Friday, September 30, 2022
Friday, September 02, 2022
Thursday, August 25, 2022
Sunday, July 17, 2022
Saturday, July 16, 2022
Confirmation Bias
Confirmation bias is our tendency to cherry-pick information that confirms our
existing beliefs or ideas.
And how do we form beliefs and ideas?
Many of them are imbibed in us since childhood, our background, reading, upbringing, surroundings.
Confirmation bias is somewhat linked to our memories.
Take for example - Homeopathy
The multibillion-dollar homeopathy industry is an example of mass confirmation bias.
Homeopathy was invented by a French researcher studying histamines.
He became convinced that as a solution of histamines was diluted, the effectiveness increased due to what he termed “water memories.”
He was so certain of his hypothesis that he found data to confirm it and ignored
And the same thing applies for people using homeopathy. They will not read the
research done by thousands of scientists all over the world to show that homeopathy is a fraud.
They will read articles that support homeopathy and deny the fact
that the medicine simply gives them a placebo effect.
Countries like India recognize an entire medical degree in Homeopathy. This just helps spread the confirmation bias.
Same applies on a personal level. If no one challenges our thought process then how does a person grow? How do we evolve? How do we come out of the bubbles of ideas that we are born and brainwashed into.
When we read/ listen/ discuss/ watch things that do not support our own beliefs
is the time when we get a different perspective, and see the world through
a new lens.
And We all have confirmation biases. However small or big.
We have a fondness for recalling evidence that backs up our beliefs.
As Leo Tolstoy wrote:
The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he
has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot
be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that
he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him.
Examples of confirmation bias are endless and are not just restricted to faith and religions.
Take for example - Homeopathy
The multibillion-dollar homeopathy industry is an example of mass confirmation bias.
Homeopathy was invented by a French researcher studying histamines.
He became convinced that as a solution of histamines was diluted, the effectiveness increased due to what he termed “water memories.”
He was so certain of his hypothesis that he found data to confirm it and ignored
that which did not.
research done by thousands of scientists all over the world to show that homeopathy is a fraud.
They will read articles that support homeopathy and deny the fact
that the medicine simply gives them a placebo effect.
Countries like India recognize an entire medical degree in Homeopathy. This just helps spread the confirmation bias.
We would still be living in idiotic primeval times if no one was challenging the people in power who make decisions.
Same applies on a personal level. If no one challenges our thought process then how does a person grow? How do we evolve? How do we come out of the bubbles of ideas that we are born and brainwashed into.
When we read/ listen/ discuss/ watch things that do not support our own beliefs
is the time when we get a different perspective, and see the world through
a new lens.
And We all have confirmation biases. However small or big.
The complexity of confirmation bias arises partly from the fact that it is impossible to overcome it without an awareness of the concept.
If we talk about our beliefs then we need to think
Do I just want to prove myself right in this conversation or Is it my confirmation
bias that I need to work on?
The biggest confirmation bias I had was when it came to fitness and diet.
I have seen my parents work out every day - doing yoga and going for walks.
My parents eat after every few hours, everything including sugar but in little quantities, And that is how I exercised and that is how I ate.
Why did I or anyone else does that?
because we would rather keep doing the same things that now have become a
way of our life, they are convenient and are in our comfort zone. Learning a
new way means agreeing that what we and our parents and people around us did all their lives was wrong all along.And how can we let that happen?
So we hold on to it even tighter when challenged.
And then I happened to come across articles on intermittent diet, and how sugar is poison even if eaten in small quantity, and also about the importance of cardio, strength and HIIT - High Intensity Interval Training.
why do I follow/ believe what I believe and how can I get another perspective
on the matter?
And I truly feel that we will find multiple things about ourselves, exercise and diet is just one example I told you about me, I still have a number of
them and I am working on it...
And I am not ashamed to admit it.
I am not one of those who says ‘this is how I am’
I am not.
Because I feel Becoming is more important than just being...
being is stagnant, becoming is evolving and evolving is the ultimate success
of any human being, society, company or country.
Or is it just my confirmation bias talking?
Maybe I got to ponder over that too.
Wink. ;-)
Saturday, June 25, 2022
Women, childbirth and their careers
After having a kid, were you advised that now it would be good if you let go of your job and focus on the family, marriage and child?
And some stupid comments like – the one who earns lesser should leave the job to take care of a child.
Due to historical advantages men obviously have more, they earn more.
Till today the notion is it is women who need to sacrifice their ambition, dream, career and their financial independence.
It is always a woman who takes a backseat after having children. Well, women scale back their career ambitions in order to focus on domestic matters – this inequality at home perpetuates inequality at work and also their salary.
A man once said to me after watching my video 'the cooking chromosome' that - “men don’t cook because the one who earns less should take care of all house chores...”
But Salaries are based on a bunch of factors.
Maybe the man is a doctor and the woman is a nurse, they both work equal hours, the doctor is obviously going to earn more but how do you define who worked more?
If you were hospitalized for a couple of days after your surgery then who would you remember when you go home? Doctor or nurse? I have always remembered the nurses…
They are the caregivers.
Maybe the man is a software engineer and his spouse is volunteering at an orphanage,
the man earns, the spouse doesn’t, but in the end who exactly has earned more?
How do you define that?
A person who earns more should not be responsible for the house chores - If you are saying that then you won’t stop there, this kind of person will also go on and say I will make all the decisions in this house because I earn more.
That being said, sometimes bigger incomes are associated with more hours at work. In this case, I think the higher income earner should spend some of that money on a cleaning/ cooking service so there's less overall housekeeping to do for both of them.
And I feel every Working Mom Must Ask these questions Before Quitting their job -
Ask yourself, is this a choice I would make if I were the higher-earning partner whose career was prioritized?
ask your partner: How can you equalize domestic labor and childcare?
Ask your employer for more support for caregiving employees or if you can take an unpaid leave of absence, or work part-time.
Don’t quit your aspirations due to societal pressures and the idiotic reasoning of who earns more gets to keep the job. If women quit jobs then the higher earning party will always be men!
Society is never happy, it doesn't matter what we do, and making them happy should not be our goal.
Monday, June 20, 2022
Saturday, June 11, 2022
Some More Movies...
The Grand Budapest Hotel - Liked it, I had a smile all along.
Banglore Days - A top notch simple ,smooth and sweet three hour drama dwelling in and out with emotions of love and friendship....
Moonrise kingdom - Strange, beautiful, innocent, funny, weird, and just an amazing amazing movie. Highly Recommended.
Shabdo - A very different Bengali movie which shows the trauma of a sound artist as he slowly gets disconnected from the humane sound to others......Great film, ambitious concept!!!
About Elly - What I like about Farhadi's films is he is not force feeding the audience with a set of preconceived notions, rather than asserting his own world vision he opens a space in which the audience get to be independent thinkers than being just consumers. About Elly is simple, elegant and yet incredibly complicated and tense.
Katyar kalajat ghusali - This Marathi movie is all about, Music , FriendShip , Forgiveness , love , ego, Help , Anger , Hatred. This is a must watch movie and I hope it reaches an audience worldwide.
Bajirao mastani - Liked Bhansali's portrayal of the Peshwa reign.
Saturday, June 04, 2022
Women and Reservations
Is the 30% reservation (in universities/ politics) a favor to women?
It is not.
Right to education, right to inheritance, right to family name, right to performing the parents’ last rites, right to freedom, public spaces, traveling, right to self-reliance, right to second chances in life, remarriage, parental love, even right to be born have all been reserved for men for centuries.
Politics, governance and law making is also reserved for men.
Women even today, are discouraged from taking their careers too seriously, career for women is seen as an option (and Getting and Staying Married as the goal). So the playing field is not level.
The entire society benefits from a system where every member has the opportunity to realize their full potential and to contribute to the best of their ability.
We need a society where women are valued by their families and that is not possible until they stop being ‘liabilities’ – which is not possible until they are provided equal and fair opportunities.
Is it stupid to demand equality where physical labor is involved?
One should be paid for the amount of work done not for one’s physical strength, because no two men (or women) are equally strong, and a stronger worker may or may not work more.
Equal pay for equal work is fair. Women are generally not paid as much for the same amount of work. Even today it is believed that a man has to support his family so he should be better paid.
It is not.
Right to education, right to inheritance, right to family name, right to performing the parents’ last rites, right to freedom, public spaces, traveling, right to self-reliance, right to second chances in life, remarriage, parental love, even right to be born have all been reserved for men for centuries.
Politics, governance and law making is also reserved for men.
Women even today, are discouraged from taking their careers too seriously, career for women is seen as an option (and Getting and Staying Married as the goal). So the playing field is not level.
The entire society benefits from a system where every member has the opportunity to realize their full potential and to contribute to the best of their ability.
We need a society where women are valued by their families and that is not possible until they stop being ‘liabilities’ – which is not possible until they are provided equal and fair opportunities.
Is it stupid to demand equality where physical labor is involved?
One should be paid for the amount of work done not for one’s physical strength, because no two men (or women) are equally strong, and a stronger worker may or may not work more.
Equal pay for equal work is fair. Women are generally not paid as much for the same amount of work. Even today it is believed that a man has to support his family so he should be better paid.
If a woman demands equality, should she behave exactly like a male?
Being equal means having equal rights to justice, opportunities, and happiness.
Equality does not mean some people need to behave like other people. And all men (or all women) are not alike either. Equality would mean men and women being able to be themselves – sometimes they might want to do some things that were earlier ‘reserved for men’.
Equality also means men have an equal right to enjoy cooking, caring for family, raising children, crying or dancing. It does not mean they have to behave exactly like women to be treated as equals.
Also consider, does a Chinese, a Maharashtrian, a Malayali, a Canadian, an Ethiopian or a Goan man behave exactly alike? But everybody is and should be equal in the eyes of the law and society.
Saturday, May 28, 2022
Friday, May 06, 2022
Saturday, April 23, 2022
The feminist men!
Men don’t deserve our ‘gratitude’ for taking interest in feminism.
Patriarchy, as a social system, is responsible for the suppression of women on a daily basis.
So you don’t get a cookie for taking interest in or being a part of the struggle against a system of oppression that shouldn't have existed in the first place.
Fighting for equal rights doesn't make you a ‘great guy’, it is just a basic human thing to do.
Thursday, April 14, 2022
Pondering relationships...
There are two stages of relationships...
first stage is passionate - where people are curious about each other, they want to spend every minute with each other, can not keep their hands off each other and whatnot...
there is newness, butterflies in stomach, there is not much history of arguments and fights, it is as good as a blank slate, I mean yes, there are also some negative emotions associated in this phase... because they are trying to figure each other out,
so there can be misunderstandings, overreactions, trust issues, misinterpretations and whatnot...
People fly high in the first phase... the question is not how high they fly... the question is how they land. The landing has to be smooth, it can not crash when it lands, because the landing is stage 2 of relationships all relationships reach the second stage (the ones that survive) .. some in few weeks, some in months and some in years... it is impossible for human beings to survive in the passionate stage for long... the fantasies are taken over by reality... and also by routine and getting into mundane things that need to be taken care of.
In compassionate stage couples truly become a unit, a family, they care for each other, they become one... metaphorically... they tap into each other's rhythm, moods, routine, there is trust. Some couples actually start looking like each other.
I mean the first stage is quite luring, intense, beautiful but second stage can be more amazing... and more stress free... because it can take us to beautiful bond of companionship...
What are your thoughts?
Saturday, April 09, 2022
New battlegrounds - The WhatsApp Groups!
I wouldn't want to know that kind of information from my immediate family too.
On Facebook, Instagram and other platforms we can choose the people we want to follow. And that too we get to see their posts if and when we login. No sweat.
With the advent of WhatsApp everyone who has our phone number can reach us. Not bad, as mostly people who are close to us have our phone number and communicating/ keeping in touch with good friends/ family members got so much easier. All good so far.
Then one day we are added to WhatsApp groups because someone suddenly realizes that 'hey we can have a group with everyone who we went to kindergarten with or went to college with'.
Then the list of groups we are part of keeps building up, the apartment complex where we live, the pilates/ dance and other classes that we go to, immediate family, cousins, friends from our old neighborhood... and the list goes on.
I was happy to be part of a few groups because planning got so much easier.
Coordinating for a dance performance that is coming up... planning a Diwali get-together with community friends, who is bringing what food, decoration everything planned without having to start an email chain and whatnot.
You know, I went to many schools as my father got transferred to a new town every 2 years. And I got added to all those school/ college/ neighborhood groups.
And the downside of being part of WhatsApp groups - forwards, good morning messages, and again people sharing too much irrelevant information that does not interest us - such as dogs!
I couldn't keep up with the information overload. Also, those were friendships based on the love and memories that we shared in the past, with nothing common in the present moment, nothing that I could connect on in the present moment (same applies to many relatives too, by the way).
So, I exited many groups.
And WhatsApp has no graceful way to handle someone exiting a group. It announces to the whole group - 'Rasika Mahabal left the group'. And then we can have some answering to do on private messages - as to why we left the group.
Now that being said, I still remained part of some groups.
And I don’t know if everyone has experienced this, but slowly I realized the vicious nature of group chats. WhatsApp groups are the new battlegrounds.
And the fights/ arguments happening on WhatsApp are about opinions. From political party to belief system.
I mean I have left a couple of groups when I realized that the group members were racist, Islamophobic, misogynistic, homophobic. And I felt ashamed of myself for ever being associated with such people.
And I wondered why didn't I see that side of them before? What is it with WhatsApp conversations that brings out the true colors of people?
Why wouldn't they discuss such sensitive topics in-person and why are they taking out all their frustration in WhatsApp chats? Why has it become a cauldron of heated discussions?
On Instagram and FB people have this hunky-dory image that they carry but since we have WhatsApp groups with people we are already very familiar with all the guards are off, everything goes unfiltered.
WhatsApp groups have become a hub of political campaigning, fake news forwards, demeaning political jokes, online bullying, and intolerance leading to hatred.
But we need to remember that when we talk about sensitive topics WhatsApp is not the right medium... as the person reading the messages has no way to find out the tone of our messages.
One could very well be joking about something and it can be misconstrued.... you want to discuss something sensitive - pick up the phone... because us spending hours on group chats to convince people about our opinions on some political party is no use...they are not going to change their opinions, the only thing that can be achieved through such group chats is fights...
I have a strict rule to be a part of WhatsApp groups now...I am part of them if they are strictly related to planning things -
"hey, going biking, anyone wants to join... what time do we meet?" .... and that kind of conversation.
But it all comes down to the basics...and these are serious questions we need to ask ourselves. What is the need for heated topics on WhatsApp groups?
Why continue spreading poison through relationships over disagreements of opinions…. It's time for us all - to introspect.
Introspect... what purpose do we want to use WhatsApp groups for, how do the discussions and showing disagreements on these groups help us and the other person... if we want to change their mind then is a group chat the right medium to do that?
And what points are important to make or break relationships. For example, for me - I can't take misogynistic, racist shit, in-person or on WhatsApp. And I am sure you all have breaking points... but just try to think can it be a disagreement over political party? Can it be a disagreement over what brand you use?
And I am assuming that we all have experienced it that people break relationships even with family members over a heated discussion over a political party that happened on a WhatsApp group!
So, what if they support a political party that we do not like? Is politics above relationships?
Why can't we keep WhatsApp groups a happy and mostly a useful place?
Friday, April 01, 2022
Wednesday, March 30, 2022
My funny valentine
Have you heard the song ‘my funny valentine’? When I heard it the first time I laughed, but when I heard it again I understood the depth of the song - since then it has become one of my favorite songs.
It goes like this -
My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you're my favourite work of art
Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?
But don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is Valentine’s Day
The song says I love you irrespective of all your human failings.
It is a song about the reality of human love: true love endures even when romance and fantasies become reality. To love each other despite all our earthbound constraints is a testament of true love.
The title tells us there is something funny about his valentine, but yet she makes him smile in his heart. Remember he doesn’t talk about lust, passion, fire that he feels… he talks about a smile.
I mean out of everything that life has to offer from passion to beauty who wouldn’t want to be with someone who makes them smile every day? And then every day becomes a valentine day…That kind of simplicity is something everyone would crave for.
Then he says your looks are laughable, Unphotographable, yet you are my favorite work of art.
Every other romantic song that we hear talks about how the guy falls for the beauty of the girl’s face and body. But here he says ‘is your figure less than Greek, is your mouth a little weak, when you open to speak are you smart?’ So he doesn’t care if her mouth is a little small but he cares when she opens it if she is smart.
And I have experienced this from time and again, when I found people extremely attractive but they opened their mouth to speak and I am completely turned off within 2 seconds. Isn’t that how reality is? How many people can bear to be with just good looks if they can not have a meaningful conversation with the person if they can’t smile with the person? Feel light and bright in the heart than having any intense feelings of passion and lust…
Anyway, I think you get the gist. I hope everyone finds their funny valentine.
Friday, March 25, 2022
My new book - Finding Nikki
It gives me great joy to share with you that my book 'Finding Nikki' has been published.
I fell in love with Nikki and her family and when I was done writing the book I missed being part of their house, quirks and mischiefs.
I hope you will fall in love with Nikki and her family and will laugh with them as much as I did.
The book is available in paperback and ebook options all over the world on Amazon (You can search using - Finding Nikki Rasika Mahabal)
and the book is also available at all other stores like Barnes and noble, flipkart, google, apple store. You can find the entire list here - https://rasikam.blogspot.com/2022/03/finding-nikki-links.html
Here are the links for India and USA -
India paperback - https://www.amazon.in/dp/9355590288?ref=myi_title_dp
India eBook - https://www.amazon.in/dp/B09W2ZTPWT
USA paperback - https://www.amazon.com/dp/
USA eBook - https://www.amazon.com/dp/
And please review/ rate, the book on Amazon, Goodreads and any other platform that you like. Also feel free to share with your friends and family.
'Finding Nikki' Links -
Paperback
India
Amazon india - https://www.amazon.in/dp/
International
Amazon USA - https://www.amazon.com/dp/
Amazon UK - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/
Amazon Germany - https://www.amazon.de/dp/
Amazon France - https://www.amazon.fr/dp/
Amazon Spain - https://www.amazon.es/dp/
Amazon Italy - https://www.amazon.it/dp/
Amazon Japan - https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/
Amazon Canada - https://www.amazon.ca/dp/
Amazon Australia - https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/
Amazon Netherland - https://www.amazon.nl/dp/
eBook :
Amazon India - https://www.amazon.in/dp/
Amazon USA - https://www.amazon.com/dp/
Amazon UK - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/
Amazon Germany - https://www.amazon.de/dp/
Amazon France - https://www.amazon.fr/dp/
Amazon Spain - https://www.amazon.es/dp/
Amazon Italy - https://www.amazon.it/dp/
Amazon Netherland - https://www.amazon.nl/dp/
Amazon Japan - https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/
Amazon Brazil - https://www.amazon.com.br/dp/
Amazon Canada - https://www.amazon.ca/dp/
Amazon Mexico - https://www.amazon.com.mx/dp/
Amazon Australia - https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/
Google Store - https://play.google.com/store/
Librarywala - https://librarywala.com/books/
smashwords - https://www.smashwords.com/
Apple store - https://books.apple.com/us/
Barnes and noble - https://www.barnesandnoble.
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