37. Harry Potter and the cursed child: parts 1 and 2 - John Tiffany
Before you start reading this book, separate your mind from the fact that this is going to be an exemplary continuation of the previous seven books. Aside from being a play, this books is also a more mature, character-driven, less magical story. I liked it. 3.5/5.

38. The first fifteen lives of Harry August - Claire North
Replay is a great book with a similar storyline, I highly recommend Replay but did not like The first fifteen lives of Harry August. 2/5.

39. Very Good, Jeeves! - P.G. Wodehouse
"Very Good, Jeeves" is a collection of 11 short stories featuring everyone's favorite valet ("a personal gentleman's gentleman," as Jeeves describes himself) and the ongoing scrapes of Mr. Bertie Wooster. In each story, either Bertie or one of his friends and relatives is in a bind, and fortunately for everyone, Jeeves is always there to advise and set things right. 5/5.

Book Reviews 2017.7

Reviewing books that I read in 2017.
31. When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi
What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir. 4/5.

32. Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse
Wondering what Wodehouse smoked before writing books. Pu la deshpande once mentioned that p g is his guru, after reading this book I had say there is no doubt about it, outrageous, hilarious and the best book in Bertie Jeeves series.

33. The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad - Twinkle Khanna
This was an easy read, a movie is also made on this book. Liked it. 3.5/5

34. Indian Superfoods - Rujuta Diwekar
It is interesting that yoga became cool only when the West embraced it. This book made me realize that billions of Indians are doing the same about food...blindly following trends of the West. I am not saying that everything that comes out of west is 'evil' (I mean, I'm writing this because of the West). But sometimes, it is nice to question what we have been taught. In my family I have seen my grandparents, parents living a healthy life with trim figures, how did they manage to do that? they don't follow any trends, dietitians or nutritionists. We already know the science, it is passed on to us from so many generations. Indian food is superfood, I have always been a believer of that. Loved Loved Loved this book. Highly recommended. 5/5

35. Kosla - Bhalachandra Nemade
I have the same feeling as I had for Catcher in the Rye (Kosla is 'inspired' by it). WTF did I just read? Nemade has received a Padma Shri and is a well renowned writer. You can give this book a try if you want, and let me know how it goes :). 2/5.

Book Reviews 2017.6

Reviewing books that I read in 2017.

26. Keys to Great Writing - Stephen Wilbers
From grammar rules to revision strategies, you'll find the crucial information you need in short, easy-to-browse sections that enable you to hone your own signature writing approach. 3/5.

27. Red Rising - Pierce Brown
Gave up half way, dystopian future... not my genre, otherwise the book has very good ratings.

28. The Great Escape - Fiona Gibson
Gibson's stories are about really mundane things like in mum on the run - a mother of 3 decides to start running every
day and lose some weight, in this book 3 friends meet after a long time and how it changes their lives in small possible ways. I love the way Gibson develops the scenes and the plot, there isn't a moment when I feel bored when reading her books, she has a good writing style. 4/5.

29. The Whistler - John Grishm
Predictable, boring, expected better from Grisham. 2/5.

30. Behind closed doors - B.A. Paris
It is a fast-paced, pulpy read that plays with your emotions without ever making you think too hard. I could not put it down. 4/5.

Socially Accepted Sexism - New Video

Lucky Basta**s!

I do not envy anyone, not anymore, not after junior college. I am content with all I have or don't have. I am willing to work hard to accomplish what I want so there is no reason to envy.

But lately, I have started feeling envious of some writers who have the power to express freely.

I want to be a loose cannon when writing, I want to write whatever comes to my mind without thinking twice and I was going to when I started this blog because I never expected anyone would read it :-)

But slowly that changed and now hundreds (I was gonna say millions but that would be the height of exaggeration) following my blog and judging me on the basis of the mere two paragraphs that they read here ... in spite of not having met me in years ... or even worse, have never met me in life but somehow found my blog. Maybe they think I am this deep serious person or probably a vain person spending time on clothes.

This is where I wonder don't other writers/ bloggers ever have such problems? How do they manage to give explicit access to people who might be on their blogs just for gossip and not necessarily the content, or may be judging them, falling in love or hate with them... and how do the bloggers provide opinions, information without worrying about who will be hurt in the process? How do they write without feeling scared of being misread/ misinterpreted/ misrepresented?


Those are the writers whom I envy.  Lucky Basta**s!

Book Reviews 2017.5

Reviews of books that I read in 2017 -

21. Right Ho, Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse
P. G. Does it again, situational comedy at its best, I am giving it 4 stars as my man Jeeves does not appear in most scenes, I want more of him. Can not wait to read the next in this series. 4/5.

22. The Best of Me - Nicholas Sparks
Gave it half way. That says it all.

23. Bridge to Terabithia - Katherine Peterson
This is more like a kid's book that is written for kids (unlike Harry Potter which everyone enjoys). 2/5.

24. An unsuitable boy - Karan Johar
Do not like his movies but loved his autobiography. 4/5.

25. The Colossus Rises - Peter Lerangis
I volunteer at a library and the colossus rises is a superhit book amongst the school children, I picked it up out of curiosity. After reading it I am wondering if the school children specially under 10 really understand this book. There are many elements that are hard to understand. It is a 3 book series, the story doesn't end in this part but I am not too keen on reading the next one, I give it 3 stars.

Time?

Do we have time? Or is it time that has us?

Delirium

In many parts of the world, women are distinctly seen as inferior sub-humans, who should stay confined at home, behind a veil, cook, produce children, take care of the in-laws and entertain their husbands. 

It becomes intolerable for men with male chauvinist mindsets when young women begin to challenge such stereotypes by stepping out and surpassing them in education and employment and by asserting their independence, opinions, financial freedom and demanding equal treatment.

Some men do not even stand close to the merit, strength, intelligence or grace of the women in their life and yet they live in a delirium of being a better species. Tch. Tch.

People Pleaser

It is human nature to want to fit-in, to belong, to be part of the ‘in’ crowd. A lot of you would accept (at least to yourself) that you are people pleasers.

I, amongst many others that I know, do not spend time pleasing people because

1. I am okay with being disliked,

2. People have bizarre kinds of expectations and objections, even though they never are up to the mark themselves. I am sure you have been through situations where you thought that people can have such nonsensical expectations and objections? I will give you one example, I took my own blankets and pillow to someone's house for a sleepover, because I wasn't sure if they would have enough for so many guests coming over to their house that too in winter. Can you guess what the host gossiped about me... that I carried my own blankets, while they should have been happy that I was considerate. I till today laugh at the whole thing... how bizarre can people's objections and observations be... It in a way shows how people need to grow up.

Anyway, the point is it is impossible to please all the people all the time, and some negative people can never be pleased whatever you do, a lot of people lack empathy. We should rather do our own thing and some will be pleased, at least some of the times ;-). 

If everyone likes you, then someone is definitely lying to you :) Do not feel the need for anyone’s approval and be undeterred by people’s opinions. Be clear about what you like and dislike, the kind of people you would want to meet and not meet. 

There are so many better things one can do with the time that they have, be it as trivial as taking a nap.…or read/write/paint or be around amazing people than to spend time fulfilling bizarre expectations.

As they say ‘You can not be afraid to not be liked. This fear limits you from being ALL of you’. I just want to live being me and be able to do things according to the circumstances and situations in life without being worried about what people are expecting from me or what are they objecting about. 

I do not have any intention of wasting this short presence on earth thinking about trivial objections, life is so vast, so BIG, there is so much one can do with time. I feel being a people pleaser restricts us from creating what we want to create and do what we want to do.

Expectations!

I have the least possible expectations of people. It doesn't mean I have given up on mankind. It only means that I like to give everyone some space to be whoever they want to be and whatever they want to do. It is not easy but not impossible either. 

Every time I feel a 'grudge' or 'bitterness' growing inside me, for someone failed me or didn't live up to my expectation, I tell myself 'everyone is doing the best they can!', I also like to cut people some slack, for example, if I am visiting someone and they are not welcoming enough or not the perfect hosts then I understand and say 'it's okay, they have kids to take care of and busy, stressful lives to be asking for attention.' I don't whine about it.

There is already so much stress in life, simply to even exist, why add to the drama with unnecessary expectations? The problem arises when people do not realize that they themselves were never up to the mark and express their grudge against you for not living up to their expectations - meaning they would expect a birthday card from you even though they themselves never wished you on your birthday. Lame example. But that is how lame expectations are.

Anyway, I think you get the gist, before you blame people for not doing something, ask yourself if you had done anything for them, also cut some slack - people go through ups and downs, depression, sickness, newborns, crazy work schedules, various phases and basically people have issues that you don't know about - think from their perspective before you jump to conclusions - give them benefit of doubt. It will give you some peace of mind...

My New Video - The Cooking Chromosome

Joke

(Do not want to portray women as stereotypical. I am sharing a joke, take it for what it is)

A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother that he has fallen in love and that
he is ready to get married.

He says, "Just for fun,  Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and
guess which  one I'm  going to marry."  The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them
down on the couch and they all chat for a while. He then  says, "Okay Ma, guess
which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The Indian mother replies, "I don't like her." 

What makes us happy?

They are right when they say happiness is just a state of mind. And yet I do feel agitated, anxious, stressed, sad and unhappy at times, over the years I have figured out six things that keep me in my default happy status -

1. First and foremost is good health. If I have bad health, I stop being myself, I stop enjoying anything that goes around me. Any ailment, however trivial, deducts from my happiness. So I work hard on staying healthy - as much as I can. Bad health is also a waste of time... already in our short lifespan.
2. Second is, being able to earn. Working and mainly earning for myself gives me a sense of pride, joy, and confidence. I saw a shift in my personality after I finished my masters and started earning. I have seen this happening with other people as well, shy and introvert-ish people start walking with an erect spine as soon as they start earning.
3. Money, in general, does provide happiness because it provides for your basic comforts, for recreation—travel, holidays, hobbies or in time of ill-health. A couple of years ago there was an article based on research conducted by Princeton University - on how much money one needs to earn to be happy and the magic number was 75,000$ per year (for the USA). I guess the number would vary for people living in different states/cities and also the number of dependents in the house etc. Money has a dangerous and unhappy side to it if it turns into greed.
4. The fourth is definitely family, friends, and people, being around them makes me happy. Companionship, camaraderie, socializing is rejuvenating, but at the same time, I stay away from the negative people as it robs me of my peace of mind.
5. The fifth is hobbies. I feel a void, big dent in my life if for some reason I am not able to spend time on stuff that I like to do, be it reading, writing, painting, dancing, biking or being with nature.

I feel going to clubs or parties every single weekend, gossiping, criticizing, watching TV constantly, or just being a lazy bum is a criminal waste of time. Social service and such also provides happiness. Basically, it’s important to concentrate on something that keeps you occupied meaningfully.

6. And last but not least is sunshine... Places like Seattle - which are constantly cloudy - are not meant for me. I felt low, gloomy and depressed in Seattle. I see a whole new shift in my mood and energy since I moved to the Bay Area. I feel back to my own self.

Video Log - Traditions

I keep making youTube videos on various topics, this one is about traditions.

Blogging

Blogging is a tricky medium. There is no guarantee that your post will be taken in the spirit that it was intended, it can be misunderstood by someone or the other.

I do not share names so there is no way to tell who it is written about or if it really happened (could very well be a figment of imagination). Also, I have had all sorts of experiences sad, bad, ugly, good, ecstatic and whatnot, I have known many vampires/ bullies/hypocrites/gossipmongers/male chauvinist pigs/negative/ beautiful/positive/amazing/ smart/intelligent/ warm/ welcoming/ terrific people. So the opinions expressed here are not based on one person or one thing, it can not be.

If the blogger is being sarcastic some may think they were upset or angry, sharing your opinions on human behavior can turn into debates as people might think you were targeting them, if you are making a valid point some will ignore the point and argue about something trivial that was expressed in the post and how it hurt them.

I have learned that no matter how clear, valid and simple we keep the posts there will always be an element of perception and interpretation, which again is subjected to the people who are reading it, their backgrounds, experiences, culture and sometimes their relation to me. I cannot control all this. 

So I have no option but to continue writing what I believe in. The only thing which is in my control is - I can make sure that the names are never mentioned anywhere, even my immediate family members do not know who I have written about (they have never asked me who the post was about too), there is never a personal vendetta or evil intended against anyone.

This blog is a reflection of my thought process, the opinions expressed here are not necessarily right or wrong, true or false it is simply my perception and interpretation of the world around me.

5 life lessons

Five life lessons that I have learned -

1) You can not please everyone.

Personally, I have seen that people have bizarre expectations. A lot of people are hypocrites and someone or the other will always get offended by what you do. Might as well do what makes you feel comfortable, happy and healthy.

2) Actions speak louder than words.

If there is something you wish to do, then do it first and talk about it later. Its always more fun listening to real-stories than the imaginary ones.

3) Life is short.

Great if you are adventurous and into daredevil sports but do not risk others lives because they might not recover from it. Ever! And if you are forced into doing something that you don't feel comfortable doing or don't have the nerve for then be strong enough to say no, doesn't matter if they call you a coward - I have experienced this firsthand, I broke my tailbone just because someone forced me to skate, it took me more than a year to heal from the injury, I had to take painkillers for one whole year otherwise the pain left me in tears each night. I didn't need to skate to show I wasn't a coward, I just needed to trust my intuition and should have said 'go to hell' (or whatever words I use when I am angry) - being aggressive/ vocal and upfront about what we want and do not want to do is much more courageous. Life is short. Do not make it shorter by being foolish.

The above does not apply just for adventures but anything in general. Remember you are an independent person, free citizen of a free nation. You alone are responsible for your health, well being, mental well being, people you want to hang out with or any decisions that you make. People will try to use bad-harsh-unpleasant words, thinking you will be manipulated that way. Let people bark. It doesn't matter. Trust your intuition. Stand up for yourself and if it comes to that then yell, scream make sure that you are heard and there are boundaries that people do not dare to cross.

4) Financial Independence is important.

Until you are dependent upon someone else for your 'survival', you will never truly be your own person.

5) Happiness is a choice.

And that means one needs to choose what we do in our lives, with our time, who do we hang out with, the kind of lifestyle we live - it is all a choice, happiness is a choice. 

Our Best

 

 

I work out every day for 60 minutes. Aerobics, Weight lifting, Pilates, Yoga, Hiking, Biking, Dance, Kickboxing and whatnot,  still I am not content because I never think I am doing enough. I should be doing more.

 

I prepare most of my meals. I spend around 60 minutes each day in the kitchen on meal preparations.  I eat simple and fresh food. I eat fruits, nuts for snack time. I also consume all my meals before 7 pm and I follow this successfully 9/10 times, the 10th meal I give up, I end up eating restaurant food, dessert, junk food, and such. 9/10 successful meals... and yet I think it is not good enough. I should be doing more. 

 

While I know this feeling of needing to do more will never go away but again it helps me to push myself and never give up. It helps me to stay motivated. 'Not doing enough' feeling doesn't have to translate into disappointment, it can also be translated into not giving up and pushing ourselves. 

 

When I started working out (I have been working out ever since I remember), my life was at a different stage. When I started blogging (2006?) it was at a different stage. And today (2019) it is at a different stage. With every stage, the challenges have changed and I am sure you have been through various stages/ phases - good bad, and the ugly. But as long as we keep doing our best and continue to focus on getting better, I guess we are doing enough. 

Lead By Example

I seldom give any weight to someone's opinion unless I respect them in 'that' particular field. If I like your body - health - mental status then I will listen to your fitness-diet tips. There are people who are double my size  - who have given me diet/ weight suggestions/advice.

Doesn't matter if you hold a doctorate in nutrition/ health or diet. First, prove to me that you have got it under control in your life and then you shall have my 100% attention :-)...

Don't get me wrong, I love to improve myself, I love pieces of advice, but say if my mother gives me advice on weight and diet then I would happily take it because she has been in shape forever, her diet is perfect, ever since I remember I have seen her exercise every.single.day, and even after having 3 kids she has a flat belly - she holds the credibility to give a piece of advice...

Or I would happily take a piece of advice on behavior and worldly wisdom from my father, he is one of the best people I have known in my life. But if toxic, negative and just bad people start to find faults in anyone/anything, I can not help but wonder why don't they spend that time in introspection.
I think you get the gist...Lead by example...


The world is changed by our example, not by our opinion.