Women: 1. The professionals

This is the first part of the series.

The professionals

I believe the first most important thing for any woman is free thinking and second most is financial independence! A lot of women claim to want to be independent and then they do not do anything constructive about it. One cannot ever truly be independent until they are financially dependent upon father, brother, husband or son.

Since school days it never crossed my mind if I wanted to work - do boys ever think that way? No! It never crossed my mind that not working was also an option, all conscious efforts were taken in order to be able to work, to be able to earn, to be able to be independent. The girls that I grew up around were also very competitive and none of them ever mentioned that they might or might not work. ALL the girls from my school/ college group are working ladies. Some women get a good education in order to find a well-educated husband, that was never the case with me or the girls I grew up around.

I feel even if you are married to a well-to-do man still it is not the matter of whether you 'need' to make a living, it is a matter that you 'should' want to make a living and be able to support all your needs and wants - from buying groceries to owning a house (***there are scenarios where a person can not work - visa issues, health issues and I am not talking about these rare cases here).

Until we are dependent on a man for our well being, no matter how differently we think from him, we would never be able to take a step to make a change. Till we know we can cover the basic necessities ourselves, we will never be able to break the shackles of dependency. Working and earning for ourselves also gives a tremendous boost of confidence - I have seen this in men as well, men who act shy and awkward suddenly walk around with an erect spine as soon as they get a job, same goes for women. Working in the real world also makes one learn and grow as a person.

To be continued...

Health

I was fat, unhealthy and unfit. When I saw myself in the mirror or in photos, I cringed. How did I let myself go? I was low on energy/ stamina, catching something or the other in a loop. One day I felt ‘enough is enough, I need to take control of my health and not let my health control me’. Human bodies are magical, if you put your mind to it, it isn’t hard to achieve health.

I am not the top of the game as I write this, but I have come a long way. I have come down from 179 pounds to 132, from feeling sick and lethargic every day to a lot better. I feel healthier, fitter, slimmer and lighter than before. Physical health also improves ones' mental health (it goes the other way round too).

I did not run marathons nor did I starve myself. I just incorporated regularity in my exercise schedule and a personal pledge to eat right.

It would be nice if more and more people exercised, did some sort of work out. You don't have to make it to a triathlon or become a weightlifter. Do whatever you like. But exercise.

Recently I read an article that fitness and health are two different things, fitness indicates athletic qualities, people who can play a sport for 4-5 hours every day are fit but might be popping a hundred pills a day of various kind, fit people are not necessarily healthy - physically and mentally, what I strive and work for is health.

The feeling of health is one that cannot be matched. It is only after you start working out, that you realize how underutilized the human body is. On the first day, you might feel devastated to realize that your magnificent looking or feeling body is actually not capable of lifting even five pounds. But after a few days of training, you will be amazed at how the body does exactly the same things with absolute ease. And such a realization is a triumph.

If you have made your way towards signifying and prioritizing exercise in the routine then you are building a healthier future. You will see the prominent effects of exercising, your body will be beautiful from within. A beautiful heart, beautiful lungs, an absolutely stunning vascular system! And although your hair will grey and skin will wrinkle, your smile will be free of worries and your life - free of disease!

Happy Memories

Every time I go back home (in India, yes, that is still home for me), unconsciously or consciously I am looking for my childhood and to relive those old carefree days! A doted upon, spoilt brat with not a care in the world!  But now I have made peace with the fact that life is forever in continuous motion. I cannot bring back the days that have passed. But I can smile and relive them in my heart and be thankful that my life is filled with happy memories. 

Thought of the day

Sleep early. 

Eat Healthy. 

Exercise. 

Travel. 

Try new activities. 

Overcome fears. 

Be patient.

Talk less. 

Listen more. 

Live in the present. 

Don't compare. 

Don't complain. 

Don't explain.

Be generous. 

Work smart. 

Be green. 

Be thankful. 

Look at the positive. 

Ignore and avoid the negative. 

AND Shop less. Save more.

Video Blog Entry 3: Ghibli

Ghibli Films -

Girl Code

Never hate a woman you have never met.

Never date a friend's ex. Unless you don't want her as your friend.

Never reveal another female's secret.

Never leave an inebriated friend alone at a bar.

Never invite a friend's enemy to the party. You gotta stay together to survive the war :-).  

Never dine alone with a friend's boyfriend or husband. Unless she is dead.  

Never stay quiet when a friend is falling for an asshole. You will be cleaning the mess later anyways.  

Never trust a girlfriend who dates a married man or never trust a girlfriend who is having an extra-marital affair. There are simply no excuses.  

Never give constructive criticism in public. Give it to her in person.  And most importantly -

Never treat other women disrespectfully. It gives men ideas.

Different Crazy

I did crazy things in school, junior college (and honestly all throughout my life) - I slept under the last bench, sometimes I left the class from the back door, went to other colleges with friends instead of attending my own lectures, I don't even remember the crap topics I discussed with friends, I was kicked out of the class many times because I talked non-stop with friends or played games like hangman during lectures.

I also never stood up for anything, I had no courage whatsoever - if someone said something nasty to me then I would shed some tears without saying a word to them, or when 13 reasons why  happened I kept quiet without going to the authorities or speaking about it to anyone. Today I handle things differently. I am more rebellious and outspoken than the 'good old days'. I am no longer the silently-suffering-sorta-woman. I am more thick-skinned now (probably it is because of more layers of fat than thick skin, so to say :-))

If say, I was meeting with a childhood friend, who hasn't met me in all these years, and they judge me based on my past craziness and keep talking about it - then I wouldn't really like that because it is old news, I am still crazy but in new ways. People still call me crazy when I talk at length about things like gender equality or atheism.

If I look back at my past then I do not recognize that disillusioned person anymore, I do not relate to or understand that naive person either. Today I am nothing like what I was then - dumber or wiser is irrelevant here. I see childhood friends meeting and constantly talking about their wacky childhood stories and then some also judge people based on history. People grow up, they change their plans/ opinions/ habits/ behavior.

All I want to say is - do not judge anyone based on their past - I hear Agni Sharma became Valmiki later on.

Don't get me wrong, everyone is still crazy but they are 'different crazy' if you really want to then base your judgment on their new madness!

Reliable

I appreciate a lot of different things in people, one of them is - Reliability.

I feel we need to stand by our promise/commitment. We are as good as our word. And just in case if we are not able to then, we need to inform concerned parties about the change in plans beforehand.  It is good to be considerate and also take accountability for our word. If you ask someone to meet with you at a certain time/day then it is a good habit to make a note of it in your calendar immediately, we can not tell them last minute 'oh you are waiting for me? but I left for shopping'.

I feel it is okay to say NO.  Also for the receiving party invite it is easier to hear 'no' than to go through the disappointment and frustration that we will bestow upon them by saying 'yes' and then not showing up/ or taking care of something that we said yes for. 

Video Blog Entry 2: Shyam Benegal

Another Video log entry... hope you like it.

Book Reviews.2017.1

This series covers reviews of books that I read in 2017. Keeping the reviews short.

1. The Husband's Secret - Liane Moriarty
Loved this thriller. Moriarty's writing style is quite engaging. 4/5

2. Parallel Worlds: A Journey Through Creation - Michio Kaku
Michio Kaku is not only gifted in his abilities as a physicists (he is co-founder of string field theory, has written textbooks, articles, novels, etc. in the field of physics and popular science), but he makes the difficult and convoluted subject of quantum mechanics and classical mechanics accessible and entertaining for the everyday person. I love all his books. 5/5

3. The Code of the Woosters - P.G. Wodehouse
A classic piece of Wodehouse silliness, involving Bertie Wooster, his formidable Aunt Dahlia and (of course) Jeeves in a scheme to steal an 18th century cow-creamer during a weekend party at an English country house. Super funny as usual. 5/5

4. Carry on Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse
Reading Wodehouse is always a pleasant experience, which always fills the reader with much gaiety & happiness. Loved the book. 5/5.

5. Thank you, Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse
Jeeves and Wooster break up after Jeeves lays down an ultimatum and Bertie chooses his banjolele over his manservant. Hilarity ensues. 5/5.

You deserve it!

For things to turn out the way we want to we need to make the right decisions, and we can make the right decisions when we make a lot of bad decisions and learn from them. A lot of people take the responsibility for ALL the bad decisions, they never blame God, planets, their parents or anyone if things do not go their way in life but when they arrive at the success they tag it as luck, fortune or someone's blessings. And there are also people who tag others' success as luck, fortune, blessings. If you belong to this category, this post is for you.

I feel everyone has a choice to do or not to do something. No one can force you to do anything [unless you are at gunpoint!]. If you choose to do something that you do not want to then you are either not audacious enough to stand up for yourself or have a good reason for doing it [which again makes it - your choice!]  

If we are ready to take responsibility for the 'bad' that happens to us and say that 'yes, it was my choice', it makes me wonder why can't we own up to the 'good' that happens to us as well? I am not saying one needs to be ungrateful for everything that they have but it is just a thought, that if we are responsible for all the bad, then we should be responsible for all the 'good' equally. {I am not talking about the basic good things like the family/ background/ money that you are born with but the later stages}. 

If you see someone doing well, realize that they have arrived there by going through hardships, by going through a series of bad decisions, it didn't happen overnight.

We should not label things as 'luck' (myth), 'good fortune' (doesn't exist) or 'blessings' (bullshit).

Why can't we just say that - Yes! I deserve it!  or Yes! You deserve it!  We sure as hell have no problem saying it when something 'unfortunate' happens. 

Thoughts?

Angela's Ashes

A man dies leaving 9 kids for his wife to take care of, there isn't much money left for them to survive. There is poverty, no food, hardly any clothes to wear, one kid dies because of malnutrition, the wife is devastated. I did not tell you the story of the book, that is the story of my grandmother. We all have heard a similar story, from someone or the other. But here is the thing, my grandmother (Maai as we called her) was no Angela. She took control of the situation, worked in people's houses as a maid, every kid did a little bit something to provide for the family - sewing, cooking, my father worked as a typist.

Here is my problem with Angela's Ashes, I can not identify with people who sit in a corner and blame their horoscope, parents, siblings, government for the troubles they go through. I identify with Maai, the strong characters, who do not complain or whine, they take charge, they take action. And so I disliked the character Angela in this book. I like stories of fighters, I identify with them. (But the truth of the matter is we all have been an Angela sometime or the other and many Angelas exist around us).

I started reading this book because everyone I talk to books about has read it, I kept reading it thinking Angela will spring into action now. But 500 pages is quite a wait.

This is a heart-wrenching story of hungry kids and the reason why it works is that the way it is told, it is quite light and bright and unique, I had a smile all throughout the book, no wonder it won the Pulitzer Prize. From what I gather it is not fiction but a memoir.

My rating is 3/5.

Vanity Femininity

Were you told since childhood to be tough to be taken seriously and be able to stand shoulder to shoulder with a man? and tough means don't waste your time on the vanity, wearing lipstick is a waste of time. I don't know about you but I was told this by many. I never understood how dressing a certain way would reflect my intellect/ strength or merit.

I have seen well dressed, well-done-hair women with makeup, totally own an important office meeting, or bowl over in an intellectual discussion/argument, come first in exams, when they work, behave or open their mouth they deliver. Wearing dresses, skirts, makeup does not take away from a woman's intellect or strength. Women are vulnerable, emotional, compassionate and at the same time tough irrespective what they choose to wear.

I feel I belong in dresses and skirts more than in pantsuits. And overall I am very feminine in my dressing, actions, reactions, feelings. Your version of femininity might be different from mine, whatever your version of femininity is - embrace it. Do not let anyone tell you that you need to dress a certain way to be taken seriously. Our femininity is not our weakness. Dressing or behaving like a man does not necessarily imply that one is powerful.

If you have followed my blog then you might already know that I am a vocal feminist, and yet I don't think dressing/looking/behaving like a man 'on purpose/ without our wishes' is a way to go about it. The whole point of feminism is, yes - we are different from you and yet we are equals...

Success

What exactly is a success? Money? Fame? Career? Peace of mind?

When someone says 'oh you are so successful', what does it really mean? Can't success mean different things for every individual? What someone defines as our success can very well be reflecting their own aspiration and/or dream. 

For you, it might not mean as much as it would to the spectator of your life. So when someone says 'you are successful' it is their perception of our life and its stages.

When someone has reached a high-level position at work A might say that that someone is so successful but B might think that that someone is compromising on his health, family and mental peace which B has the luxury for, so he perceives that he might not be at a high-level position but he is more successful than that someone. I think you get the gist.

And when one asks themselves 'am I successful?', would the answer ever be a 'yes'? If we are truly on the quest to be our best, then would we ever label any stage of our life as 'success'?  I have come to believe that success is a mirage, an illusion which doesn't actually exist.

 Thoughts?

J. Krishnamurti

If you have beliefs then what do you have the intellect for?

I love the talks by philosopher, speaker, and writer J. Krishnamurti.  Recently when talking to a relative I learned that my great grandfather had a camaraderie with J. Krishnamurti, I found it quite fascinating and I wondered if my fondness for J. K. is genetic ;-)

Here is the link to one of my favorite talk by him - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYjYL448-yY

Randomocity 8

1. At the end of the day, it is just a blog. You can dress it up with however many advertisements as you want or fill it with however many pretty photos of yourself, but until there's a true passion driving it and some sort of a point, it's always going to be just another shallow, insignificant part of the internet.

2. Our ecosystem relies on a self-regulating balance of predators and prey. This system worked well with humans and their prey until we began inhumane farming practices that compromise the well-being of animals, the health of humans and the health of our planet. If you eat nonveg then opt for organic meat - the key requirements of organic meat are -

•Animals be raised organically on certified organic land
•they must be fed certified organic feed
•No antibiotics or added growth hormones are allowed and
•All animals have outdoor access

Randomocity 7

1. Every time I visit India I see Americanization of the country. Pubs, clubs, music, movies, clothing, dress lengths, the influence of English, consumerism... everything is Americanized. They are all very convenient and easy things that have been accepted by the Indians.

The hard things that need to be ingrained from the Americans would be their work ethics, punctuality, honesty, cleanliness, organization skills, innovation, providing for yourself from an early age and some driving sense.

I wonder when would India be Americanized in a true sense!


2. How would a world be when we are not known as engineers or artists, fat or thin, good or bad, right or wrong? We simply be what we are and we live...


3. Numerous animals are killed to satisfy taste buds of humans, providing for our fashion statements should be the last thing animals are killed for. I understand that for many of us branded handbags/shoes/belts (like Louis Vuitton, Prada, Gucci, Coach) are a status-style-andWhatNot symbol but still check out this video to gain some insight on where leather comes from - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcVDSSqdkFs


4. Summer bodies are made in winter and winter bodies are made in summer... go hiking, biking, running, jogging, play a sport... enjoy the outdoors and also workout.

5. What I truly don't get is the concept of "what's in" and "what's out"! I won't lie, I do read a lot of fashion blogs but I shop only on the basis of personal preference and good fit.

Here's a thought - Everything we wear doesn't have to be 'in-fashion' but definitely has to be 'in-perfect-harmony' with our personality and body type.

Mulling Over Marriages

For over thousands and thousands of years, two absolute strangers used to get married (this is still happening in many parts of the world) and many today out of love take the decision to become part of each others' happiness and troubles. When you look at a couple interact with each other you will know if they mend and blend with each other, if they were so to say 'made for each other' or 'made to be without each other'. Cheesy... but true.

When I look at some married couples I wonder how are these people still together... One of them is positive, happy, full of life and the other one is negative, hurtful - mentally/emotionally/physically, or is simply toxic. How does one live around this kind of a person 24/7? You can see that the other person would have been so much happy without her/his partner. Isn't it easier to live independently than to be living in a toxic marriage? Is divorce such a big deal in such scenarios? Some people stay on... for the sake of kids... I don't know how does it help the kids to be living with parents who don't get along, who are unhappy and who are living independent lives under one roof.

If people from this scenario get divorced then great... happiness is a choice and you made it.
And then there are some who get divorced... way too casually. Within two months of married life they get divorced saying 'oh he watches too much TV'. Okay!!! but you were in a relationship for years and out of them a few years in a live-in relationship

, you didn't realize it at that time? How can a person be just right for you for such a long time and then within two months you realize he is all wrong? Getting divorced for lame reasons without trying to make it work is also quite lame (I feel), never enter a marriage thinking you can ignore the behaviors now and change them later, because how would that work? Would you change your habits just because you signed a document?

The third scenario is where the couple just gets along without too many efforts, they fit like a jig-saw puzzle, their fights are quite a scene to watch too, they argue and next minute they are again best friends as if the argument never happened. They ignore the tiny ripples and move on. It is quite amazing to see such couples and how closely they get involved and how everything about their lives gets intertwined with each other. Their finances, professional decisions, inter-personal relationships which once, were independent of each other, get practically woven together... so tightly that the threads can barely even be seen! I find it quite an endearing phenomenon especially since human beings are essentially selfish so how do their pain and suffering unite with this one person? And then they spend the rest of their lives trying to make each other's life a little easier, happier and fuller! 

Death

I think about Death sometimes, I don't lose my sleep over it, nor do I think about it in a sad or depressing way but just as an inevitable end to the journey called life. You may think I am crazy to be talking about death but I am still going to put forward my thoughts on death.

I don't know when and where it is going to happen for me but let's face it that one can never ever be 'prepared' to face it. I wonder if anyone would miss me or if it would make a difference to anyone's life. Yes, we do live in a bubble of self-importance:-). The truth is that people will carry on without each one of us, just fine. Because people die. They will miss us and then they will go on with their day. What else are they going to do? In the beginning, they might think of us every day and then a few times in the year and slowly the memory will fade, resurfacing only when scratched.

What happens to the 'me' once the body is gone, or is it just the body that is all to our existence? There is no point in thinking about it, because all there is to our existence is this body, just telling you the scientific fact. And since there is no God, no Yamaraj, no soul and the theory of reincarnation is bullshit too, so death is ultimately the full stop.

I think of those who once lived. I think about my grandmother... Few days before she died she kept her head on my lap and cried, calling me with my nickname again and again. Did she want to say something to me? Had she seen her end coming? Today when I think about it I feel she was in a state of panic - of leaving everything and everyone behind, of separating from the loved ones. The memory of her death makes me sad till date.

Can one ever be content with how much ever one has lived, experienced or gathered? or one always feels greedy to see more and experience more? I worry about my near and dear ones, I never want to lose any of them.

Sometimes I think about not just the death of people and animals but also the death of our Sun. When our Sun dies would any life in the universe (if there is any) know that there once lived a Sun who gave birth to such amazing and beautiful creatures?

I am not 'scared' of death per se but I am scared of suffering or of being incapacitated in old age. I do not want to be a burden on anyone. My biggest dream is to die swiftly, without pain, without going through a shock or a panic attack, as if I am simply fading away in deep sleep. And till then I plan to live, work, exercise and have fun each day.

If there was no death, we were immortal, and there was no end to learning and working then wouldn't one get bored with doing the same things over and over again? The knowledge of death, the thought that there is an end to all of it makes me enjoy every day with utmost enthusiasm.

I want to say that I’ve lived a reasonably good life. Many live in poverty and severe conditions, and a lot die even before they turn twenty. So I can say that I have lived better and longer than many.

Many spend their entire life being toxic and then towards the end they suddenly realize that the end is near and they don't want to be remembered as being toxic and then they mend their ways, that is not how I want to live, don't get me wrong, it does not mean I take crappy treatment from anyone or let people walk all over me, I stand up and am harsh when it is needed. I haven't and will not hurt any living soul intentionally, be it even animals and that is how I want to continue until I die.

When it is time to go I do not want to say I lived how people wanted me to and never actually lived my own life, so I live my way, by my rules, I spend each minute how I want to, I do not live by society's norms, I do not do things because I fear people's criticism, criticizers are just a bunch to unhappy and hypocrite people reflecting their own mental status on others, so never mind about them, they are not worth spending time over.

My default mental status is at peace with myself and with the world,  and that is exactly how I want to be when I leave the world. I want to go without any regret or grievance against anyone.

Style Blogging...

Most fashion bloggers are “influencers”, they are people who have the ability to influence you to spend your hard earned money on stuff they just get for free!

Someone asked me if I have the pressure to continuously buy new things in order to be relevant in style blogging, my answer is no, I don’t. First of all, what I have is not a fashion/ new trends and style kind of a blog, what I have is a personal style blog, that is how I dress and according to fashion and latest style standards, it could be completely outdated. I wouldn't know, fashion/ what's in and out changes every day and I do not want to track it. I do not propagate unnecessary spending on anything. I do not shop much, I do not follow trends, I do not talk about ‘sales’, because I myself never keep track of or buy at them. I urge people to invest in quality over quantity.

I am not dressing up for the blog, I don't blog to show how much stuff I have, I blog to show how much can be done with however little that one has. I create a new outfit every day with just the same stuff that I already have.

I do not want my readers to come to my blog and feel they don't have things, I do not want them to be discontent with their current closet, I do not want them to go out there and buy what I am wearing, I do not want them to even copy my style or outfits.

I want my readers to visit my blog and get excited about getting dressed well. I want them to see their existing wardrobe with new energy. I want them to think before they shop. I want them to create a wardrobe that represents THEIR personal style. Having a lot of clothes or having what’s in the trend or walking in ladder-like high heels does NOT make you look stylish but feeling comfortable and confident in what you are wearing does. (and as I have said this before - fit body trumps jewelry, clothes, shoes, accessories, makeup, hairdos and all that)

Randomocity 6

1. The 'how' matters more than the 'what' in almost all the situations

2. Give your best compassionate smile, instead of saying, 'told you so!'

3. Always look at the bigger picture

4. If you have loving parents, caring partner, supportive siblings but if you do not know the direction you want your life to go in, then none of them can help. People or things can enhance our life and its experiences only if we are on the path we desire to take.

5. Let everyone be, also let yourself be.

6. Happiness over wealth. Health over comfort. Nutrition over taste. Live in today. Make peace with the past.

7. Pull yourself up than bringing others down

8. Do not let success go to your head

9. Behave with a little class and dignity

10. Be capable to manage your personal finances and time.

Homesick

Do you ever feel homesick? The feeling is quite traumatic, I get a heavy heart as if my chest is not able to contain the heart within. Then I get engulfed in the turbulence of thoughts... Yes, I am homesick... 

... I miss home and I also miss the past. 

I miss those days which cannot possibly come back. 

But that doesn't stop me from wanting them back.

I wish it was possible to go back to those relationships which were purely based on the fact
that we shared the common classroom, and nothing else.

Or where having common interests meant we were going to be best friends forever.

I miss those carefree days of college and the days when everyone elder to me doted upon me for absolutely no reason.


Today is one such day when I am homesick and past-sick.

Randomocity 5

1. Pull yourself up than pulling others down

2. Never feel guilty about being happy!

3. There are laws of physics and everything else is someone’s opinion.

4. Knowing where you came from is no less important than knowing where you are going.

5. There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching.

6. Anything or anyone, that does not bring you alive, is too small for you.

7. All gods will die off one by one as their relevance outlives our evolving intellect - Dan Brown

8. If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind - Buddha

9. Be kind and polite but never a pushover. Stand up for yourself!

10. A little restraint in speech, action, and reaction goes a long way.

Randomocity 4

1. Do not resort to whining at all times

2. Do not eat like a pig and then complain about your poor health

3. Treat others the way you wish to be treated

4. Never take kindness for granted

5. Never measure your achievement or goals against someone else's

6. Treat others the way you wish to be treated but also - treat others the way they treat you! Ha! That means if someone is disrespectful/hurtful with you then no need to shower them with love and care... move on.

7. When nothing goes your way, there is always an option of changing your path.

8. Do not ask your daughters to help in household work while the son sits in front of the television.

9. Do not tell your daughter she cannot go out past sun-set while the boy is not back home even at dawn.

10. Do not tell your daughter that learning to cook is more important than making a career.

11. Everyone who passed through my life has always left something of theirs in me. The memory of a smile, a gesture, a laugh, a word, a kiss. If they hadn’t left anything, it would be because they didn’t exist. Even those who disrespected or hurt me left something in my heart. If anything, they reminded me of what I won’t allow to exist in my life anymore - José Micard Teixeira

Truly Patriotic

Is 'patriotism' a byproduct of all the wars and battles which had been fought by tribes, clans, cults, religious groups to survive? Is it soon becoming an obsolete emotion? Because this generation is born and brought up in comparatively calmer surrounding (than the world wars and British Raj) and also this generation lives all over the place. We are born in one country, study in another, work in the third country and then retire in a new country altogether. So which country are we going to be 'patriotic' about? And I do not mean for a sports game, I mean in the time of war.

Is 'patriotism' one of the hurdles in the path to world peace? If there was no patriotism, but only general regard and respect for mankind, no matter where they were born or bred, wouldn't the need to own, capture, secure and protect a manmade boundary disappear? It is wonderful to be proud of one's heritage but if that converts into thinking that we are superior to the other cultures, then it is not really a noble concept.

From what we know Earth could be the only planet with life ... found anywhere nearby or probably found anywhere in the billions of galaxies, it would be great if we are patriotic for the Earth in its entirety and save its environment, life, and beauty!

Randomocity 3

I think about life at all times... in small doses..


1. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference! What do you think?

2. All disease begins in the gut, and all disease must be addressed by improving gut health.

3. Distance doesn’t separate people... silence does.

4. You know, I don't understand why married women put bindis, wear mangalsutra, change their lastnames and glorify the concept that they are married. Men don't do that. They are born a Mr. and die as a Mr. Women are tagged as Miss or Mrs.Why??? Exist as an individual, with/without a man, you still are worthy. Customs need to change and each one of us has to become a catalyst.

5. Strong and positive parents have happy kids.

6. No harmony is possible unless their is justice. Bitterness and oppression can not bring peace. Be tactful, remain polite and respectful, keep your cool …. but do not accept such treatment.

7. Fear makes people try hard to win hearts, a venture that is bound to fail, because people who need to be 'won over' are never worth it.

8. Good friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget ...

9. Listen to everyone, but do only what your head says

10. Learn to say No! It doesn't make you a bad person

Randomocity 2

1. We are all born with some sort of advantage - be it being born in an influential, brilliant or a rich family, being brought up in a peaceful, loving, quiet atmosphere or it can be anything from good looks, skills, to great health. Do we realize our advantage? or crib about things that we don’t have? why not have a realization and make the most of what we have?


2. Do we have a constant need to categorize things that we do as productive and unproductive? The heart says read fiction and the brain says 'read non-fiction that is productive'.

I crave to experience those childhood days again when life was innocent, had no responsibilities and had nothing to prove. I would spend hours making paper boats and looking at them move in a pond from one end to the other. I did it goal free and guilt free. No one (including my brain) had opinions on how I spent my time.

It is amazing to see people who have figured out what 'waste of time' is while I still contemplate what 'time' means. We are all going to die one day so does that mean life is a waste of time?

3. Do we always have great fear of getting tired? Any energy spent is not lost forever. We plan our fatigue the same way we plan everything else. We 'save energy' to work out at the gym, there too we time ourselves, count repetitions, track the heart rate.

These days people wear those wrist bands which shows how much they slept! If you wake up and feel fresh then you slept well... Similarly if you feel like working out in the morning and then again in the evening then go for it! Some days you might have a lot more energy than your already set goal of X steps (which can be set on the wristband) and on some days you might have to drag yourself to take even one step ;-), Why let a machine decide for us how much we should do? Why not just go with the instinct?

We definitely need to stop robotic routines and move around, run, walk, do Pilates; Yoga, go biking, climb hills, jump, dance... There is no rule how many times or how much to do. Just do it as much as you can... because really you can!

Randomocity 1

1. The 'friends' orbiting at the farthest reaches of your digital galaxy aren’t the ones that matter when it comes to your health and happiness. But the people you hug, laugh and lament with are the ones who have the greatest impact on your health and happiness.


2. Try to stay away from those who give you stress, humiliation, disrespect, unhappiness and then you will see the difference in your entire well being.


3. Willingness to wind and wander, to take missteps that lead us to places we couldn’t have known to go, I guess any creative process is rarely a straight path.


4. Each of us draws a circle around ourselves and we think whatever is outside that circle is wrong/ not good/ not acceptable and then we try to domesticate others based on our perception of the world. Should we get domesticated or rebel? Rebel for freedom... to be true to ourselves... to be true to who we are .....


5. Strong Women...May be you know them, may be you are one of them but most definitely raise them (to be strong)....


6. We make career decisions at an early age then put on blinders and gallop towards our determined destination. Why don’t we just enjoy our journey and explore the magical side trips? We cannot know what adventure awaits us or how those side trips affect our lives but are we missing something grand because we decide to stay on the same path?


7. Success is getting what you want and happiness is wanting what you get.


8. It is not harmful to own things but it is harmful to be owned by them ;-)


9. Once you truly believe you’re worthy of love, you will never settle for anyone’s second best treatment.


10. Best things in life are not things at all.

The Facade

On social media - I have seen a couple posting exotic vacation pictures every month (making everyone feel what a great couple they were) and then they got divorced in a few years. You will see people posting pictures partying with their 'friends', but they would nowhere be close to being 'friends', some barely know anything about each other, and some dislike some of them. I have seen people posting amazing pictures with their kids, the very same people who would be spending hardly any time with their kids otherwise. Social media is a facade where people want to share just the good things and show that they live in a rosy la-la land but far is the case.

Social media is setting us up for feeling low as if everyone is having fun but us. I have shared this before why I had deactivated my FB account. I am on it now but I am subscribed to just 4 people. I do not want to see what people are drinking, eating, where they are vacationing, who are they hanging out / partying with, or what their kids are drawing, it is way too much information for me than what I care to know. I do not visit anyone's profiles as well.

What I have learned from my social media (FB and blogging) experience is -

- Life is not perfect for ANYONE - even if they are trying hard to portray it that way

- It might seem that everyone has it better than you, but they really don't

- Don't believe everything that people write on their blogs/FB posts. People lie. Or there are some like me who reveal just 5% of their life. People have lines drawn for what part of their life they want to share and what they do not want to share.

 

Social media can cause depression and the feeling of missing out... If you get affected by the information that is shared by people on social media (that means if you feel low, inferior, jealous, sad, bad, negative and whatnot) then unsubscribe to people who are not adding any value and also think about how much time you want to spend on its usage...

Random Thoughts Again

1. One may put on weight because of several reasons: pregnancy, childbirth, medical issues, bad diet etc. but the most lame excuse I have heard for being overweight is 'It is genetic!'. The only thing that is genetic or so to say runs in the family is lifestyle, choice of diet and exercise.


2. Who is more attractive - a person who is wearing lot of gold and diamonds or a person who is wearing fitness? Fitness is a philosopher's stone that makes YOU look gold.

3. Fit body  is the most precious thing one can have and unfortunately money can’t buy it but hard work and self control can.

4. Body is the only thing that we have from the time we are born till the time we die. We must take proper care of it and certainly not add any poisons to it.

5. For losing weight one needs to sacrifice a lot of things. WRONG. If weight loss is an important goal for you then what you give up is not a sacrifice. Anything that we give up to achieve higher pleasure can not be termed as sacrifice, its a gain. So weight loss is also a gain in a way ;-).

Past Present Future

Once in a while I mull over my actions and or beliefs from a few years back and I reach the same conclusion every time - "I can not believe, how naïve (aka dumb) I was!" 

Looking back I never think I was all that intelligent. I could have done things differently. Done them better. I could have been more confident, studied more, played more, created more, snapped out of inferiority complex, or had the ability to judge people better. I am not telling you my regrets. It is a mere analysis and aftermath of what goes on in my head.

The 'present me' gives the 'past me' that aggrieved feeling, the kind one gets when they cannot believe that someone can be that disillusioned (aka stupid).

Do you ever feel unhappy with the 'past you'? 

Well, never mind, here's to the better 'present us' which we will be looking back on as past in the future!

Enjoy

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

- Mary Schmich

I no longer have patience...

I no longer have the patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism, and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me, and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty, and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship, I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals (and are not feminists). And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.

- José Micard Teixeira

- and are not feminists added by me ;-)

Empty Voids

We are all surrounded by chemicals. Our soap, shampoo, perfume, deodorants, house cleaning supplies, dish washer soap, laundry soap, sometimes water that we drink, air that we breathe, the food that we eat (grown with pesticides/ fertilizers), clothes that we wear (processed with chemicals and dyes), everything is loaded with chemicals and toxins. To add to that we, with our own 'conscious will' decide to indulge in some more toxins like alcohol, drugs, cocktails, chocolates-deserts-ice-creams made with liquid nitrogen, preserved foods.

Humans have these empty voids that they try to fill up with some crazy entertainment (which is mostly consumption - as mentioned above). We have moved away from natural living big time.

We need to eat clean, simple food, explore variety but keep it simple, respect food. Food gives us energy, it was us, it is us, it repairs us, we are what we eat/drink and what we digest, food is sacred.

There is nothing safe in consuming alcohol, drugs or food loaded with chemicals (molecular gastronomy!), even though the argument will be, it is safe in small quantities. We are surrounded by toxins already, we don't need to add more to our body.

Change is required in the way we eat, move, sleep and think...

Busyness

In your recent interactions with people have you ever answered to the simple question “How are you?” with some variation of “I’m so busy!” What happened to the good old, “I’m fine, thank you. How are you?”. Do we somehow think that being “busy” is a symbol of status and importance?

Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness; it is our way to tell people that our life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if we are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day. When we say 'I am busy' it sets a wrong tone to the conversation too, because if we are so busy then it creates distance even before one starts the conversation (my opinion), why would anyone want to take our time in a small talk if we are so busy.

The truth is that being busy all the time is counterproductive. Our brains need space to think clearly and strategically. If we are caught up in the busy trap then it actually means that we are constantly reacting to tasks, accept whatever the day throws at us, being part of something that we don't even want to do, instead of making purposeful choices about what to do with our time.

We need to stop the glorification of busy and not let the activities/ social events/ tasks choose us, but we should choose them.

We need to make the choice to be less busy and schedule some time to reset, relax and give our mind the space it needs to think creatively, to come up with great ideas and to just rejuvenate.

Every time we tell ourselves (or others) that we are too busy, we should stop and think about what we are really saying and think about everything that is cluttering up our calendar and our to-do list and decide to do only what is important. We just might discover the joy of being less busy.

Fashion

These are my opinions on what fashion is (as usual applicable for both genders).

• We should not wear certain clothes because others are wearing them. We need to wear clothes which make us look & feel good. Fashion can take a hike! It's good to be fashionable but only when fashion makes us look good!
• We should not forget our paunch :) how many of us have a perfect-flat-stomach? I know I don't. And yet, we are determined to wear body-fitted dresses circling our paunch almost, as if with a compass! don't wear belts, low rise jeans or things like that, unless you want to highlight the paunch.
• We need to watch our make-up (if you decide to wear it). It is a good idea to learn basic makeup and know some tricks like the foundation needs to match our skin-tone. Innumerable makeup tutorials are available on Youtube.
• Keep it simple. Fancy clothes plus too many accessories can result into looking like a circus really :). When accessorizing, choose one - bunch of bangles/bracelets or bunch of necklaces/chains or one of each and never all!

Random Thoughts

• Value your time. Don't confuse being busy as being productive.
• Pick your battles. Just because you choose to be quiet doesn't mean you are wrong. It means you are smart enough to save your energy for what matters more.
• Don't let anyone else decide your self-worth - not social media, not your followers, friends, not your family. You decide your own self-worth.
• Standing up for what you believe in doesn't always mean going out on a protest march. Simply continuing to live the way you want to is action enough.
• People will continue to surprise you. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes not. Try and keep an open mind. Even with buffoons.
• Just because someone is intelligent doesn't mean they will produce quality work and vice versa.
• No one has it 'all' figured out, no matter how sorted they look. Everyone is just doing the best they can.
• Let go of the fear of missing out. No one is having more fun than you are. If you are happy where you are, then that's what matters the most.

Not my concern

Some people want people they like, to get along with each other, they take measures to make sure that everyone they hang out with like each other back. For example your friend might want you to get along well with her husband and kids, or your partner would like it if you got along with her family, your family would prefer it if you got along with all your relatives, your relatives would be elated if you got along with all their relatives, may be that's bit of a stretch but you get the gist.

I understand that it can be very stressful mentally to be spending time with people you don't get along with - simply in the name of association.

I am totally fine if two people I am extremely fond of, are not fond of each other much. The least I expect from people in general is to be civil and well-mannered no matter who they are and whom they like (or not). I have no need for my girlfriend to get along perfectly well with another girlfriend, or every family member to get along with every other family member, so on and so forth. It is great if they do, but if they don't it doesn't bother me.

It also does not bother me if someone I am fond of is hanging out with someone I don't get along with. I really don't care to indulge in anyone's personal dynamics with each other. I like giving people their space and letting them make their own choices about who they want in their lives and/or don't, my wavelength matching or not matching with someone does not imply it will for you. I do not think having me as a common link should be a punishment for anyone. The only relationship they need to care about is with me. Anything else is not necessarily my concern.